May be a few guppies know me and a lot of u dont but i used to be regular guppy and a flooder too a long time ago then came the sweetest thing in my life my jaan in 2002 march, i luved her a lot to the extent that i could do n e thing for her but for some weird reason she dint feel the same way she was kinda confused so she always called our relationship but even she knew it was somin more n e ways so more than 2 years passed and we kept on playing the hide n seek and for her happiness even sometimes i would agree with her cuz i dint wanna hurt her till dec 27th 2004 when i was leaving for washington and she told me that one of her friends had hooked her up wid this guy and she was gonna meet up wid him and that day somin inside me shattered but i waited around just to see who dat guy was and she saw me waiting and the look that i saw in her eyes said a 1000 things, n e ways when i came back she dint wanna have n ething to do with me khair hotay hotay as i told u it wasnt easy i used to give her blank calls and never said n e thing but somehow she knew it was me so one day she called me and we were “friends” again but then on valentines day 2005 i felt the worst feeling she had already apparently broken up wid dat guy and she was wid me as she dint wanna b alone on valentines day so she took me as a friend while walking she said "that i dunno y but i miss him" and that flipped somin inside ma brain and i was like wateva it is by hook or by crook she is mine i love her and she is no one elses and from that day i dunno due to my obsession for her or wat my trail of lies started till she finally gave in and said that she loved me , i was happy may be the happiest person in the world i couldnt care less about the world or worse even my own family i had fights with them did all sorts of things a son shouldnt, n eways april 2006 my mom is like u got to go to pakistan and that its been 6 years u havent visited pakistan or dubai as i used to live there before moving to toronto, so i left there again i kept on lying to her as i told her that i would be back in 20 days but my parents for some reason kept on extending and 20 days turned into 3 and a half months, when i came back it was like i was back in heaven then i did the unthinkable ek din pyar mein as over board i go i proposed her and i went up to her parents when i dint have a job or any sorta financial security other then a couple of thousand bucks kept on lying to her key ab ho jaayega aur tab ho jaayega till finally the day of the wedding was just 3 days away when i finally realised that i was too deep in the **** hole of my own lies at that time i thought to myself is it worth continue lying and get married to her or should i stop now and she would be hurt but b4 time and so as i justify myself that i luved her i ran away a day later she and her family found me and cussed me out but it was over, then 3 days later she came back in ma life against the will of her family cuz she really luved me but the guilt of leading her on and that i lied to her all along and that i left her on the alter for my selfish reasons i could not forgive myself so in december i asked her to fget me and i left for dubai with the intentions of never coming back and even then i lied to her cuz she kept on crying and pleading to not go but i heard some where that " if you really luv someone and u think u r dangerous for them its better to push them away" so i did and went away making maself the bad guy in her eyes and so time passed on and she is now with someone else and 8 months later i came back. Now what i dont understand is that when everything is bcuz of me and finally when she is happy wat i always wanted and couldnt give to her why is it that i feel that i luv her more then ever , why is it that every nite b4 i go to sleep i ask ALLAH to give me one more chance, Why is it when i should wish for her happiness i wish that she breaks up wid da guy. WHY? i am a selfish lying ******* i know dat but i luv her a lot and i wish i could change a lotta things but …
I just wanted to bring this out in the open as no one knew the truth and probably part of me wanted to say the truth i just hope she gets this message and forgives me. Guys i really need help. I dont know wat i should do. But an advise to all of u who are in love or are about to dont lie to ur partners being honest hurts but in the long run makes ur relationship stronger. Bas itna hee kehna tha shaayad aaj raat 1 saal key baad shayad neend aa jaaye.
I read everything you wrote. I used to think you were a girl lol.
Khair, I think its time for you to move on brotha. If she is happy, then let it be. You cannot break someone's house just to build yours. If this is how Allah willed, then let it be and move on in your life. You might think that you love her more but it may be due to the fact that you never got to marry her (if I understood correctly from your post). This is why Islam tells you to keep your limits and if you do happen to like someone, then marry them. If that is not possible, then move on. This so-called "friendship" causes nothing but problems afterwards.
I read everything you wrote. I used to think you were a girl lol.
Khair, I think its time for you to move on brotha. If she is happy, then let it be. You cannot break someone's house just to build yours. If this is how Allah willed, then let it be and move on in your life. You might think that you love her more but it may be due to the fact that you never got to marry her (if I understood correctly from your post). This is why Islam tells you to keep your limits and if you do happen to like someone, then marry them. If that is not possible, then move on. This so-called "friendship" causes nothing but problems afterwards.
