Disclaimer: This is posted upon request of a person who has been following Gupshup for some time and has thorough knowledge of things happening and happened here. I am but a messenger who is conveying this message. I received this in my e-mail and haven’t read it myself either.
Guppies face “A Series of Unfortunate Events”
Author’s Note: If you are easily disturbed by narrations of accidents, bar fights and assorted inanities sprinkled with liberal doses of total BS, then click on the “Back” button right now and save yourself the trouble. Additionally, if you are quick to be offended by unauthorized use of your nick in unfamiliar situations, this is the right time to go back from where you came from (it means to click on the “Back” button, you genius!). Some of the tales narrated here are facts (fingers crossed), some are fiction and the remaining are complete bullsiht. We leave it for you to discern which is which (not a really hard task, though frankly, you never know).
Unfortunate Event #1 – The Arrest
Usually when ak47 boards a flight from New York, he expects a thorough inspection at the security line. But this day was especially worse. First they frisked him, then they opened his luggage, and then they moved him to a side room and stripped him (almost) for further checking. An inspection of his laptop computer revealed unusual activity at a website (they can do that through cookies, you know) and when they read some of his posts on GS, it immediately resulted in his arrest and they began his deportation hearings. Ak47 gave the reference of myvoice to vouch for his character. Upon contact by FBI, myvoice immediately flew to New York. Once myvoice got the presiding judge totally befuddled as to why the founding fathers inserted the First Amendment into the constitution, ak47 was promptly released on bail. The judge was just too pleased to get myvoice off his back.
On their way from the court, ak47 got into one argument too many on Iraq war with myvoice. Not a good move and certainly bad timing. Myvoice promptly turned the car around and deposited ak47 back into custody and reminded the good folks at Immigration Service not to inform ak47 about the Fifth Amendment and replace Miranda rights with Fanta rights. One can always trust myvoice to argue both sides of the same case with equal conviction and persuasion.
Driving to the airport, myvoice was furious with himself for flying all the way to the Big Apple, thereby missing a day he could, instead, have played Blackjack in Bellagio with his white conservative Christian friends. While crossing the bridge from Manhattan en-route to JFK, the rage took over myvoice and he tried to slap himself. For reasons that are still not clear, he raised both hands from the steering wheel to do that resulting in his car careening off the Brooklyn Bridge into the River below.
Luckily two guys were right there in a dingy boat enjoying a day out in snowy conditions. On hearing myvoice’s cries for help from the sinking car, they rushed to his rescue. Turns out they were gay, were gulf-war veterans and members of Teamsters’ Union. All this wasn’t so bad in itself, but the two buggers decided to take advantage of the situation. Before pulling myvoice out of his car and from frozen water, they made him pledge that from that day, and to the day he dies, myvoice will always vote for Democratic Party, will wish people “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” and will start a campaign to bring American troops out of Iraq. As soon as myvoice was deposited on dry land (so to speak), he took a cab and went to JFK, where he had to max-out his MasterCard and pay the $500 deductible for totaling the rental car.
He missed his flight.
now this friggin hilarious, we guys have talent, we can make a full blown movie…it would be such a hit.