A perfect understanding ..

Lifestyle Relationships
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What are the things that your spouse does for you that enhances understanding between the two of you?

I particularly want a male perspective on this. I want to know what you expect and what actions of your wives do you guys really appreciate?

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

I can tell you that most men would rather have their wives tell them exactly what bothers them instead of sulking and saying what they don't mean. Sulking and stonewalling may seem peaceful on the outside but it is very damaging. Wives who do this all the time will have their husbands thinking that everything is good when there is actually a sh!tstorm brewing inside her. I did this and realized all that did was change how I felt about him as a person while he had no clue about what was going on in my head. I was imagining scenarios one after another - making everything 100 times worse than it actually was

You and your significant other may be close enough to finish each other's sentences but he still can't read your mind.

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

^
This

I (will) appreciate her to be telling me what she wants instead of letting me guess all the time.

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

She never ever nags me. Previously when I was with Dianne, I had to account for all the time, money and activities I did. Last week I went out and spent 85K on a vehicle for the camping trip and the sales girl was kind of shocked that I was buying it without my wife, next day I took her over to see the SUV and the sales girl asked my wife, if she was okay with me making the decision by myself, and she said absolutely and laughed. Secondly she never fights fire with fire and I feel like an ass after, you feel worse if you were a jerk and she wouldn't respond in kind.

Biggest of all, I hardly ever make requests but she has never ever refused any of my requests. Also the fact that she is an amazingly loving mother to our kids. Lastly mother was very hard on her and she never accepted her and I had told her that she does not have to take the abuse and she said that looking after elderly is a pleasure for her and she would just laugh off all her remarks. She was with my mother loving and caring for her till the end while none of my sisters came to help

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

ahh..........................

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

So the highlight of this story is that you spent 85k in one day on an SUV and that you saved her from the cruel world. There is always something that gives you away.

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Easy come easy go, there have been days when I lost my shirt in the stock market now I spend to enjoy my life, where was the me saving her part, it is she saving me is the way I see it.

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

No such thing as perfect understanding. At the end of the day you're both just two human beings trying to get along unless one of you got a magical way to read mind :p

IMO, a good understanding is only created when both parties work together to enhance it. The couples who do get close to having a good understanding have usually spend hard time getting there. As always I will say open and honest communication is the way forward.

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Bwahahahahahaha

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

I don't think there will be perfect understanding in this relationship .but there is understanding on many things.I see many couples who don't have any understanding but still they are living happily. So just enjoy each other differences because marriage is falling. In love with same person.if there will be perfect understanding so couples will not think of divorce.

I want to ask one question from all of u like u all said in one thread that mostly people compromises becoz of their kids. One who dont have kids what they do?

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cancerian, frankly those who dont have any kids, I have four couples around me and they seem to be faring so much better in terms of understanding .. but then all of them have over 15 years of shadi experience. So I dont know if they all too went through this rough patch :hmmm:

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

Yeah I'm sure they also went thru I also know a couple who have been married for 12 years and they have great understanding. I agree with u they have more understanding as compare to other couple who has kids.but this all take time. Married life is not easy so hard and sweet both situation will come but with time both will understand each other and share with each other.my husband don't share anything with me Like if he stress or something so I just give him some space .I ask many times to share with me he said he don't wana give any tension to me. I'm ok with it because as time pass he will share.so just give some space and do your duty dont argue INSHALLAH all will be fine. :)

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Re: A perfect understanding ..

I think observing your partner and what THEY like/want versus what you think they should like or want is important. Sometimes we just assume that marriage means sacrifice but is a sacrifice necessary?