Who am I fighting? My father. ..yes I want to fight my father and win this battle.
25+ years I have been part of it and suffered alot. I am depressed bt now I want all out war with my father.
My dad always trust his sis and brothers more than us. He never trusted us yet he did provided us a decent upbringing and gave u opportunities that we grabbed and became wat we are the today. Today we are envy of all his bro and sisters. In fact our phupa even said to my mun infront of every1 that these people are jealous of your kids success.
Dads family always told wrong incorrect info gossip to dad abt us, my mum and he believed. Only my grandfather was supporting my mum. We have always been in unfavorite and hated ones in our family.
Now on recent trip to pak on my bro wedding, dad family mostly created issues on wedding. They didnt stay behind at barat to welcome or involve at rukhsati. Bt told dad we only involved mums side nt them. Bt they all left after food only relatives left behind were mums side.
We didnt accepted any dowary? And now we are villians of our khandan.
New bhabi was insulited, ignored and talked about after first day. And instead if siding with us dad is with his sister and brothers side and accused my mum of everything.
Now we r back and trying to put everything behind bt dad is totally quiet. Its like hes giving us silent treatment. His sister lives here too and she is total *****. She plays major role on all fights that happens between my mom and das. After wat happened not just her bt all family we are all avoiding. Now dad has issue with that too.
We can not have our own life. Our relatives keep creating issues in our life.
I always dreamed of dad listening to us, involving like other dad do. Bt hes always concerned about his new bros and sister s kids.
Dad lives opposite to my house and he hasnt talked properly to me for more than a month. It hurts so much when u r own dad does this. My brothers are best sons someone can ask Allah for yet dad always criticized them in front of his family.
I don’t know how to win this war. If we try to involve they are against us. If we ignore them they have issues. Bt if we fed them with money they all are happy. They are rich. Why should we give them.
And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment. Whether one or both of them reach old age [while] with you, say not to them [so much as], "uff," and *do not repel them but speak to them a noble word. *(23) And lower to them the wing of humility out of mercy and say, "My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up [when I was] small."
surah bani israel
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination. (14)
surah luqman
And We have enjoined upon man goodness to parents. But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them. To Me is your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do. (8)
surah ankabut
May Allah guide us Ameen..
i pray may Allah grant you patience and make all your affairs straight Ameen...
Op when u have relatives who r so strong in their hate and jealousy and want to create so much discord within ur family, if u r not a match for them then u have to leave it to Allah. U will have no positive outcome from going to war with ur dad, in fact u will only add to ur gunnahs. All u can do is try to keep a distance from these relatives, meet them as little as possible,be respectful but distant. Let them have as little information as they can about u and ur family. Anything positive, any success keep it to urselves. If they find out anything just undermine it, k oh it's no big deal, we still don't know about this or that, or if this or that will happen or not, bus Allah behter karay. Also be particular about reading the four kuls and ayat-ul-kursi. Ppl like this are really strong carriers of the evil eye. In a Hadith it was said that if there was anything strong enough to change destiny or what is written in Lauh e mehfooz then it would have been the evil eye. Understand that ppl are actively trying to cause dysfunction in ur family, so don't add fuel to their fire. Keep ur distance, pray to Allah and inshAllah there will come a day where ur dad will realize on his own who is true and sincere, and who is not. Until then u can only do sabr. Because the spell that his family has him under, he will believe no one or nothing until he sees it for himself.
Don't start a war with your dad. Phir tum main aur dad k behn/bhaiyon main koi faraq nahi rahay ga. Aur dad k behn bhai is baat ka faida uthaain ge. They will tell your dad that, "Dekha your own kids are against you now."