A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

[Shaheed-e-Arzoo]

*Originally posted by Shaheed-e-Arzoo: *
Remember the famous story from the Sunnah of the prophet :saw: when a blind sahabi came and an ummul momineen did not cover her face because sahabi was blind, the golden words of the apostle were He was blind but you are not.

says volumes!

*Originally posted by kewlsolara: *

and yess for 90% of muslims, religion was only meant for the women. (bloody crap)

I just realized that I am from Mars and I speak Venusha

[blushing_vision]

:p

[pheeno]

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by waqas72: *
ok this has got to be one of the funniest posts on gupshup since um the last time irem posted something.

Oh and look who's agreeing with all this crap!? lol

Gimmie a @)*#ing break!

Whoever wrote this has her freaking hijab on too tight or I bet his bukra beard has gone out of wack!! Has it ever occured to you that most of BS that is commonly passed off as 'Islam' is in fact reasons and justification to completely control women and make them 100% subservient and dependent on men.

Now does this sound like something Allah would want to enforce or some typical chauvinistic insecure male???

Looking, talking, befriending or even thinking about a member of the opposite gender does not lead to sex. That is so completely @$(@#($ed up! Again the whole guilt trip and blame is being put on the woman they way this is written. It's all about control!

The only people who are this screwed up and should worry about this sort of thing are those that are so sexually repressed and can't function in any society anywhere anyhow. Such people should just go lock themselves in their closet til judgement day!

God gave you a mind... use it!

As far as women being so irresistible!? ha what a load of crap! You women are so full of yourself and it's what you all want to believe.

Men are freaking idiots and not too picky either! If there are no women around they'll go and screw every and anything else they can find anyhow! And if you don't believe this go to your local farm or prison and check out the action there! lol
[/QUOTE]

LOL this is so funny. I have tears in my eyes now. Really well said!

[MyStiCaL_MisS]

*Originally posted by MehnazQ: *
What is the rule, if there is any, for interaction between boys and girls online?

Interaction between Men and Women on the Internet – Some Guidelines
by: Sheikh Salman al-Oadah

There are many interactive forums on the Internet, including chat sites and online communities. We need to address the critical question of how Muslim men and women should conduct themselves when they come into contact with one another while participating in these forums.

The following guidelines should be observed by Muslim men and women when interacting with one another on the Internet:

1. Never display photographs under any circumstances.

To start with, photographs are simply not necessary. The written word is more than sufficient. We must also appreciate how photographs can become a great opportunity for Satan to tempt people and make their foul deeds seem fair to them.

Some people might consider such caution misplaced. However, those who understand how people are seduced and tempted and who have experience in dealing with these problems, know that nothing is far-fetched. Moreover, some people who have a sickness in their hearts manage to deceive themselves and others that something which is completely wrong is instead something that is good and that is motivated by the sincerest and noblest intentions.

2. Use typing and avoid audible means of communication.

If, for some reason, using audible media becomes necessary, then we must adhere to Allah’s command: “Be not too complaisant of speech, lest one in whose heart is a disease should be moved with desire; but speak a speech that is just.” Sûrah al-Ahzâb : 32]

This verse was revealed concerning the wives of the Prophet (peace be upon him). If this was the case for them, we can appreciate how much more it must apply to us. Moreover, that was during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) while we are living in the age of permissiveness and promiscuity.

3. Maintain a serious tone and focus in conversation.

We must not get involved in talking at length about things that are unnecessary and unjustified. In truth, many people get a thrill out of merely speaking with the opposite sex, regardless of what the subject might be. Some men just like to hear a pretty voice. Likewise, since women are indeed the full sisters of men, they also find pleasure in speaking with men.

Our tone should be serious. We should avoid all that is superfluous and frivolous.

4. Remain vigilant at all times.

Those who we meet on the Internet are, for the most part, apparitions. Men come online posturing as women and women often misrepresent themselves as men. Then, there are so many things we do not know about the other person. What is his ideology? What is his background? What country is he from? What is his line of work? What are his real intentions? All of these things are unknown.

