Salaam Everyone -
I need all the parental support I can get right now. I’m really struggling with my 22 month old son on a number of things.
The first and worst problem is his hitting people.
He will straight slap people and throw things that arent working his way.
So far I’ve tried:
Ignoring him, he’ll continue to hit
holding his hands back and he bashes his head into places
the bad boy chair, he’ll sit here as long as you tell him to and cry himself to a bumbling mess but will get off the chair and continue to hit the same person again.
He’s incredibly ziddi - to the point that it makes me wanna cry! Literally.
The 2nd problem is his sleeping habits; he still needs someone to put him to bed in our laps. We’ve tried it all, gave him his own big boy bed, his favorite characters on his bedsheets sat next to him but he will stay up all night if need be. And most nights he’ll get off his bed and crawl into bed with us. Which is bad enough but that leads me to my 3rd problem - the boy scratches me to the point that I’ve got scars permanently. IS this a deficency or something? He always needs physical contact even (especially) in his sleep.
The hitting part is very common with boys this age. I have seen it with my friends kids and eventually they grow of it. Be consistent with your discipline though.
Also, my friend told me that her son was consuming too many sugary foods such as juices, candy etc... and when she took him off he calmed down a bit. I don't know if that's the case with your son, but if it is, try it.
Before bedtime, give him a bath. Try the Johnson's lavendar calming bath. Then lay down with him...I'm not into the strict "let the kid learn how to fall asleep by themselves theory." Physical contact helps give the child security. At least that's what I think. Once he falls asleep, put him on his bed. Make sure his tummy is full before going to bed. A lot of kids have disturbed sleep if they are hungry. This happened with my daughter A LOT and we've finally been able to establish a good bedtime routine.
Now the stubborness part is again a typical presentation of a curious and busy child. They are learning about their environment and themselves. Some kids are cool while some are aggressive. Each child is different and they all have their phases.
Hitting is no. Just no. He's almost 2 so he should get 2 minutes in a time-out corner or chair each and every time he hits someone. Set a timer, one of those big ones that he can see and tell him that he WILL sit quietly for 2 minutes. If he gets up, cries or complains, re-set the timer. You may spend 5 hours orso for the first few times but he'll get the idea quickly.
As far as sleeping...Ican really relate. My eldesst has sensory issues and while this is very common in kids on the autism spectrum, kids who are "typically developing" can also share this type of experience. Things like they cannot walk outside barefoot, MUST have socks on. Cant fall asleep without a warm bodyto snuggle up to. We let eldest fall asleep either with us or with one of his brothers. Move him to his own bed later on. It almost never fails that he wales up and wanders to our bed, most of the time he's not even aware that he's doing it. Its just something that be needs. So what to do? We just deal with it, let him snuggle in.
jaan leva, if you live in the U S of A (or prob any western country), that approach will result in Child Protective Services knocking at yer door asking about your questionable parenting abilities.
Aside from that, when a child hits and you hit them back, its teaching them that the strongest hitter wins. This may be fine when "BamBam" is 2 years old but what about when they're 16 and want-what-they-want???
2 years old certainly can understand NO. AND time outs and re-setting the timer. If the desired end result is a child that doesnt hit others, this is the way to go.
jaan leva needs to have a few babies to understand that mama :)
i agree with mama's techniques and niksik...
my son isnt quite there yet and im already havinga hard time setting boundries... where do these stubborn kids crop up from is beyond me man... honestly
so im glad u asked this q... reading replies with full interest
jaan leva, if you live in the U S of A (or prob any western country), that approach will result in Child Protective Services knocking at yer door asking about your questionable parenting abilities.
Aside from that, when a child hits and you hit them back, its teaching them that the strongest hitter wins. This may be fine when "BamBam" is 2 years old but what about when they're 16 and want-what-they-want???
2 years old certainly can understand NO. AND time outs and re-setting the timer. If the desired end result is a child that doesnt hit others, this is the way to go.
So, now a smack on the ass is a questionable parenting ability? Its THE parenting ability known to man that WORKS.
Scumming to your childs misbehaviour is what? A child must have some fear of his/her parents and elders otherwise they will talk back at you, hit others (as is in this case) and maybe in future hit you as well.
Maybe you gave birth to angels, but rest of us give birth to humans and humans by nature need conditioning be it with love or punishment in form of slap on the ass.
Salaam Everyone -
I need all the parental support I can get right now. I'm really struggling with my 22 month old son on a number of things.
