I read so many stories here from broken hearted guppies who have been left/betrayed/had their hearts broken that I thought I would share mine and maybe give a little hope to someone who may be feeling hopeless.
I never had any boyfriends until I was in my 20s and met a guy. He seemed really interesting, had a good job and was Pakistani too. It was like everything was right about him, my parents were sure to be ok with it if we wanted to get married. I liked him so much, texted and called all the time, always looking for a chance to meet up. Anyway, since my parents always trusted me with the freedom they gave me I told them about the situation straight away. My Dad was of course horrified. Actually no one was happy for me. Anyway, it carried on and the further things moved the more I realised that this guy was a d*ck. He basically said he’d seen me around and made it sort of a project to ‘get’ me. He was mean to me, would say cruel things, really made my seld confidence bad, and still I stuck to him, thinking that because of his sad childhood if I could show him how honestly I loved him, he would change.
In the end it turned out he had a couple of other girlfriends going on at the same time as me. I was totally devastated. I couldn’t understand how someone who I had opened my heart to, who knew that I wasn’t the casual dating type, could betray my trust that way. I had told him early on that if he didn’t want something serious, he was free to go before we got any deeper, but he told me all these sweet lies about how he wanted to be with me blah blah blah. Anyway, after I found out about the other girls, he completely turned on me, made my life very difficult with the rumours he spread.
So I cut all my ties with him.
At this point I was so down and so miserable, I thought I’d never be happy again. I didn’t see how I could bring myself to ever trust another man again.
About a year passed and then I met someone in the last place in the world I expected to meet someone. I just clicked with this guy, it was unbelievable. I’ve never felt such a connection in my life before, it’s like I knew him all my life. Anyway, as he was a foreigner (non pakistani) I didn’t say anything because I thought “what’s the point, it’s not like we can be together”. I just kept quite, enjoying his company and listening to his fascinating life. He was the smartest and nicest man I’d ever met, after my Dad of course, which I gues was a really good sign.
I kept in touch with this guy but my heart was heavy because I’d fallen in love with someone I couldn’t be with. And I mean, the feelings I had for this guy… when I think about my first boyfriend it’s like comparing a drop and the ocean.
Anyway, to cut a long story short, he felt the same way. Despite my family objecting, we managed to win them around and we are now happily married (I know I posted for wedding lenghas on other threads, because we did our Nikka and not the wedding party yet)
He is the greatest most precious person to come into my life. He thinks of me first, never gives me bad advice and is always straight with me. In short, after I thought I loved someone, I really truly learnt what love is. I would never have known that the first experience was just infatuation not love, if I hadn’t met my husband. I’d do anythign for him and I fought the world to be with him, and I know he’d do the same for me, which is what makes it so precious.
Alhamdullilah despite their objections, my parents are also very fond of him now.
So, if your heart has been broken and you’re losing all hope, my advice is:
*Everyone comes into our life for a reason. The first guy was bad to me, even though on paper he would have been perfect, and the reason for that was so that I could learn what I DIDN’T want from a relationship and to open my heart a little more. My hubby was an impossibility on paper, but perfect for me in real life.
*Think of the bigger picture. If you have been betrayed or left by someone who couldn’t stand up to his/her family for you, how can you trust that person to make a family with you, because the going gets a lot tougher as life goes on, and you need to know that the person at your side would give their all to protect the family he/she made with you.
*Don’t confuse love and infatuation. I really did think I loved my first boyfriend, but like I said when I truly fell in love with my husband, the feeling between the two is so huge it can’t even be compared. When you love someone, heart and soul, it’s all consuming. It feels like you’re going crazy.
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When it’s real love, the other person would do anything for you, and you can tell it by looking in their eyes. Real love is precious and rare, as other couples irritatingly say, you’ll just know when it’s the right person.
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Don’t lose hope. Love is out there for everyone, and I didn’t believe it till I met my husband.
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Don’t worry. It’s a cliche but I found love in the last possible place I was looking for it. Love comes to you. You can’t force it your way.
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Time and love heal. Seriously. Once you meet the right person, you won’t even remember what it was you were so crazy about before. And even if you don’t meet that person straight away, time heals all wounds.
This is coming to you from a reformed critic of love and romance! I thought it was all nonsense, and then man how I had to eat my words.
saari baate zaruri hai to come to conclusion of what happened to her
…happy tears in my eyes…