I wish to call the attention of our honored sisters to the dangers that experience has shown us to be ever present in these situations. Many young women are quick to believe what others tell them and are very susceptible to sweet words. Such people are easy victims for the predator who lays out his trap. One moment, he is a sincere advisor, another the victim crying out for someone to save him, then he is the lonely man looking for someone with whom to share the rest of his life, the next moment he is the sick man looking for a cure…

5. Muslim women who work with the Internet should keep in close contact with one another.

They need to develop strong channels of communication so they can lend a degree of support to each other in this important and possibly dangerous field of endeavor. They need to cooperate closely and share their experiences and expertise. A person standing alone is weak, but standing with others she is strong.

Allah says:* “By time! Surely the human being is at loss. Except for those who have faith and do righteous deeds and exhort one another to truth and exhort one another to patience.” Sûrah al-`Asr ]*

Abû Mulaykah al-Dârimî narrates: “It was the practice among the Prophet’s Companions, that if two of them met, they would not depart from one another without one of them reading Sûrah al-Asr* to the other. Then one of them would greet the other with peace.” * al-Mujam al-Awsat (5120) and Shu`ab al-Îm ân (9057)]

I also advise our Muslim sisters to focus most of their attention and their efforts on calling other women to Islam and enjoining them to righteousness. They should use this valuable medium to assist and serve their sisters and to reform them. This should be done indirectly, subtly, and with wisdom. Too direct an approach, when giving advice, often causes the other party to become angry, confrontational, and obstinate. This is because the person giving advice comes off as seeming high-handed and arrogant, while the one being advised feels shamed and belittled. Therefore, be gentle in your choice of words, good-natured, attentive, and forbearing. This makes the receiving party more conductive to receiving your advice and less likely to spurn it.

From

May allah guide us all. Amin.

[system]

^ hahahahahahahahah

Use typing but avoid audible means of communication.

[Muslim_Queen]

I think that whether its in person, over the phone, or on the net - people have their own rules.Some people think that its alright for a Muslim to talk over the phone, but not in person.Thats rather silly.Its impossible to live and not talk to the opposite gender.However, there are always boundaries. Some people live in a shell while others are way out there.We need a middle ground.:o

[MyStiCaL_MisS]

*Originally posted by Matsui: *
^ hahahahahahahahah

Use typing but avoid audible means of communication.

whats so funny..
voice is considered as aura in different circumstances..

MQ, thats right, wish we could follow it to the dot

[system]

[hiccup]

You go to your God and I shall go to mine.

[Shirin]

Wow what a bunch of hung up people.

What about some common sense rules first.

Some positive things, aimed at ordinary people with mental equilibrium.

These ridiculous rules led to the death of a bunch of Turkish school girls last month, because the only people who could have saved them were non-mehrams men who decided it was better the girls should die rather than that they should do something so impure.

What about putting some positive values first before we spealk about forbidding/fearing/protecting???? What about considering the value of life as supreme, remembering that we are all Allah's creatures, that teaching by love is far more effective that teaching by fear, that the forbidden becomes desirable, and that we are not masses of organic matter that are ruled by sex?

I am appalled that simply hearing someones voice or toiuching them can be considered a sin. Come on, what kind of segregated, twisted reasoning is this?

This kind of post is what people point to when they make fun of Islam. And this is NOT what Islam is all about.

[fariha81]

Totally agreed to what NOT GUILTY said.Majority of the people would take it as the extemist veiw or some even think of it as BACKWARDNESS.but this is what islam teaches us(i assume the people participating in this discussion are all muslims).jo log is baat se agree nahin kertey un key pass bohat si fazool justifications hoyein gi.NG is 100% right in what she said.Thanx for the reminder.

[abc1234]

.

[shobig]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

you forgot to mention chatting cybering with strange men. well phone & internet not mentionned in any hadith or quran. whereas a girl can enjoy her complete privacy in her bedroom.

@NOT GU!LTY

** A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys AND Vice Versa **

**** MALES > PLEASE NOTE IF UR READING THIS - Read with opposite sex wording. ** **

Life is full of crazy obstacles, but the one that will probably bug you the most and always be getting in the way is the opposite gender. Here, from one Muslim to another, is a Muslim girl’s guide on how to deal with guys. >>

**No Touching! **
Muslims are forbidden to touch any non-Mahram (Mahram is your Father, Brothers, Father in law, Husbands, Grandfathers, and the siblings of your parents) person of the opposite gender. That means no patting on the back, no hand shaking, no pushing, no shoving, no holding hands, and obviously no kissing and all of that. If you’re in a difficult situation where you think someone will try to shake your hand, the best thing to do is just smile and say, “My people don’t shake hands.” And then explain why. And why, is because we believe a woman’s touch is a privilege and she doesn’t just share it with anyone.