The first and worst problem is his hitting people.
He will straight slap people and throw things that arent working his way.
So far I've tried:
Ignoring him, he'll continue to hit
holding his hands back and he bashes his head into places
the bad boy chair, he'll sit here as long as you tell him to and cry himself to a bumbling mess but will get off the chair and continue to hit the same person again.
He's incredibly ziddi - to the point that it makes me wanna cry! Literally.
The 2nd problem is his sleeping habits; he still needs someone to put him to bed in our laps. We've tried it all, gave him his own big boy bed, his favorite characters on his bedsheets sat next to him but he will stay up all night if need be. And most nights he'll get off his bed and crawl into bed with us. Which is bad enough but that leads me to my 3rd problem - the boy scratches me to the point that I've got scars permanently. IS this a deficency or something? He always needs physical contact even (especially) in his sleep.
Hitting problem my son had that but not now.He has grown out of it but we had to work a lot with him. First we gave him time outs which is necessary .He will give you hard time by screaming,banging head but when he will see that no one is listening he will not do it anymore.Second we taught him "hands are for helping ;not hurting" .Another solution which is not so good but anyways is that buy him punching bag so he can hit bat many time on punching bag and let his frustration out. But tell him people get hurt don't hit them it hurts mommy,daddy everyone.Mainly in our case "hands are for helping;not hurting" thing work. But trust me you need to have a heart and keep telling them patiently please don't hurt it hurts mummy.
For sleep I think he feels insecure and its totally normal they will stop coming when they will be 4 or 5. He is just 2 years old.Just give him bath before bed, read him story and lay down next to him until he sleeps.Children at this age feels comfortable when they are closer to their mommies and feel secure.May be some dream is bothering them that's why they come.One thing you can do is whenever he comes you or your husband goes back with him in his bed and put him back to sleep; after doing this for 2,3 months they will get in a habit to sleep in their bed for whole night.
As far as sleep issue, its with most kids and will go away with time?
My son, he is almost 5, no matter where you put him to sleep... downstairs, upstairs. He comes to our bed at the same time at night. We set his room up, etc. but still he ends up on the bed around 5 in the morning, even when he is in the same room!!!
Thanks everyone some really good pieces of advice.
A followup question for the time out routine; now he hits someone gets a time out and stays put for the time out session but will revert back to hitting - am I to put him in a time out again? We literally did this an entireeee evening and in the end I gave up.. or rather his grandafather took him out to play to distract him.
Also LOVE the 'hands are for helping- not hurting idea" can you elaborate on that?
Seems like I shouldnt worry so much about the sleeping issues.
and its not just boys... my munchkin would hit too out of frustration. For instance if another kid just wasnt cooperating, they would get hit... i know bad, but it stopped once we got on top of the reason behind the hitting.
If he's hitting you, maybe try explaining to him how to "be nice". I copped a few hits, that were meant to be playful type of hitting, but ofcourse it hurt.. so i would get her hand and show her how to touch nicely.
And about the sleeping... dont stress too much. Mine is 3.5, has been in her own room since 7 months, but still has to be patted to sleep.. or needs someone next to her before she nods off. At kinder, completely opposite. Give her the mat, and the tiny blanket and she's fast asleep in seconds.
i'm going through similar issues so am really interested in the responses of mom's who have been through it.
my son will lash out or hit things when he is upset, he's hurt himself and there is no one to blame or will hit the person coming to comfort him even if they were on the other side of the room when he hurt himself.
sleeping can be an issue with us
if he has had a busy day and eaten properly then he'll fall asleep on his own, if it's been a slow day it can take an hour or more of my sitting in the room with him getting him to sleep i even put Quran tilawat on sometimes which can help when he is not relaxing.
he'll wake up and want to get into our bed aswell then wants us to be facing him he literally grabs my husband by the chin to turn my husbands face towards him.
he likes the comfort of holding onto us as we sleep
partkly my fault i used to fall asleep while feeding him when he was younger but it is in his nature too.
The hitting part is very common with boys this age. I have seen it with my friends kids and eventually they grow of it. Be consistent with your discipline though.
Also, my friend told me that her son was consuming too many sugary foods such as juices, candy etc... and when she took him off he calmed down a bit. I don't know if that's the case with your son, but if it is, try it.
This is something I have practically seen. I know someone who as a child use to drink alot of sugary drinks and high sugar content food and he was just so so hyper. This could be a reason.