Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
The cooking is the most fun, in my opinion :@:
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
I cook and put things away and all that, but I agree, I'm not doing toilets and floors. The cleaning service comes twice a month and does the whole house. Makes life a lot easier, and with both of us working, it's only fair.
This is probably a point for a separate thread, but I really feel that life on this earth is precious and that my time here is worth more than my money. So if spending a bit on a cleaning service is going to give me a more relaxed attitude and more time to spend with friends and family, it's more than worth it.
Mirch: Thanks :D Definitely the husband's side can be very unreasonable, and I am not making any excuses for them. But how do women expect things to magically change if they and their families are not willing to stand up and speak their mind BEFORE making commitments. Be open about your needs and expectations.
Pinks: I think you're right about the parents. Too many of them send the girls off to inappropriate marriages because of a fear of gossip and reputation. Well, you know what, parents CAN be wrong, and they can fall prey to bad influences. So make sure you discuss these things, and that every decision is one that you yourself agree with. It is not right to give up the power of decision-making to others. It's cowardly.
Sara: I agree, those things may not require training, but it's not just habit -- it's practice. There is an element of skill required in managing all of these tasks when you own and run a home. It's not easy and it can become overwhelming.
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
so true Sahar!! Free will does not have a gender!! I really really hope parents see that they are earning a load of gunnah by denying the rightful..and "RATIONAL" decisions of their children.
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
Yes, and it's important that daughters speak their mind up front. It is unfair to afterwords start complaining and whining and backbiting because of something that you initially remained silent about.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
I never understood why girls are forced into marriages from someone back home?? I am so glad mashallah that my mum never once forced me or my sister into marrying someone. Although, I had a love marriage and my sister didnot. She eventually had to understand that it was my life and I was the one who was getting married so it did take abit of persuading from my end. But in the end everything worked out fine mashallah. Although, I know that my mum does think that I could have got someone better in terms of job, money etc, but these things dont matter to me if you love someone. I have also got my own independence studying and choosing to have a career whilst having a family.. Mashallah, we are happy and my mum is also happy now:)
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
Come on girl stop bashing Pakistani men. We are not the ones who started all that crap. Even Plato thought that women are equal to slaves. Don’t trust me? … Go read. 
But me more like Aristotle. Equal but weak. Treat them equally like men and they might be more productive 
running out
if you dont have anything good to say then dont say anything at all, just keep your mouth SHUT!
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
^ lol
no one's bashing men and you know it, namaan. now keep running :p
sahar, excellent post/topic! i completely agree- girls do need to take responsibility for their own lives and make good decisions for themselves. but having been in a position where i took responsibility and saw the consequences, i can also say how difficult it is. i was lucky because i had extended family support before my parents came around, and i was lucky that they did come around because AH they are educated and know better, but for those girls who don't, you have to be very very very strong- and i can't imagine being in a position like that where you have no outs.
at least i had options living in north america. those girls that live in pakistan have none- if your family doesn't support you, what do you do? so eventually they bow to pressure (and the pressure can be immense, because frightened/stubborn parents will do and say a lot more than you would ever imagine from them), and then, sadly, the cycle begins all over again with their own daughters.
at some point, i think all of us ladies who will one day be young moms, or who are moms already, need to step up too and train our daughters to be vocal and strong, and support our daughters, even if their fathers and the rest of the family/society might frown upon it. if you never give girls the option of making their own decisions, or even thinking its their right to do so, they're just never going to accept it as a possibility.
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
Parents prepare the future lives of their daughters. If parents are not putting enough efforts in educating their daughters, they are preparing them to be housewives. Being housewife is a job like any other job and like all jobs, it has responsibilities. For many, taking care of the house is part of a housewife's job. Off course, you can always find better ways to utilize your life than to clean the house and cook food. Similarly, people on job who spend 8 to 12 hrs a day on their jobs can find better ways to utilize their lives instead of meeting deadlines, etc.
Girls, with the help of their parents, should make a decision early in their lives what they want to do in their future. Doing nothing or becoming princesses is not an option. But then you might just get lucky!
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
been there- done that
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
Niyal! Long time. Once we used to have similar number of posts!!
Re: A notice to all single women and their parents
:D ramazan mubarik .
How are you :) me doing great
good to see you around .