Getting married is very much like going to a continental restaurant with friends . You order what you want , then when you see what the other fellow has , you wish you had ordered that .
At the cocktail party , one woman said to another , " Aren’t you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger ? " The other replied , " Yes I am , I married the wrong man . "
A little boy asked his father , " Daddy , how much does it cost to get married ? " And the father replied , " I don’t know son , I’m still paying for it . "
When a newly married man looks happy , we know why . But when a ten-year married man looks happy - we wonder why .
Married life is very frustrating . In the first year of marriage , the man speaks and the woman listens . In the second year , the woman speaks and the man listens . In the third year , they both speak and the neighbours listen .
A good husband should be deaf , and a good wife blind .
After a quarrel , a wife said to her husband , " You know , I was a fool when I married you . " And the husband replied , " Yes dear , but I was in love and didn’t notice it . "
A man inserted an ’ ad ’ in the classifieds : " Wife wanted " . Next day he received a hundred letters . They all said the same thing : " You can have mine . "
To marry once is a duty , twice a folly , thrice madness .
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife , you can be sure of one thing either the car is new or the wife .
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once .
When a man steals your wife , there is no better revenge than to let him keep her .
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence . Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience .
Never advise anyone to go to war or to marry .
Its the duty of a woman to marry as soon as possible , and of a man to stay unmarried as long as possible .
***I dunno where I’m going. I dunno what for. But I’m making progress.