A girl/guy situation - Comment Please

[T1000]

Re: A girl/guy situation - Comment Please

@redvelvet

Your friend saying this girl isn’t the type that “someone” would want to marry is a pretty strong statement. And I wonder why he would make such a comment. Is it because she has many guy friends that she’s not worthy of marriage? (That would be double standards).

You say that your friend claims he’s not in love with her but would like to be with her. That seems more like an ego issue. Perhaps your friend is used to girls throwing themselves at him and giving into him (as you said that he dates them for a few months and then dumps them) and this girl is not surrendering to him in the same way, so it’s driving up the wall and he feels a greater need to have her. I wonder if maybe the girl can SENSE that your friend has this kind of mentality and that could be why she doesn’t want to have a relationship with him. If she knows that he dumps girls after a few months, maybe she doesn’t want to be included in that list of girls.

You think the girl clearly likes him. Okay. So, you can clearly like someone as a friend. It doesn’t have to be “liking” in the romantic sense. Your friend has asked her out and has tried to convince her that they are more than friends…but she doesn’t have the same feelings. Whether or not she secretly or subconsciously has romantic feelings for your friend is debatable…BUT…what matters more is what she has told your friend: That she’s not interested in a relationship. She’s being direct with him. Would he (your friend) have the balls to be direct with her and tell her that “Look, I just wanna be with you for a good time. I’d like to have a relationship with you that doesn’t lead anywhere because i personally don’t think you’re the type of girl that any guy would want to marry.” Would he be that direct with her? Something to think about.

He’s let her know how he feels, the ball is now in her court. If he finds it difficult to maintain a friendship/communication with her because of his lusty crush…then he can opt to maintain a distance from her and go for some other girl who will be more than willing to enter a relationship for 3-4 months. And if he were to maintain that distance…and if she starts calling him…it could be because she wants his attention…it could be because she simply misses him as a friend…or that she realizes she has feelings for him. The absence might make her miss him and appreciate him more… But the “missing” is not a guarantee that she is in love with him. You say that this girl just wants attention from him. And you also say that sh has a lot of guys around her. It seems odd that a girl who receives a lot of attention from many guys would be so hung up over the attention of JUST your friend.

to most of your arguments, I don’t have answer since i don’t know the details. let me see what else i can asnwer

I dun know why he said that. probably, she is kind a girl who doesn’t do “ghardhari” (khana pakana etc) or whatever. probably she is so pampered that this guy believes that he would nto be able to keep her life pampered the way she is in her house .. :s .. I have no vague idea why did he said all that

2: Umm, I guess girl believes that he is really decent guy. or at least my friend never told em anything from which i can makeup something that girl doesn’t have an idea what kind a guy he is. but if I have to comment about the guy then HELL YEAH to whatever you said. he was kind a guy who had girls around. who used to thrown them on him but he turned them down all over. I always make fun of him .. that this is the curse of every girl you turned down ..

when i said that she has lots of guys around I mean, she has lots of guys as friends and all of them would love to talk to her IF she wants to talk to them. but she doesn’t. she has very limited conversation with them and ON/OFF specific to few topics. and thats the biggest reason I am saying that the GIRL likes the guy as well but she just doesn’t want to be in a realtionship for hell of reason. why would she talk to a guy that much if she doesn’t like him? if the case is just attention then she can get attention from lots of other people around her. there could be only 2 possible answers to this questions. either she is just playing around to pass her time .. or she is taking her time .. .. since she does not want anything serious, so she is letting things in flow

Okay one more thing came up in my mind. According to the girl. All of those guys are “better” looking compared to my friend .. :s .. i duno if that helps in this case or not .. but just popped up in my head.

I asked teh guy to step back. let her miss you .. to which he said .. Not now. I want to make her more dependent on me .. more attached so taht if i may leave she misses me.
I believe one of the reason of his above statement would be “his” insecurity. since he knows there are other people around as well so if he leaves she might not miss him since she has other people to make her feel special or something like that .. :s (thats my personal comment since i know this guy very well). OR it could be that he is really good at this and when he wants to play this trump card, he wants to be sure

One more thing. the girl is very conservative .. she does not open up with people. she is really frank and comfortable with this guy and she keeps are private/personal things to herself but she has told to HIM.
To which i said, how do you know taht she has told things only to you or to other as well ..