After 28 years of marriage to the cruelest, meanest, and heartless wife a man could ever have, a Vermont dairy farmer takes his remaining $12,000 of a $1.5 million divorce settlement (including the farm), he decides to fulfill his life-long dream of traveling to Egypt. While hiking around the pyramids, he stumbles upon a lamp.
As a typical American, he rubs the lamp. As the story goes, a Genie POPS out of the lamp!
Genie: “What has brought you to awaken me from my long slumber?!”
Farmer: “I recently got divorced from my less-than-wonderful wife.”
Genie: "DIVORCE? Because you’re divorced, whatever you wish for, you wife
gets double."
Farmer: “You got to be kiddin’ me! She already got everything!”
Genie: “Sorry, those are the rules.”
Farmer: "Alright, if that’s the way it’s gonna be, for my first wish, I
would like $100 million."
Genie: “Your wish is my command! …but your wife now has $200 million!”
Farmer: "That’s fine. I can live with that. For my second wish, I want the
biggest mansion on Lake Champlain."
Genie: "Your wish is my command! …but your wife now has 2 mansions on
Lake Champlain."
Farmer: "Mmmmmm…now for my THIRD wish! …
…Genie, for my third wish I would like you to beat me HALF to death!"