A dilemma

autumn_leaves · November 15, 2008, 6:01am

Hi you lovely people out there
Iam in a gr8 dilemma these days.There is this guy.We both love each other so much and we want to get married,but our parents are not accepting and agreeing for this.And the main reason behind their disagreement is that we both have met each other over the internet,so thats why they have many insecurities regarding us.But we are willing to remove any of their doubts whatever they may have,but they are just not willing to hear.
So what should we do?How should we try to make them understand and agree?
Hoping for your valued suggestions.
Thanks!

Niksik · November 15, 2008, 6:06am

Re: A dilemma

Have you guys actually met each other? Like face to face, in person?

autumn_leaves · November 15, 2008, 6:11am

Re: A dilemma

Not yet.

Niksik · November 15, 2008, 6:14am

Re: A dilemma

Personally I would recommend you guys meet first and feel comfortable. There's a big difference between online relationships and real life relationships, especially if you want to get married.

autumn_leaves · November 15, 2008, 6:19am

Re: A dilemma

Yes,right.But how can we make our parents agree?

Niksik · November 15, 2008, 6:21am

Re: A dilemma

You might want to meet him without the knowledge of your parents, no? I mean you did get together online and have come so far in your relationship without their knowledge or approval right?

haimeradil · November 15, 2008, 6:21am

well. don't you think you should first meet the guy in person before you start talking to your parents about marriage.

that would be a logical first step now wouldn't it.

autumn_leaves · November 15, 2008, 6:23am

Re: A dilemma

They know about it,but they haven't approved it.

autumn_leaves · November 15, 2008, 6:26am

We thought after our parents approve of our relationship,we would meet up each other along with our parents.

Niksik · November 15, 2008, 6:27am

Re: A dilemma

And they will not.

Unless you have met him and are confident about your relationship how can you even convince them?

Arranged marriages are different because there are references and people in the middle who know both parties but meeting someone online is really a shot in the dark. You have to meet him first by all means.

RupayHalwa · November 15, 2008, 8:37am

U MUST meet eachother and FIRST!!!

Pareezay · November 15, 2008, 8:45am

Re: A dilemma

It's VERY important for a couple to meet each other in person before they can even think about marriage. You can't possibly be entirely sure of a person until you see them face to face because online life is very different from the real one.

NaMaan · November 15, 2008, 8:47am

Re: A dilemma

Behind the smoke screen of this internet we are all Tom Cruse and Angelina Jolie. We even act like that. But reality might be different. So just convert your dream into a reality first and than be convinced enough to stand up for that. Good luck.

dil_cheez · November 15, 2008, 5:19pm

Have can u get ready to marry I guy that you have never seen...... I know that it sounds all romantic fallin in love and havent seen each other but really do u not know what goes on now adays......... What happens if ur parents say yes to the marriage.... then u meet him, spend time with him..... u might relise thn that he is not the 1, so thn how will u persuade ur parents say no.....

Meet him first, not only once afew times...... if ur feeling are still the sme then speak to ur parents........

NaTaLia · November 15, 2008, 5:24pm

desi_ostrich · November 15, 2008, 5:27pm

Re: A dilemma

yest best thing is meet first in real life and then take it from there
good look
do you want reed on poem about internet love etc

desi_ostrich · November 15, 2008, 5:33pm

Re: A dilemma

[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Little black words
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]race across a white screen
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]where faceless people sit
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]alone yet not alone
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]with lonely voids to fill.
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Silent words call out
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]and quickly draw them in
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]painting love and illusion
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]on stark computer palettes.
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]The little black words
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]race across white screens
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]filling hearts and minds
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]with passion.
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]Two souls reach out
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]to touch one another
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]in hollow little word worlds
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]where things are shared
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]that shouldn't be.
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]A lonely spouse sits by the bed
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]starved for love and understanding
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]and with each new keystroke
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]in another room [FONT=Arial,Helvetica]the little black words
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]dig the gulf between them
[FONT=Arial,Helvetica]just a little bit wider.

Reha · November 15, 2008, 6:45pm

Re: A dilemma

I think they're probably not taking it very seriously because you've never even met the guy. They're thinking you dont know what you're talking about and have lost your mind to an internet romance.

Meet the guy first and make sure you really want this person. THEN involve your parents. It doesnt make sense to them most probably at this stage which is why they've rejected him already.

Take it step by step...and make sure you do istikhara as well.