A Little Help...

Lifestyle Relationships
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I have an illness; it’s something that has no cure and also something that I have done nothing to get. I was born with a genetic predisposition towards it; and later on in life developed it. It’s not contagious, either. Just a special, untransferrable gift from God to me.

Don’t get me wrong, I am thankful that (MA) it is a mild form of what it could be; and that I am able to do what I want to do unhindered, most of the time.

So although I am fine and content with my situation, the issues arise when my family begins to ‘look’ for me. I don’t know how to explain this, when to, or as some of my friends tell me, whether to at all unless the need arises (aka when I get sick).

My stance on this is that I have to be completely and utterly honest. I have been in the past, and it has led to…people not calling back, making excuses…or being just plain ol’ rude. I’m getting a little emotionally tired now of hanging my hopes up on the highest peg on the wall and then seeing them fall to the ground every time. At this point, I really don’t want to get married or meet anyone and get involved, but my family keeps looking; keeps asking my approval on pictures, information, etc.

I just want to concentrate on my education, my goals in life and being happy. Living life well, you know?

I’m beginning to feel trapped, though. Help? Is it really that bad for us desi girls who have conditions they can’t help? For the guys out there, would you marry someone who had a disease?

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Wow,i liked your angrazi,you seem educated.:)
well done dude

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Re: A Little Help...

help ur sis :)

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LeM, dont worry iA everything will work out with the right person. My best friend who is mA very beautiful, has Lupus.
as soon as her family started to 'look' for her...she got a lot of rishta's (maybe even before they started), she would go to places and the next day get a rishta and as soon as they found out abt her lupus they said no. But thn came her husband to be. fell in love with her, got engaged with in two weeks (she of course told him before the engagement... and his whole family was fine with it) after the engagement he did have 2nd thoughts, he was doing his research and finding out how it would be really diffcult to have a kid and how hard life would be for them...but he loved her too much... and how they have been married for 6 years mA! and they welcomed their first baby 3 weeks ago :)
So dont worry and cont. on what u r doing, iA everything will be just fine, i knw you have trust in Allah so keep on trusting him.

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Re: A Little Help...

Every story hav some twist but always hav som happy endinggg :)

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Re: A Little Help...

Im glad your being honest about it, we have a genetic illness in the family too, and some of my siblings suffer from it, some of us are not, but trying to explain that to a backwards mentality is like saying Bush has an IQ of 190.

Some people are just too afraid to comprehend the unknown. Most people are afraid of what they dont know and fear is a tricky thing.

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Re: A Little Help...

InshAllah everything will be ok for you... im sure there is someone out there who will love you for who you are... just concentrate on your studies and everything will work out...

btw what is the disease you have?

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Re: A Little Help...

I have a skin disorder which will prob get passed down to our children. My hubz knew about it prior to getting engaged and was at the hospital bed when i went in for an operation for it... not once has he complained about the scar. We discuss how we can prevent it happening to our children.. how we can be on top of stuff before it happens.. but other than that, its never been an issue.

inshallah, when u meet the right person... he will accept and love you for whatever you are.

Tumhari Yeh Shrarat Aj Tak Naqsh Hai
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Re: A Little Help...

LeMocker - all I can say is that the right guy will not give two hoots about it. :)

Timepass-Jan 2013
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Re: A Little Help...

thank you all...!

Ziya, I really hope the right guy does show up soon; sometimes the emotional rollercoaster gets a tad annoying; like this morning when I felt I was gearing to go into battle when my mother wanted to show me another 'biodata.'

Ah well; I suppose we're all in the same boat, just going to different places!

Khamoshi !
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Re: A Little Help...

LeMocker,

You're doing the right thing by being honest. You would want potential rishtas to be honest with you as well. Somewhere out there is a guy who will accept you and love you for who you are and your condition will mean squat to him. And it's my sincerest wish that you find him soon, Aamin. Keep praying, there is immense power in prayer. It is said that sometimes Allah delays our duas because he likes hearing us turn to him with such sincerity.

Everything is destined and you will get hitched when it's your time to get hitched. Perhaps such a view can prevent the despondency that results from rishtas not calling back etc. When someone rejects you, that's basically their way of saying that YOUR **life is better off with **WITHOUT them. Basically they're doing you a favor by not reciprocating.....because that only clears the way for the RIGHT guy to come along! Hang in there girlie, you're gonna be just fine! As the saying goes, "The fruit of patience is sweet."

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Re: A Little Help...

thank you redvelvet...that was beautiful :-)

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Re: A Little Help...

LeMocker, people are right - the right guy will accept all of you inshAllah. :)

No one is perfect honestly, some have physical disadvantages and others have far worse personality/mood disorders. Think about that and never ever feel like you're lacking in anyway. Your posts show a real attractive personality and I wish you all the best in all that you do in life. :)

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Re: A Little Help…

LeMock - quite some sensible stuff said about your situation. One way or the other, we all have our issues. When the time is right, these things wouldn’t matter at all Inshallah.

:k:

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LeMocker! very sad to know about ur situation. but just dont lose ur hope just keep going on and just rely on Allah's help.

u seem to be very honest and such genetic diseases are not a matter to think in marriages. one just have to consider sharafat and religious situation of him/her.

well yes i would marry such women but i shall focus on her religious mind instead of such diseases.!

one must feel pride to help such people.

:)

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Re: A Little Help...

LeMocker,

Your honesty and sincerity will pay off Inshallah. We dont know why Allah swt does what He does, do we? Its hard for us to understand...so dont try to. :)

One thing I will say is try not to invest yourself emotionally in someone until you feel this person can stand by you through thick or thin.

Live your life, be the best you can be and most of all...dont lose hope. Im certain when you least expect it, your Prince Charming will show up and sweep you off your feet.

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oh yes! again a good advice!

think about it alsooo...

:)

Timepass - February
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Mashallah she has Lupus and was able to conceive? I know someone who has Lupus, not sure how strong, but she has been unable to conceive. As much as I know, she has to take certain meds when she has a "flare up" (not sure what to call it).....which is very dangerous to a fetus....and she hasnt been able to go long enough without meds to have a healthy pregnancy, she had miscarriage. Plz keep her in your prayers, perhaps there is hope for her.

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Re: A Little Help...

^^ oo ill keep her in my prayers and yes there is hope. my bf has been married for a while now and i dont knw if they tried before but i knw she was on bed rest after 4 months into the pregnancy...and wuld go see her dr. every week for check up...she went for one of these check up and the doc said her lupus was "flaring up" so the baby came 4 weeks before...but mA both the mom and the baby are health :)

Timepass - February