Re: A girl/guy situation - Comment Please
Your friend saying this girl isn’t the type that “someone” would want to marry is a pretty strong statement. And I wonder why he would make such a comment. Is it because she has many guy friends that she’s not worthy of marriage? (That would be double standards).
You say that your friend claims he’s not in love with her but would like to be with her. That seems more like an ego issue. Perhaps your friend is used to girls throwing themselves at him and giving into him (as you said that he dates them for a few months and then dumps them) and this girl is not surrendering to him in the same way, so it’s driving up the wall and he feels a greater need to have her. I wonder if maybe the girl can SENSE that your friend has this kind of mentality and that could be why she doesn’t want to have a relationship with him. If she knows that he dumps girls after a few months, maybe she doesn’t want to be included in that list of girls.
You think the girl clearly likes him. Okay. So, you can clearly like someone as a friend. It doesn’t have to be “liking” in the romantic sense. Your friend has asked her out and has tried to convince her that they are more than friends…but she doesn’t have the same feelings. Whether or not she secretly or subconsciously has romantic feelings for your friend is debatable…BUT…what matters more is what she has told your friend: That she’s not interested in a relationship. She’s being direct with him. Would he (your friend) have the balls to be direct with her and tell her that “Look, I just wanna be with you for a good time. I’d like to have a relationship with you that doesn’t lead anywhere because i personally don’t think you’re the type of girl that any guy would want to marry.” Would he be that direct with her? Something to think about.
He’s let her know how he feels, the ball is now in her court. If he finds it difficult to maintain a friendship/communication with her because of his lusty crush…then he can opt to maintain a distance from her and go for some other girl who will be more than willing to enter a relationship for just a few months.
And if he were to maintain that distance…and if she starts calling him…it could be because she wants his attention…it could be because she simply misses him as a friend…or that she realizes she has feelings for him. The absence might make her miss him and appreciate him more. So, he can try the “Playing hard to get” or “Blowing hot and cold” or “MIA” approach…but her “missing” him is not a guarantee that she is in love with him (could be but may not be). You say that this girl just wants attention from him. And you also say that sh has a lot of guys around her. It seems odd that a girl who receives a lot of attention from many guys would be so hung up over the attention of JUST your friend.
If the girl is playing him/deliberately stringing him along (takes a playette to know a player)…that’s messed up. But it’s also wrong to give a guy advice on how to “get” the girl when he doesn’t have an overall favorable opinion of her and doesn’t want something long term.