The question is simple. Why are desi girls or women insecure. I am not talking about body image or weight all women are like that. But i have noticed that desi women arent confident. They are hesitant, not sure of what they want and generally insecure about any decision they make.
Now this can be taken in all walks of life. I dont specifically mean “relationships” as the forum is called. But generally i find desi women very lacking in self-confidence and the ability to trust in their own judgement compared to women from other races and regions. Of course there are exceptions.
im the opposite of what uv said above. im an exception:snooty:
i guess some desis are like tht because they are brought up tht way…most of there decisions are made by male members of the family so when they come to doing it themselves they are not sure if its the right one…because they have been dependant on others to do all the thinking for them they are not sure if they are capable of making the right decision & then they do have to think alot about how their decisions will affect the lives of the ppl around them unlike women from other races who really dont give a damn about what affects their decisions will have on others as long as they are happy But then again…i think now most desi women are very confident and know what they want.
The reason i ask this is because i haev a few desi female friends here. The desi population is extremely limited, unfortunately, but i have noticed, that out of the 4 girls, 1 has a healthy dosage of confidence. But the other 3 are extremely insecure or under-confident.
Ask them what they want to do, they say you decide. Ask them if they wanna watch a movie, you decide. Heck you ask them if they are hungry they say you decide. Ok extreme examples, but that is just it. I am not talking about life changing things. But simple things that shows whether a person really knows what they want or know what they are doing.
Lets expand on this. Desi women "let" or are forced to "let" others decide for them. These are usually men or the mother. Do you think this is a cultural thing, or just men being dominating. Do you agree or not, secondly something related to this, women being for the lack of a better word subservient to men.
Also desi women worry a whole damn lot. I mean unhealthy worrying. Again why is that. Ok all women cant decide. It is also a generalization that all women worry a lot. But it seems that desi women are in the extreme in both cases.
Yes i am trying to do the impossible and understand women.
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Lets expand on this. Desi women "let" or are forced to "let" others decide for them. These are usually men or the mother. Do you think this is a cultural thing, or just men being dominating. Do you agree or not, secondly something related to this, women being for the lack of a better word subservient to men.
Also desi women worry a whole damn lot. I mean unhealthy worrying. Again why is that. Ok all women cant decide. It is also a generalization that all women worry a lot. But it seems that desi women are in the extreme in both cases.
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in our culture men have always been dominating...mostly they earn, they are the head of the family,so they make the decisions...its like they know best what the women of the family should do. i think in some cases women dont notice or realize that they cant make decisions themselves because women around them i-e their sisters or mothers or other women in the family dont make decisions themselves, they have to have a male to help them...this results in them having to look for someone when they need to make a decision. a while back or even now in some cases women might be subservient to men but i think that does not apply to most women today.
about the worrying bit, i'll just point out one reason, desi families are very tightly knit, so desi women have to think about how their decisions will affect their families.
You will never understand a woman by knowing why they feel insecure! They are way more complicated then that :D
There is more then just one reason behind the insecure feelings of any women. All of them face different challenges and in the consequence they lose their confidence. It’s more of a cultural thing, the way they are brought up. They have to be careful about what others might think of them. Like Punjabi kuri said, in some cases their parents make decisions so that their children don’t do anything which is wrong or unhealthy for them, either ways, someone is always protecting them. Women always tend to keep this shell around them, they never really do what they want to do, they do what they are supposed to do.
So when it comes to decision making and practical life, they don’t know what they want. Btw I have seen plenty of guys as well who can't make their own decisions and seek guidance from others. i myself have seen only the extremes, just what I observed....
Its due to lack of exposure, sometimes schooling (as in my case ) and a lot of other factors that are more prevelent in desi socities as compared to Western.
Hmmm .. all of this insecurity and lack of confidence can be attributed to the male dominance in the desi society. PK has already stated this point.
Woman in our society is always under the command of the head of the family .. that is .. the man of the family. In the childhood, it is the parents who make decisions..and after marriage it is the husband and the in-laws. She is expected to nod her head to whatever the decision maker says.
But .. the times are changing now, with desi women getting better education and holding jobs .. they are becoming more confident and secure.
I am absolutely terrible in decision making. Mostly because a majority of decisions in my life were made by my family members, from what I wore (even to this day), to how I do my hair, how I talk to people, etc. I've managed to become more self-confident and make more decisions now, but its taken time, and theres still a long way to go. smile
It isn’t just desi societies. Most girls from male-dominated cultures and societies tend to be raised like this. There are some European cultures also like this that teach girls to remain passive. Then you have socieites like Indonesia which teach and encourage girls to be independent.
I pretty much agree with Punjabi Kuri and Chandbeti on this one. :k:
tru abt the cultural impact, it seems to make the desi women less confident, the most annoying thing is that if a girl makes decisions on her own ppl r shocked
its obviously a deeper issue and probably different for every person but the root of the problem is the same
Yes, I agre, it's the culture. If a girl knows what she wants and she goes for it, she's considered too 'free'. Girls aren't supposed to have opinions, you're not supposed to notice them in the room, they have to be silent and always obey. A lot is chagning today, but we're still in the beginning. In everyday life, it's still this way.
I think men have created this attitude. No t allowing women tomake decisions often and now it's a part of culture. No matter how you look at it, we have a male dominated culture, where often the males misuse their power. This position of women is so convenient and easy for men!
They key word here is the forcefully created Male dominance!
A guy living in Pak can abuse, torture or treat his wife cruelly and not be questioned bcz of our male dominated society…neither will the women utter a word bcz she knows that her sanity or well being is not secure in such a society
But the same man will think twice about doing that if he lives in a country such as US where male dominance has not reached its extremes and women can voice their rights!
men want their Girls to be outrageous, bold n funloving..but the wife they desire should be passive and flexable to their man’s orders
But as the edu & literacy rate increases, u’ll find that the situation will change even in countries like Pakistan & India ..and it has to an extent!
Also sumtimes, when Desi girls dont voice there thoughts or opinions in front of others (mainly elders) is bcz of the diferent degrees of respect they are taught…and ar usually mistaken as unconfident by outsiders.
) and a lot of other factors that are more prevelent in desi socities as compared to Western. 
:k: