The “Two Cow Philosophy”
ISLAMIC SOCIALIST: You have two cows.
You keep one and give one to the Mullah of your mosque who slaughters
it for a day’s enjoyment of beaf.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and
gives it to party men.
AN INDIAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Both are sacred.
Only Hindus are allowed to keep them and worship them. You can add
as much water as You like to sell the milk and blame Pakistan for stealing
your milk. You constantly blame Pakistani bulls for raping your cows.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows.
The government seizes both and decides how much milk you get.
DEMOCRACY WESTERN STYLE: Your Government hunts for bulls in
third world Countries and brings the loot to give you a bull every year
to help build a herd. But your government does not allow you to have
the full herd and takes away old -milk less cows every year that they
give in aid to poor Countries where they hunt for bulls.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one,
buy a bull and build a herd of cows.
AMERICAN FOREIGN POLICY: You have two cows. George Bush
forces your government to take them both, shoot one, milk the other, pay you
for the milk, then pour the milk down the drain.
A PAKISTANI COMPANY: You have two cows. You sell one, and force
the employees to use water to produce the milk of four cows. You declare
in tax return that you have half a cow.
A PAKISTANI GOVT. OWNED CORPORATION: You have two cows.
Your labor union leaders take 50% milk and force you to sell milk at increased
price. You declare bankruptcy when a cow dies so you sell one and
deposit the Money in a Swiss bank in your own personal account.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are eleventh the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk
A TALIBAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You keep them in veils.
No bull is allowed to visit them. You feed them once a month and
milk four times a day. When they die you pray for new ones but in vain.
A MUTTEHADA CORPORATION: You had two cows and now you don’t
know where they are. But you are accused of stealing those cows
from Zia’s Farm and you take refuge in London lest you are arrested.
A MUSLIM LEAGE (NAWAZ) CORPORATION: You have two cows.
You count them and say that you have five cows. So you give one to Chachjee
and import 5 cows on credit and give 3 cows to Bhai Jees and contiue to
repeat the process multiplying foreign loans.
A BALUCHII CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you’re
not sure where they are. Maybe they were stolen by Sardars of
tribal areas. So you ask Fedral Govt to supply beaf and milk.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which
belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
A PPP CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a
partnership with a foreign corporation to buy 100 cows on credit.
You give away to party people 99 cows and declare bankruptcy.
…
Selection from humor column of Weekly Paklink Digest
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