On special request, a salute to the creators of the THONG!
I want to discuss the invention of the greatest tool man has ever invented. UNDERWEAR. The name says it all, really. Never was a noun more unequivocal, its function more comprehensively explained. There is, for instance, nothing quite as straightforward about the word chair - we could as easily have called them marshmallows. But underwear, well, there you have it. Garments whose very designation implies their existence - that they’re worn below the surface.
Fashion critics of tight-fitting garments emphasized on the necessity to make underwear as small as possible which mothered the invention of the THONG. The thong, a peculiarly petite piece of apparel enough to cover private parts and enough to expose the pure round shape of a woman’s posterior. I mean seriously, the thong has to be the best invention ever. Better than the wheel, computer, electricity, airplane, light bulb or anything as remotely as useless. That’s how important it is.
Undergarments getting smaller by the day, I can see fashion rebels going all the way by making people wear a leaf and going commando. People with small ahem instruments can wear a chai ka patta. no wait.. chai kee patti ka dana would prove commensurate.
Souvenir thongs at the famous Leicester Square London with captions like:
Feelin Lucky?
I’m in London, so its okay!
Happy Birthday Baby
Raises ones brow.
Only yesterday I was at the Brighton Beach and all I could see were saggy objects dangling from boney shoulders, ugly sight. Anyways, I don’t want to discuss that further as I plan to dedicate a whole thread to one more of man’s greatest inventions, THE BRAZIER!
Low and behold the importance of the underwear. Even Bryan Adams dedicated a song just for the underwear. I wanna be your underwear – Bryan Adams, check it out.
It is truly, mans greatest invention.
