There has been much written about Rep. Akin’s comments that legitimate rape does not result in a child being born. I don’t want to belabor that part of the issue. But I came across a very interesting opinion article written by a lawyer who had herself been raped and who gave birth to her rapist’s child.
What was interesting and disturbing about this article was that her rapist, who is also the father of her child demanded and was able to demand visitation and custody rights to her child. Apparently in order to secure no-contact, the lawyer-victim negotiated away her right to seek justice against her rapist.
My knee-jerk reaction was heck no - he should be kept very far away from this child. But if we think about it, should the rapist-father be denied any/all rights to the child? Does the child have a right to know his/her parent? And what if the rapist has served his sentence and reformed - does that make a difference?*
It would not be long before I would learn firsthand that in the vast majority of states – 31 – men who father through rape are able to assert the same custody and visitation rights to their children that other fathers enjoy. When no law prohibits a rapist from exercising these rights, a woman may feel forced to bargain away her legal rights to a criminal trial in exchange for the rapist dropping the bid to have access to her child.
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When faced with the choice between a lifetime tethered to her rapist or meaningful legal redress, the answer may be easy, but it is not painless. For the sake of her child, the woman will sacrifice her need to see her once immensely powerful perpetrator humbled by the court.
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