Good answer!
I know this will sound harsh but you had your chance! You left her instead of facing the truth and being honest with her! Now, you gotta let her go and move on - just be happy for her! Dont think and pray that she breaks up with this guy cuz thats not nice @ all - it will take time to let her go but you gotta do it!
Read namaaz and make dua to Allah Tallah to make this pain easier for you! I am sorry for what has happened!
sum messed up story but i kno it hurts soooo much to see that sumbody with sumone elz n not u....but the thing is u had ur chance....and u blew it.....u can pray again n again for another chance but thats up to Allah almighty whether he gives u one or not.....
my advice read ur namazan and ask for forgiveness, make strong relations with ur family again...coz without them ur nothing...u hurt ur parents thats the worst anybody can do to parents...ask ask and ask for forgiveness man....and save up for the future for ur future wifey, think pure and calm.....love Allah and Allah only, have best intentions in ur heart...Allah will have best intentions for u too...
the problem is too personal for me to comment .. i guess. but if u rote this here and expected ne one to advice u to break up her present relationship to get her back for ur self just coz U are huring now.. I dont think its gona happen.. it sounds very cliche'd.. but if u actually really love her.. ( like u say that u do).. let her be. please let her be with the happiness she has now. i am sure getting outa the relationship with u was just as if not more hurtful for her too.. now just coz U have realised that what happened was not the best way out doesnt mean she needs to pay for ur mistakes too.. and if u still want her to come back and all, well then u need to get ur sentiments strait.. u are just Selfish.. not in love at all.. all u are lookin for is for Ur peace of heart regardless of what others have to go thru..
and as far as her forgivin is concirned.. i am sure she will.. let her be.. let her enjoy her life and one day she will be thankful u led her to that.. May Allah give u peace at heart.. Amin!God Bless!
I read your whole post, but just by looking at the beginning I could see where the realtionship was going. Love has to be both ways otherwise it will never work out becasue you cannot force someone to like you. One sided relationships fail becasue it is like a car spinning on one wheel. You will keep going in circles and it will never get you anywhere. Being too nice of a guy is a sign of weakness and will be interpreted as such by the partner.
Speaking from experience, my advise is that you really need to grow up, show maturity, and demonstrate that you are ready for this kind of committment. In successful marriage a woman looks upto a man to be in control and drive the relationship forward. Don't run after somebody who has hurt your feelings and has moved on with thier life...you cannot force someone back. Let her be happy with what she wants to do and find yourself someone who will love you and make you happy. You have two choices...you can either mourn in the past or look ahead and be happy.
abb main kia karon…app he daikhain what this guys is up to… either he is a teenager or he got no life…cuz from his cheesy story …it clearly shows that … this guys life revolve around a girl … which is not normal. Relationships are a part of life…if you have balls to initiate a reliationship…you should have balls to handle the ups n downs… case closed next please…
Sorry guys, but u misunderstood i dont mean that i want to go back wid her or breakup her current relationship, the reason i posted this here was that i no longer could keep this in my chest i wanted to say the truth for once.
Now coming to the ppl who think it is a cheezy story well i know it sux for me but it is reality for me u wanna make ammendments to it and make it a Karan Johar story please go ahead.
And yeah MUALI, u r rite i know it sux that my life revolved around one girl but hey i am not the only retarded loser here there are tons of guys like me around the world specially south east asians.
Now once again i want to re iterate my point that the reason i posted this here was that i wanted to say the truth i surely cant tell her str8 up and i cant go up to my family and tell this whole story so i thought i could get some advise on to how i can stop myself from hurting her again Thats it, unfortunately i made this girl my obsession and called it love and that was not rite and i regret the fact.
And yeah i am not a teenager i just thought here was a nice medium to let my truth out and getting some good advise, i have enough ppl in my life right now who remind me every living moment how immature and selfish i was.
aishaindubai, no she is not a guppan.
Finally Thanks to everyone who actually understood wat i was trying to say and did advise, i do feel better after posting this. I feel ten times lighter may be this is wat i wanted for a long time.
Now how for not to make the same mistake again?!? Take your time. Do it the right way - talk to your parents and involve them in the whole scene. Dont leave them out. This way you will get to know the other party and the girl before you fall in love and get hurt again! Dont make rash decisions and think before you do anything. Please just leave her alone and let her get on with her life while you deal with yours.
I can only advise you to read namaaz and ask forgiveness from Allah Tallah and for relief of the pain that you are going through. I can promise you Kaun, it will help - it really will...
