A woman's home after marriage

[Paheli00]

Re: A woman’s home after marriage

@Demesne

They have a child. Cannot deal with inlaws basically is that MIL takes husband’s salary according to girl and she gets a lot of verbal abuse and “taanay” in that home. So she left herself. No physical abuse, she wasn’t shoved out.

After marriage, a girl’s rightful place should be where? What are the implications of living apart from inlaws and husband shuttling back and forth?

1. In the specific situation you described, what does the husband say? Has he insisted that she moved back in with him or thereated divorce if she doesn’t? Or is he continuing this “adjustment” without any problem?

2. In the above situation, if the woman gets verbal abuse/taanay from the in-laws…then I believe it was good for her to move out (especially since she has a child). What mother wants to raise her child in a home where the mother is being disrespested and being put down constantly? Does anyone here actually believe that its good for a child to live in a situation where he/she sees the mother being verbally abused by the in-laws? What does this teach the child? That its ok to live your life being the victim of verbal abuse? The woman is living with her parents…the father is going back and forth regularly…so the question becomes…how is this living arrangement working out for the child.

3. Generally speaking, a woman’s “rightful place” is where she is treated with respect and not being subjected abused in ANY form (verbal, emotional, physical, sexual). The notion that a woman should put up with verbal/emotional abuse just b/c she’s a “wife” is ridiculous in my humble opinion. If a woman’s husband is not able to provide a safe/abuse-free enviornment for her (and their child) to live in…then she has every right to seek one herself. Yes the in-laws/husband didn’t force her out of their house…but they were perfectly happy with her living with verbal abuse every day. I give her credit for not staying quiet and putting up with it.

4. The implications of situations like this depend entirely on the couple. If the husband and wife have both accepted this arrangement and it works for them, then no one else has a right to tell them how their marriage should be.