Re: A taboo question for married women
After reading all the threads about in law Problems in the life section, I'm left to wonder...is there any girl Here who actually Gets Along with her in laws? And has a Good Relationship with them? And Actually Considers them Family? Just Curious.
My sister, MashAllah :)
Re: A taboo question for married women
Hareem having disagreement and holding resentment are two different things. When it it is our own mother or father we find it easy to get over stuff and not keep brewing over what mum said yesterday or the day before or last year.
Re: A taboo question for married women
^It goes both ways..
Some mils also give their bahus less leeway than their own kids or expect more from them (eg more cooking or housework than the others)..
Relationships should be about mutual respect, kindness and compromise..
Re: A taboo question for married women
^ you are right it should be about mutual respect and compromise but again this is hardly ever divided 50/50. In my opinion DILs have greater responsibility to try to fit in and accept their in-laws as family. A difficult task for some sure, but in my experience and even here on life1 we have example after example that bahus have created an issue out of every little thing.
Re: A taboo question for married women
^ yeah its only because most of the Mils don't know how to use the computers ....thats y u don't hear about their silly issues with their Dils...
....wait until we become Mils.... :-P
In my opinion DILs have greater responsibility to try to fit in and accept their in-laws as family. A difficult task for some sure, but in my experience and even here on life1 we have example after example that bahus have created an issue out of every little thing.
Is that entirely true though. With my SIL, who moved cities to live nearby; my parents go out of their way to accommodate her in to the family. This was what happened when parents got married too. My fathers opinion is that as an outsider, it is up to the in laws to do their best to accommodate the new member as opposed to the other way round...and personally I agree.
Re: A taboo question for married women
After reading all the threads about in law
Problems in the life section, I'm left to wonder...is there any girl
Here who actually Gets Along with her in laws? And has a Good Relationship with them? And Actually Considers them Family?
Just Curious.
I do get along with my in laws very well Alhumudullilah. Both sides have very practical expectations from each other so the relationships have been good so far.
As far as considering them family is concerned. Heck yes they are family. If I want my husband to treat my family like its his as well, then I have to do the same in return.
Have to admit they are not those typical "get upset with every little thing" people. My father in law tends to be a bit too straight forward at times where he would jokingly end up saying something that will really hurt me but then in a polite indirect way I let him know that he has offended me & once he was talking to my daughter & made fun of my weight, something that really made me upset, that was the only time I gave him a straight up answer of how no one wants to be fat & what was the reason behind my extra weight. This man actually hugged me & apologized for what he had said. Made me respect him even more.
Other than that life is too short to get upset at petty things. In laws are people you have to deal with your whole life no matter what. Best policy is to ignore as many negative things as you can as long as they are not directly affecting your relationship with your spouse or children.