How do you deal with it?
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
in islam you can´t say even uff to your mother or father unleass they go against commands of GOD AND HIS PROPHET.
mothers are always in the favour of their children and you you must show patience or discuss with your father.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Just imagine what you would do if you didn't have your mother...
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
you try to avoid stuff that makes her difficult
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Are you kidding me?
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Are you kidding me?
Does it sound like an impossible thing?
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Why is the OP being bashed?
Yes, Islam does say that you shouldn't even say "uff" to your mother. How many of us are guilty of saying "uff"...more than "uff"....talking back....showing impatience/annoyance through either comments or body language to our parents? That would be many of us. And if entry to heaven were to be based predominantly on perfect obedience/respect to our parents......yikes....I think many of us would be in trouble. And no, I'm not justifying disrespect toward parents.
She used the word "difficult".....so? It's not a cuss word...she's not making fun of her mother. Who hasn't been "difficult" from time to time? I don't understand what's up with some people giving her the guilt trip....and making unsaid assumptions about the OP not being grateful for having a mother, etc.
Deeba, your original post is super duper vague. It's hard to give advice when we don't know exactly what you're going through. And therefore, only "broad" advice can be given. I know that much of this is easier said than done, but here are some suggestions:
1) Acknowledge that you understand where she's coming from. If you start off the argument in a way that validates her or shows that you appreciate/care for her....it can help make her more open to considering opposing views. It's really hard not to lash back and get defensive, but in most cases...it shuts the other person down. Give her opinions some thought...she might be right. Try to meet each other in the middle...compromise. Work on figuring out a compromise.
2) Try not to let the conflict dominate your interactions with her. Continue talking to her about other things, being there for her....and perhaps gradually it will soften her up.
3) Maybe talk to another family member (who has influence) and can reason on your behalf. Or help mediate/reach a compromise.
4) And then sometimes....you just won't see eye-to-eye on things...and you have to accept it and let it go. Focus more on the positive aspects of that person and your relationship with them....and take the good with the bad because it's not easy to change people. Again, it takes effort to put yourself in that frame of mind....but dwelling on the negative can put a strain on the relationship, your quality of life, and possibly lead to regrets in the future.
Ask that poor girl first which difficulties she is going through, after that should be given an advice/comment.
Everyone should respect their mothers, but still this world is not that black on white and everyone should realize that.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
We all have differences of opinions with people who are important for us in our lives and our parents are no different. Sometimes we do end up having different opinions and being children we tend to think that our parents are being difficult.
I have discussions with my mom over the issues whenever we have differences and we tend to find a middle way. Sometimes my mom scolds me when she thinks I am being unreasonable and sometimes I cry whenever I feel that I am not being understood correctly. But its part of the process and usually it all ends well with the issue being resolved for good.
Everyone has different relationships with their mothers and 'dealing' with them would depend on your relationship with her and the issue at hand. Nothing wrong in having issues with our parents. We just need to be patient and respectful enough to understand our parents point of views, conveying ours to them and finding some amicable solution.
Re: A ‘difficult’ mother..
people want not to bash the OP…i get thats fair..
but referring to a mother as ‘it’ ?? thats funny indeed.
a mother is not a thing or an animal. come on!
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
How people are bashing the OP? Where, when? Did miss some deleted posts?
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Just imagine what you would do if you didn't have your mother...
As someone who also doesnt have their mother it is very easy to think like this as we know what we dont have and we have experienced how that affects us. However, at the same time, one should also know that no 2 people are the same. The same rule applies for no 2 sets of parents are the same. No 2 mothers are going to be the same. There is no parent/mother/child handbook, everyone makes mistakes, including parents.
I dont think its fair to judge somebody for having a tricky relationship with their mother just because I dont have mine anymore.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
people want not to bash the OP.......i get thats fair..
but referring to a mother as 'it' ?? thats funny indeed. a mother is not a thing or an animal. come on!
I obviously don't refer to my mother as 'it.'
Grow up..
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
people want not to bash the OP.......i get thats fair..
but referring to a mother as 'it' ?? thats funny indeed. a mother is not a thing or an animal. come on!
The word "it" is replacing/representing the problem in general.....and not specifically the person in question (her mother). I believe that's how most would read/interpret it.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
people want not to bash the OP.......i get thats fair..
but referring to a mother as 'it' ?? thats funny indeed. a mother is not a thing or an animal. come on!
it
it the difficulties that come with a conflicting mother
you fail just stop
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
sorry about that.i read it in continuation as
a difficult mother; how to handle it.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Deebs - I know how you feel and you deal with it only because she is your mother.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Easier said than done - be the bigger person. Accept this is the situation you were born into. And you cannot change it. Lean on people you can trust and who have your best interest in their heart.
Maybe you may even develop compassion for her once you understand the root cause.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
Like RV said depends on the situation. In some situations the answer may be, stop being a difficult child. But in other cases where the mum really is being a bit too smothering, I tend to not act on what she says but I still listen to what she has to say.
Saying that though, I am a boy and you are a girl. I have a sister and I do understand that sometimes the rules are not the same for both. If this is the case I think just talk to her about it.
Actually one of the best solutions to any mother problem would be just talk to her about it.
Re: A 'difficult' mother..
haha =x
just listen to her
and keep repeating "jee, acha acha"