This is my very first poem which I wrote for my college mag in first year.
Shan.
Re: Aanso
Very nice and lovely :k:
Re: Aanso
You are born mature. Bohat achi tehreer hey:k:..Thanx for sharing 
Re: Aanso
Re: Aanso
Nicely done with the subject:) .
As far as the poetic side is concerned 
, I have a suggestion:
Aansu
Ek tanha sa akela aansu
Sard palkon pe jama hai kab se
Jaane kis baat pe ye dheere se
Meri palkon pe umadd aaya tha
Baat bhi yaad nahi hai ab to
Gham to barson se mera monis o dam-saaz raha
Is ki khushbu se lahu mein garmi
Is ki garmi se ferozaa(n) rahe hangaam-e-khayaal
Jaane kaise wo chali aaee thi
Ik pal k liye
Ajnabi mere liye thi
Barri anjaani thi
Jaane kaisi thi wo be-naam khushi jo muh se
Chheen kar le k gaee thi
Mera gehvaara-e-nam
Mera barson ka asaasa
Mera sarmaaya-e-gham
Aur
Us waqt se main
Dhoond rahi hoon
Us ko.
Aap ko suggestion de kar kahin gustaakhi ka murtakib
to nahi ho raha main:( 
Re: Aanso
Although...our Mods, should help or correct/suggest our creations,
and its a healthy trend by zamil... I have done that "Jisarat" in the
past..but got cold shoulder, I think in this forum, we must help each other
and feel fortunate for such interactions.
I will appreciate if some friend provide me some healthy criticism, instead of
just wah wah...we should have a dialouge about a particular creation.
BTW Shahana ji...apki pahli creation bohat kamyaab hai....mubarak !
Re: Aanso
Masooom aur mutashir sooch .... maree nazar maain .
Good poem . Keep sharing ur poems .
Sukhee rahoo
Khalid Qureshi
Re: Aanso
Re: Aanso
Belated, yes, but I have opened a thread to disccuss this issue. Let us not spoil Shahana’s thread
Re: Aanso
Good poem :k:
Re: Aanso
thanks everyone.