***Wise saying > “It is better for a man that a steel nail be driven through the centre of his head rather than if he touches the palm of a strange women (non-mahram).” ***

**No Flirting! **
Not even with Muslims, not even in an Islamic school, especially not in a masjid! Flirting means that you’re saying or doing things on purpose that make the other person attracted to you. There’s no set criterion for what flirting is, But any girl knows what is and how to do it.
Muslim women are supposed to behave better than the average woman, who has to be beautiful for all the men around her all the time, who are trapped behind their looks and only judge themselves to be worthy if half the men they know are in love with them. A wise dude once said, “Don’t start the mower unless you intend to cut the grass”.
If you don’t want a guy’s advances, then don’t do anything to earn them. There’s no point in throwing yourself all over guys and trying to seduce half the world. You really only want to marry one guy, and you want to spend the rest of your life with him, and chances are he isn’t going to be some dork you batted your eyelashes at in high school.

**No Boy friends! **
As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is haraam because it counts as Zina- fornication. Fornication, in easy English means ‘sexual sin’. Allah expressly forbids romantic or sexual relationships outside of marriage. When people go against the rule, then you get the typical western society where people play sexual merry-go-round with each other, giving each other STD’s using and abusing each other, and destroying the sacredness of marriage as an institution. You can’t even be sort of engaged to a guy, and then “date” to get to know each other.
In Islam, non-Mahram men and women aren’t allowed to gaze at each other. It doesn’t matter if the guy you like is Muslim, a great guy and the Prince of England, you can’t date him. No Boy-friends!

The easiest way to ensure that you don’t end up falling in love with some guy before you’re ready to get married is to avoid making friends with boys. Of course in school you have to Interact with boys all over the place but that doesn’t mean you should be best buds with them.
Probably 90% of relationships begin from friendships. Chances are you’re not ready for marriage, your parents aren’t ready to let you get married, you’re still in school and your crush is not the sort of fellow you want to spend the rest of your life with, so just avoid being friends with him in the first place. It really is the best formula for saving yourself from needless temptation.

**How to do it. **
When you have to talk to boys in school as teammates, lab partners, group members, and peers, it’s best to maintain a distance. That means that you don’t confide in them, you don’t let down your guard, you don’t unnecessarily engage them in needless conversation, don’t joke around, and never flirt. Yeah it may be a little hard, but this is your afterlife we’re talking about.
SO many great sisters have put themselves in really sticky situation because they allowed a boy to get to know them, and either ended up liking the boy, or having the boy like them. Once that happens you either end up becoming a pair (which is HARAAM!), or having to end your friendship. Instead of letting it get to that point, and then having to kill a friendship that you probably worked hard on cultivation, you should just stop it before it begins. There are plenty of great girls around who can be your friends and if you really think only a guy will understand your problem, then talk to your REAL brother, or your father, or an uncle.

**No talking on the phone with boys! **
In Islam it is forbidden for non-related guys and girls to be alone together because there is the chance for physical zina, vocal zina, and zina of the eyes. That means, with no one there to watch you guys except that boogery shaitan, then you might be tempted to actually DO something, or say gross things, or stare at each other, all lustily. With that in mind, it’s also a safe bet to assume that talking on the phone with non-Mahram guys is a no-no too. Why? Because unless you’ve both got it on the speaker-phone and you’re chaperoned by a responsible person, then you’re still kind of “alone” with him. The people in your house can’t hear what he’s saying to you, and his family can’t hear what you’re saying to him. There’s a chance for some bad stuff then, so just avoid it. Not to mention, having some dude saying things into your ear that no one else can hear would be gross in real life, why is it okay for him to talk into your ear via the telephone? For the most part it’s just too intimate.

**Be Disaffected! **
What does that mean? Disaffected means un-affect-able. That means that nothing a dude can say can hit your nerves, make you blush, or get a reaction out of you. It also means that you are uninterested in what they do as well. Imagine yourself being in an airplane looking down on the scenery below. You’re a little interested in what’s going on down there, and it may look really nice, but you know that to get to the scenery you have to jump off the plane. Like the scenery miles below you, the guy may look really nice, but you know that to get him you have to jump off the plane….err.. commit spiritual suicide, and though the fall may be fun, you will eventually hit the ground 600 metres below and go-splat- on Judgment Day. Maybe even sooner. Short of becoming an ice-princess, being disaffected involves putting up a mental wall between you and all of male-kind.
They don’t know your thoughts and you don’t care for theirs. You can interact with guys at school within the bounds of Islam, but always maintain a formal distance. Don’t ask a guy how his infected toe is doing. Don’t give him a hug when he looks down. Don’t offer to help him with his homework.
Don’t go out of your way to remind him that you exist, and that you’re not half bad looking. Even if you don’t feel like look behaving, make yourself behave anyway, your afterlife is important enough to discipline yourself for.

