sorry salman if you’ve already heard them from your phoopa or someone:( these are in urdu, i hope you’ll understand my roman urdu:hehe:
aik maan (mother) apney baitey ko awaaz deti hai:
mom: “beta neechey aa jaao, kafi raat ho gayi hai, abhi takk chatt (roof) par kia kar rahey ho”
Beta: ammi chaand dekh raha hoon
mom: beta buhat der ho gayi hai, tum bhi neechey aa jaao aur chaand sey bhi kaho apney ghar chala jaye -------> chaand = some girl 
mom: beta tumhe maloom hai jo khaandaani mansooba bandi (family planning) par yaqeen nahi rakhta ussey kia kahtey hain?
beta: nahi ammi, mujhe nahi maloom.
mom: “daddy”
dad: beta AIK AUR ice cream khaao gey?
beta: lekin abbu meney tou abhi takk aik bhi nahi khaayi:(
dad: beta tum bhool rahey ho, jab pichley saal hum yahan aaey they tou tumney aik ice cream nahi khaayi thee kia?
A teacher of a second grade class told them to write about their favorite hero. he checked their notebooks next day and was surprised and glad to see that one little boy had wrote his name as his favorite hero. he was very proud and happy and asked the kid why he chose him as his favorite hero. to which the kid replied “sir i didn’t know how to spell Shahruk Khan” 
i think enough for today:p
