U prob remember me and the confusion I was having with silly little thing (apparently a man)
Anyway…just thought I would update you all…about 1.5 mnth ago..I had him saying he got feelings…would love to have someone like me as his wife…love me etc etc…but he needed a month to think about it …anyway…last night…he said he loved me as a friend WTF…friends do not for example kiss on the lips … apparently he needs to talk for a long time with me this week…but WTF !! whats the point now…is this some desi thing…where caus no girlfriends allowed you have to say you love that person as a friend?
Anyway…I went out on a date with someone else last night…he was texting sayin…r u still with him…how did u arrange this…by phone or internet…where he taking u blah blah blah…u think this guy for real…I mean whats it to him how I arranged it unless he is bothered! LOL
U prob all think I am nuts…but this guy continues to affect me…and yes I will have the chat…but getting him out of my life is easier said than done…I know I have to do it…as I am sooooooo depressed…its like I jusst end up bursting into tears at work…have slipped into anorexia and obsessive exercising and I just do not know what to do to make mylsef better…I am so sad
Anyway I thought I would update u all…hope everyone had a nice EID!
i never had you pictured as such, stop allowing this dude to effect you and stop feeling down and depressed, its one of my pet peeves.
kick him to the kerb even thou this will be hard and move on, next time you post here i expect to read an entry that all is well in the world of catwomen and your now a perfect 10.
i like how u’ve phrased that *silly little thing -apparently a man * !!!
I guess he just wants a friend with benefits …a lot of desi guys are discovering the joys of such an existence i believe …and having allowed him such liberties , why would any guy commit when he can get what he wants without any strings attached !***
its weird though, how you seem affected, yet were on another date anyway. so it shouldnt really be a big deal to you either. he probably had other options and needed a month to figure out what he wanted, or just wanted to play for time. either way, forget it, you say ur upset/depressed etc but your on another date for gods sake, obv not THAT upset then....good for you, move on...
I think its safe to say that out of the people who read your previous threads about this guy, no one is surprised at this. At that time when he was back home, almost all the guppies here told you that he's playing with your emotions and that you should move on.
As for the kissing....if I remember right, according to you this guy was never actually your boyfriend. He's a "friend" who expressed an interest in you but you two never actually dated. At least that's what I understood from your posts. Please correct me if I'm wrong. Soooo....if you two did not actually date and were not in a relationship, then I have no idea why YOU would allow him to kiss you on the lips.
I think it's great that you went on a date with someone else in an attempt to move on. Once again I'm baffled as to why you felt the need to tell this guy that you went on a date with someone else. How is it any of his business?
Look this guy already made it very clear that he will not consider you even his GF...let alone wife. I assure you that sooner or later, this guy WILL marry someone his family chooses for him. So right now...it's upto you as to how you want to deal with this. You can start gaining some self confidence and self respect and kick this guy out of your life (ie. do not answer his calls, do not respond to his emails or texts). Or you can continue to have him be a part of your life and continue to allow him to play games with your emotions.
As for the "long talk" he wants to have....lol.....I can't believe you're even considering doing it! Seriously....what do you really expect from this guy after all he's done?
Obviously, he was more than a friend to you which is why it will take some time to ge rid of him from your life. It wont happen overnight.
That being said, ignore him and pretend as if he never happened...at least to him. Break off all contact, get over him and dont talk to him unless you can only see him as a friend and nothing more.
I went on a date to take my mind off things...and make it easier for me...hope u all understand ...we were never boyfriend///girlfriend..but used to cuddle up on sofa..quick kiss on lips ...its just I wondering why he want a long chat..when he said he loves me as a friend...I think thats a waste of time to be honest! :-)
just want clarrification...when desis say love u as friend...is this because you cant have girlfriend or boyfriends so its easier for u to think that haram is not being committed?
When people are this vested in a relationship, to the point where it overtakes their life, they are more than likely to see the outcome to the end. That being said, you will meet /talk to him. He'll give you his spiel, most likely stringing you along as his "good friend" etc. It really is up to you to make the move to cut it off when you are able to. You aren't at the stage to just be friends with him. And you may or may not ever get there. But you can only heal for the moment if you cut it off completely and give yourself time and space from him. Go be you. Do things for yourself. Spend time with friends/family. This too shall pass.
Any kind of physical contact before marriage is haram anyway.
You are mentioning kissing on the lips as if it was a handshake between two friends.
If he kissed that part of sofa where you were sitting that will not be haram , I guess. :halo:
So, now you know that he was either leading you on or doesn't have the balls to commit. Neither situation is good. You invested some serious emotional energy in this guy....so naturally it will take some time to move on from him. You're not going to get over him so quickly. But it is possible to move on....and it will depend upon your will power and consistency.
Having him in your life seems to make you more miserable than happy....and it's taking a toll on your health. His presence is toxic for you.......and that said.......I think it's better if you cut all contact with him. Don't talk to him and don't respond to him either. I think that continuing to interact with him and dealing with his wishy washy behavior will only delay your healing. He says that he sees you only as a friend........but friends don't hurt you like this. He doesn't seem like a very strong or grounded character. And if you respect yourself......then stop wasting any more of your precious time and health on him....and look for a guy who knows for sure that he wants to be with you. What more can anybody on this forum advise you? Correct me if I'm wrong....but I vaguely remember you saying in previous threads that this was the "last" time you're going to ask a question about him. But instead you asked questions several times. Now......what more can we tell you other than to move on? He doesn't want you....BUT....he also doesn't want you to find happiness with some other guy. That's not love...that's selfishness....he doesn't respect you....and he doesn't deserve your respect either. Life is already short.....don't waste any more of it on him. Also....nobody is going to make things better for you. You have to take control of your own life....and your health....if you want to see improvements. Don't put all the blame on him for ruining your health....you're playing a role in this as well. And you can choose to take control and stop. Best wishes.
… apparently he needs to talk for a long time with me this week…but WTF !! whats the point now…is this some desi thing…where caus no girlfriends allowed you have to say you love that person as a friend?
…a lot of desi guys are discovering the joys of such an existence i believe …and having allowed him such liberties , why would any guy commit when he can get what he wants without any strings attached !***