Could you lose any feelings you have for someone if they just let themselves go in terms of hygiene, weight, etc?
I know everyone has their bad days and goes through phases, but I’m talking about when someone seems to completely lose interest in taking care of themselves and they get lazy. They gain a ton of weight, and they stop taking care of their hygiene, etc.
Wouldn’t that put you off of them somewhat?
Even if you were genuinely in love with them, and you loved them for who they are (personality), if you start to find them so unattractive or they gross you out, wouldn’t it affect how you feel towards them?
Well, weight doesn't matter to me much but in case of hygiene, it depends on few factors.
In case of any close relative, if it is not in the control of the person (like due to a disease..etc) than It wouldn't effect my interaction or love for them.
In case if anyone is not taking care of his/her hygiene intentionally and start to smell very bad, It wouldn't still effect my relation/love for them, but I would keep a certain distance to avoid bad smell.
The only exception would be my parents in terms of their hygiene or any other problem in old age (Allah forbid). I wouldn't keep any distance because they tolerated me in my childhood in their own bed when I didn't even know the meaning of hygiene and used to disturb their sleep all night, by making the bed dirty.
** Even if you were genuinely in love with them**, and you loved them for who they are (personality), if you start to find them so unattractive or they gross you out, wouldn't it affect how you feel towards them?
you are contradicting over here urself.
Tell me one thing - If you love and care for someone GENUINELY then y would it will put u off so easily? Wouldnt you want to know that y all of a sudden that same person is not caring about him/herself? Wouldn't you try to bring back the old person b/c this change all of a sudden usually indicates some kind of stress they r keeping inside of themselves. Wouldn't you want to help them to release their stress??
If I loved n cared for someone GENUINELY, then Im sure I would have done what I have mentioned above. I wouldnt have stepped back only b/c the person all of a sudden start losing interest in his life n all.
Tell me one thing - If you love and care for someone GENUINELY then y would it will put u off so easily? Wouldnt you want to know that y all of a sudden that same person is not caring about him/herself? Wouldn't you try to bring back the old person b/c this change all of a sudden usually indicates some kind of stress they r keeping inside of themselves. Wouldn't you want to help them to release their stress??
If I loved n cared for someone GENUINELY, then Im sure I would have done what I have mentioned above. I wouldnt have stepped back only b/c the person all of a sudden start losing interest in his life n all.
Very well said, Evilz. I totally agree and have similar approach.
The worst thing most of my friends did when I lost my father, was to stop being friends because they didnt know how to handle my way of grief. Hell had a new meaning to me.... I missed him insanely, still do even now.
A person acting that way, has serious issues going on. It sounds as major depression or even psychosis.....the last category neglects hygiene and loose personal interest. Unless, someone tells them whats going on with them...they are not going to at times deal with it or realize it. And giving up on people is too easy to do. ( It should not be the ways of Muslims )
Though I understand that even when a person is intentionally NOT careful in his hygiene one should not change his interaction with him. But in certain cases it is not possible to keep your interaction the same.
One of my ex-hostal mate used to come to my room frequently during winters and discuss matters with me. But in summer when he used to come there used to be an intense smell in my room, which would prevent other people to enter my room (during his presence). People used to openly tell him to take shower regularly which he didn't ( for some unknown reasons)
Now ofcourse I can't straight away ask him to leave (or to take shower) while he was making life difficult for people who come to my room. What I could do is to gift him a perfume on some occasion or make some excuse for going somewhere. I should have frankly talk to him (like I used to do)but if I don't breath I would kill myself. (which is also not allowed)
Though I do understand that it depends alot on your relationship with the person and we must use hikmah in conveying the message without hurting the feelings of the person.
If we pray to Allah for wisdom we would be able to help our relatives in an appropriate manner if they are harming you or themselves without being aware of their mistake.
For example
How a person should tell his spouse one the first morning of his marriage that his/her spouse had put on himself/herself so much perfume on their first night that he was not able to breath all night...(and if it happened again, he might have to go to doctor due to head ache)
Could you lose any feelings you have for someone if they just let themselves go in terms of hygiene, weight, etc?
I know everyone has their bad days and goes through phases, but I'm talking about when someone seems to completely lose interest in taking care of themselves and they get lazy. They gain a ton of weight, and they stop taking care of their hygiene, etc.
Wouldn't that put you off of them somewhat?
Even if you were genuinely in love with them, and you loved them for who they are (personality), if you start to find them so unattractive or they gross you out, wouldn't it affect how you feel towards them?
Nazoo if you are talking about a spouse and then their lack of taking care of themselves for the other spouse ..Then yes it does matter.It just means that the spouse who is behaving that way may have the mantality that the cats in the bag now...lets let loose...:D..basically meaning that they know they have you now and they can let their hair down.You guys need to have a serious talk and it is better to bring this out in the open as it is affecting you personally. Its always a good idea to follow this through with example:)..
Could you lose any feelings you have for someone if they just let themselves go in terms of hygiene, weight, etc?
I know everyone has their bad days and goes through phases, but I'm talking about when someone seems to completely lose interest in taking care of themselves and they get lazy. They gain a ton of weight, and they stop taking care of their hygiene, etc.
Wouldn't that put you off of them somewhat?
Even if you were genuinely in love with them, and you loved them for who they are (personality), if you start to find them so unattractive or they gross you out, wouldn't it affect how you feel towards them?
if they just let themselves go in terms of hygiene, weight, etc?. that person is teling me that he/she does not care abut himself/herslf anymore. If that person does not, it is only fair for me to stop caring about that person and reduce my interaction.
If he/she ever ask, I will politely let him/her know
