Here’s a great description of Pakistani students.
The inspiration for this article is an observation by someone regarding the large number of undergraduates in the US from Pakistan. This is one more manifestation of a poor country with rich people. What follows is a description of some of these undergraduates grouped by some common characteristics. Please note that I have limited myself to undergraduates only.
The graduates, post-docs and other “professional” students will be dealt with at some other time.
- Kids with parents settled in the gulf or Saudi Arabia: These kids form the largest contingent amongst the undergraduates of Pakistani origin. Generally more docile and amiable than their true-blooded homegrown cousins, they are one notch below the ABCDs (American Born Confused Desis) in terms of being confused. They rarely have strong opinions on any subject and they are able to adapt themselves to their surroundings very quickly. Most of them go to middle-tier schools with solid engineering programmes that allow them to find jobs after graduation very quickly. Some of them opt to go back to their adopted homelands.
Many get married to ABCDs since they have a vast connection of cousins and aunts spread all over the two coasts. While in school they are not really interested in getting to know the opposite sex (it’s a mystery why) and therefore are able to graduate in time. Don’t expect them to be stimulating conversationalists or intellectually too gifted. They do make very good friends though.
- Kids with parents in the middle-ranking bureaucratic or political cadres: In 9 out of 10 cases the parents are corrupt and therefore able to afford the twenty-five grand or so every year that little Johnny needs in order to get the label of “foreign qualified”. These kids usually end up in one of the many state colleges in America’s northeast, Midwest or west coast mainly because an aunt or uncle lives nearby. This breed is frequently very nationalistic with flags of Pakistan and giant pictures of Imran Khan pasted next to Van Halen on their bedroom walls. They are always in search of that elusive double or triple major that would land them in the big leagues at the graduate level.
By the time they realize that a double major in economics and math and minors in philosophy and history from Chico State equals a diploma in wine-tasting from Harvard, it’s already too late. They frequently return to Pakistan where Papa sets them up with a packaging plant in Kot Lakhpat and mama takes care of their bursting libido with an 18-year old from an equally corrupt family. The source of their angst lies in their general inability to become too friendly with members of the opposite sex. To achieve this glorious end they first try and become very active in the local chapter of the Pakistan Students Association. Disappointed (rebuffed?) they move on to the Indian Student Association. Everyone knows them but alas no one wants to be friends with them. They deal with their frustration by becoming the most ardent and religious Pakistanis. Books by Wolpert or Ali Shariati are strewn all over the floor in their apartments (along with cases of empty cans of Budweiser from last night). This class of kids should be avoided at all costs.
- Kids with parents in the high-ranking bureaucratic or military cadres: These kids are the most rabid Pakistanis you will find anywhere. Beneficiaries of the state largesse at the grandest scale, they have every reason to uphold the decaying heap of trash that their parents have helped create. Some of them do make it to the elite schools while others toil in little college towns of the American Midwest.
This is the class that can afford to let their kids buy Ferraris that they park outside their dorms at BU (Boston University) or Florida State. Some of them do excel in their chosen field of study and are then picked up by the corporate mandarins of Citibank or ABN Amro and then placed back home to use papa’s connections. Life is literally a breeze for these children of privilege. They have several friends from the opposite sex and from varied backgrounds. They end up marrying within the clan though. Sometimes they don’t go back home for years making their way up the corporate ladder.
- Kids with feudal, industrial or political backgrounds: The bright ones are almost always at the Ivy leagues while the rest party away at the University of Miami. Generally low-key they know that the destiny of the country lies in their hands and they prepare accordingly taking courses like “Horse breeding for beginners” or “Bloody revolutions: A Faustian analysis” in their sophomore year.
While their more plebeian classmates toil away doing summer internships at McKinsey or Goldman Sachs, they are busy learning the nuances of Shakespearean dialogue in the leafy confines of Princeton or Ann Arbor. They are beginning to demand their pound of flesh earlier and earlier. The progeny of one of the biggest feudal families master-minded a power-generation scam with the aid of a World Bank bigwig while still a junior at Harvard. Another, known for his good looks, served for quite some time as a minister in the federal cabinet.
…Continue…
True to dat
yea how nice?