a question

Lifestyle Relationships
1

hmm…

i was watching this video on TV yesterday…an arabic song…

the song is basically by a girl…and the video goes like the guy is sitting on the couch and she is trying to console him about something but he’s just being mean to her, making faces n shrugging off her hands and shouting at her etc…

she basically loves the guys but he’s being mean to her…

he is actually a gangster…

the police come in at that moment, and come into the house, point their guns at the guy.

the girl comes in front of the guy to save him.

the police shout and the guy gets nervous and then holds the girl gruffly and points his gun at her and tries to escape using her as hostage.

the police shoot and they both fall down [alive].

the girl is just happy at the fact that she is with the guy so they show in the video that even though theres gunshots n the guy is nervous she closes her eyes n smiles…

then some shooting happens n the police capture the guy and he is taken away…he just has a look of anger on his face…

and the girl is seeing the police car go away n crying weeping…

if u guys remember the role of madhuri in devdas. it was something similar. shahrukh khan never liked her. his first choice was always ash n he loved her till the end. but madhuri still loved him from day one n did everything for him and was sad for ever pain he went thru right?

GIRLS..i have a question for u…i am wondering, r there girls out there that actually do this in real life? qurbaan themselves over someone who doesnt love them back? would u ever want to be in such a position? what do they get? i mean rnt they in total loss and being used? how can that be OK with them?

GUYS…if you were that guy in the video or shahrukh khan * what would ur feelings be abt that girl? would u respect her? i realise it wont be ur fault cuz u cant force urself to like someone…but khayr…ur thoughts?*

2

Madhuri was my favourite character in devdas.

Some girls want what they can't have, and thus are hung out to dry by themselves. Others are just star crossed. It's the latter taht I feel sorry for.

It's not a qurbaani, it's more a game, a smartass kid with a nappy on cupid gets bored too and consequently such love "triangles" arise where its not so much a case triangle as a distorted line.

Sometimes people find themselves in situations that they cannot control, this does not mean they allow it to happen, but that they have to deal with it.

I imagine it must a tragically degrading experiance.
Interesting to think of how an egotist would deal with being in such situations.

3

I wud rather prefer death than being like madhuri or that girl in the video.

And khuda na khasta.. if i happen to fall in love with such a guy or get caught in a bloody love triangle.. I won't let anyone know about it( not even my friends and not even the guy himself) My ego won't ever allow me to do so.

4

I could never respect a girl like that - she clearly doesn't respect herself. Plus that kind of behaviour, unrequited love, is kind of unsettling, because a woman with those kind of emotional issues can act even more irrationally than women normally do, in fact gaining the potential to be dangerous.

5

silly song/video :)

but to anwser your q, have to agree with mads,
but I have to say, the guy s beeing a pain aswell, he should tell her in a nice way to piss off, whaty clearly cant do :)

6

I've known girls like that, they will go after guys that have no interest in them and dont treat them well when they are around them. It could be a variety of reasons. It could be an ego issue. Some people dont handle "no" well, or are blind to signs that a person isnt interested. So a fantasy world is created in the mind and acted out accordingly. Perhaps some believe a guy is simply playing hard to get. And some believe in the unrequited romantic notion, heedless of the fact its unhealthy for them to do so. I've seen some friends "used" by the guy because of this, and even guys being used by girls for the same reason. Some people never give up on this quest unless something happens that just ends it (usually the other person walking away), and still they wont admit to themselves what has happened. It's more common than you would think.

I think self-esteem and insecurity are underlying issues in these cases.

7

True. Some people just like to hope against hope, believing in miracles or are just in denial. Better not to chase shadows. The situation is by no means enviable.

8

Personally, I find it hard to respect such girls. I mean, I will empathize with them if they guy treats them like crap 3 or 4 times and the girl keeps forgiving him. However, I have seen situations where it is a never ending cycle and the girl knows it! They just stay in the situation cause they are unable to walk away ... unable to face reality ... unable to see that there is no future with the guy. The whole world can beg the girl to wake up and see reality ... but she will refuse to and will want sympathy from others (at least, the one I knew wanted everyone to feel sorry for her). I find it hard to feel pity for such people.

Shahrukh Khan in the movie Devdas ... I felt no sympathy for him at all.

9

I was mad at him too :mad: Dumb idiot!

10

I think he got what he deserved. He shouldn't have abandoned Aish's character when she needed him the most. What right did he have to cry about it afterwards then? He's the one who left her!! loser

11

There would be strong urge to use that girl as long as she is in this delusional love state. After that,…noone knows :hehe:

12

I haven’t seen the video but it sounds awefully delusional and chauvenistic. It’s one thing if the girl loved him and he loved her in return but was mad at her momentarily. However, as soon as you start bringing–guns, abuse of any sort, and making a life sacrifice for a person who doesn’t give a siht–into the picture, I think it sets a very bad image for women.

I definitely think all women care alot more when it comes to the opposite sex whether they admit it or not. Some are just more vocal about it and are confident about the situation, therefore not wanting to hide reality from the world while others prefer to keep everything inside. I think it has nothing to do with a woman being insecure whatsoever. When things go bad in a relationship, women often find themselves questioning their own motives and concerns, not realizing that the good-for-nothing guy is having a great time feeding off of this very reaction. Although the woman knows full well deep inside how much better off she is without such a fool in her life, she mourns as this is her way of coping with the situation. She also persists in her quest for trying to identify what went wrong. For some women, until they find closure/sense of finality, they are never satisfied and continue to mourn their “loss” (which is actually their gain, considering the type of guys in discussion who behave like such jerks). If the woman is smart, has notions of dignity and self-respect, at some point soon, she will pick herself back up mentally and continue with life hoping for a better relationship in the future which she will surely have if she is patient. If she is deserving of it, Allah mian will ensure that her wishes are fulfilled.

In my sincere view, men who are abusive and/or treat women like doormats in any way, shape, or form hold these women back from pursuing their goals and reaching their full potential, and in my opinion, no man (NO man) is worth that. Also, as I see it, men are good for marriage, baby-making, and companionship but until that point in time when the woman begins to seriously search for a marriage partner, she is much better off without playing around. It’s a waste of time rather than pursuing more productive activities such as school/career. In cases of abuse, as the saying goes, it is better to be with no man than a jerk.

:flower1:

13

ew disgraceful

that is so pathetic

wheres the womans sense of self respect??

14

Y'all need to stop watching these crappy indian movies, they over romanticize real relationships thereby giving all our young folk the illusion that marriage and relationships are all song and dance and happy happy joy joy.

I don't watch indian movies PERIOD, however, someone I know insisted that I watch Dev Das. After about 35 minutes, I had to stop, it was HORRIBLE, so drawn out, so over dramatic, so cheesy.

The only thing I liked was the girls mother when she goes off on the guys mother at a party, she was bad ass!

15

:k:

Too true

:k:

16

my brother's gf was like that..
she really didnt care how he liked her.. she was too much in love.

I dont think girls in this situation really like the guy.. I think they are in love with the Idea of being in love..

17

I sure hope the gf wasn't an Indian.

18

Pakistani Muslim

19

Mashallah

20

thanks a lot all for sharing ur views :)