1: What do you call a top pop group made up of nits ?
The lice girls.
2: Teacher: I’d like you to be very quiet today, girls. I’ve got a dreadful headache.
Mary: Please, Miss ! why don’t you do what mum does when she has a headache ?
Teacher: What’s that ?
Mary: She sends us out to play !
3: How does a Girl kill a fish ?
She drowns it.
4: Two girls were talking in the corridor. ‘That boy over there is getting on my nerves,’ said Clarrie.
‘But he’s not even looking at you,’ replied Clara.
‘That’s what’s getting on my nerves,’ retorted Clarrie.
5: ‘Now remember, girls,’ said the science teacher. ‘You can tell a tree’s age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year.’
Alice went home from school and found a chocolate roll on the table. ‘I’m not eating that, mum,’ she said. 'It’s five years old.
6: A fat girl went into a cafe and ordered two slices of apple pie with four scoops of ice cream cover with lashings of raspberry sauce and piles of chopped nuts.
‘Would you like a cherry on the top ?’ asked the waitress.
‘No, thanks,’ said the girl, ‘I’m on a diet !’
7: Boy monster: You’ve got a face like a million dollars.
Girl monster: Have I really ?
Boy monster: Yes, its green and wrinkly !
8: Did you hear about the girl monster who wasn’t pretty and wasn’t ugly ?
She was pretty ugly
9: Roger was in a very full bus when a fat girl opposite said, ‘If you were a gentleman, you’d stand up and let someone else sit down.’
‘And if you were a lady,’ replied Roger, 'you’d stand up and let four people sit down.
10: The garbage men were just about to leave the street when a girl came running out of the house carrying some cardboard boxes.
‘Am I too late for the garbage ?’ she called.
‘No,’ replied one of the men, ‘jump right in !’