The safest philosophy when dealing with guys is remembering this, “He’s not what I want, so why should I do any thing to make him interested in me? That’ll just make for a painfully awkward situation and it’s not worth the sin anyhow… Remember that you’re always being watched!
Would you act all giggly and stupid with boys if the Prophet Muhammad (saw) could see you? No, right? Because you’d feel like ungrateful idiot for disregarding the religion that Prophet Muhammad (saw) took so much pain for just to deliver to you.
Well, imagine how ungrateful it is to act like a supreme idiot when Allah can see you all the time and it is really stupid to disregard the religion that Allah prescribed, the favours he bestowed upon you.
How dumb is it to take the eyes that Allah gave you and do things with them that He told you not to? (Like ogle at boys) How much stupider is it that He can see you doing this, and you know it! You have no secrets! Not because Big Brother (whoever that is….) is watching you, but because every single thing you ever did will become public domain on the Day of Judgment, and you’ll be brought to trial to defend what you did. Just don’t do anything that you wouldn’t want your parents, your siblings, your teachers, your friends, and the whole world to know about, ok?

[ImranQ]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

NOT GUILTY u are an extremist no fun at all

As a Muslim, you know that having a boyfriend is haraam because it counts as Zina- fornication.

who told you this??? its ridiculous … commiting zina is not that easy girl… you have to do some real stuff for that … so, plz… don’t say i am zani

[TheNewWannaBe]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

@the game

The Game Responds:

So am I going to hell or what? Really. People, That Is All.

[Orpheus]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

@waqas72

ok this has got to be one of the funniest posts on gupshup since um the last time irem posted something.

Oh and look who’s agreeing with all this crap!? lol

Gimmie a @)*ing break!

Whoever wrote this has her freaking hijab on too tight or I bet his bukra beard has gone out of wack!! Has it ever occured to you that most of BS that is commonly passed off as ‘Islam’ is in fact reasons and justification to completely control women and make them 100% subservient and dependent on men.

Now does this sound like something Allah would want to enforce or some typical chauvinistic insecure male???

Looking, talking, befriending or even thinking about a member of the opposite gender does not lead to sex. That is so completely @$(@#($ed up! Again the whole guilt trip and blame is being put on the woman they way this is written. It’s all about control!

The only people who are this screwed up and should worry about this sort of thing are those that are so sexually repressed and can’t function in any society anywhere anyhow. Such people should just go lock themselves in their closet til judgement day!

God gave you a mind… use it!

As far as women being so irresistible!? ha what a load of crap! You women are so full of yourself and it’s what you all want to believe.

Men are freaking idiots and not too picky either! If there are no women around they’ll go and screw every and anything else they can find anyhow! And if you don’t believe this go to your local farm or prison and check out the action there! lol

[Zabardast]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

Al-Quran is the best guidance directly...and not others opinions or jurisprudece...

What if there is an auto crash with males/females in it...it happens to be male rescuers around...so they will only pull out the males and leave the females there at their mercy...because males are not allowed to touch a female...c'mon man...grow up...

PS: Once it was even in the news...in Saudia Arabia...a school caught fire...many girls died...just because the male rescuers were not allowed to touch females...clean up your disgusting minds...you morons...

PS1: Its written in Al-Quran...if you like a person...say that to in his/her ear...for the purpose of marriage of course...

PS2: Now move yourself...take out the book named Al-Quran...read it bit by bit...never read it like a novel or some school book...the goal is to absorb it into your soul...remember...this is the only book in the history of mankind which has been learnt by heart...and in the language the best command you have over...hmmmmm

[thatbrownkid]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

No joking around with them? No talking on the phone?

Yea maybe we should just live on different continents.

[system]

Re: A Muslim Girl’s guide for dealing with Guys

Just a question: where do you cross the border between just joking and actually flirting?