Everyone knows first impressions are very important in forming an opinion of a person. And then as you get to know them, you keep building on to that opinion. But usually, I’ve seen that a person hardly ever changes so your opinion of them generally stays the same.
I feel like I’ve changed so incredibly much. Five years ago I was a different person, two years ago I was a different person from before, and now I am a totally different person. Maybe some one’s gonna say thats abnormal but that’s not the issue here and especially cuz I know I’m perfectly sane. I think it’s just the quest for myself.
But what I want to know is that how do you reconcile these differences with people’s opinions of you? I know I’ve changed but people are sometimes still carrying around the same opinions on me and it bugs me. They still interact with me the same way and they still treat me the same way. Maybe the differences I’ve gone through arent obvious right off the bat but they are still there and I want people to realize them and to see me in a new light. I KNOW people had very negative opinions about me before and about my morals and values. Now that these things have undergone drastic change (positive), people still talk to me as if I were the same as before.
I’m not just talking about people who are close to me but people on the periphary of my life as well. I guess what I am trying to say is that for me it has always been hard to be who I really am because I automatically think my true self is worthless and try to be what I think others want me to be. Now when I finally am at the point where I am happy to be who I am, I want people to realize cuz that would act as a sort of positive reinforcement.
Ugh I guess I am making no sense and maybe I am falling into the same trap as before, trying to get accepted.
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Sarah Splendor: *
But usually, I've seen that a person hardly ever changes so your opinion of them generally stays the same.
[/QUOTE]
Everyone changes over a period of time, on some people this change is more noticeable than others.
But depending how much of that change (lets say in you friend) affects you and your friendship/relationship with them , you will change your opinion.
e.g. one of my friends from pakistan (like 5 yrs old friend), got so much changed after he met his current girlfriend, that now he only remmebrs me when he need help with his computer problem. So my opinion will offcourse change about him.
so did my opinion changed about him, ???? hell yess.
change is always good. maybe you put so much emphasis on your then self that people came to the conclusion that no matter what happens, you'll never change but then time and cicumstances do change people. no one is immune to change. when its time to change, you'll change automatically. life is about change and if its a positive one then all the best to you :)
Well actually you can only make opinions change through interactions and actions over time. So if you want people to see you as different you have to show them how so. Say you no longer speak urdu with people but if you continue talking in Urdu with those people who assumed you did they will never know. on the other hand if everytime someone spoke to you in urdu you replied in english and sometimes even asked them to speak in english they will know where you are headed.
Sarah, i'd go with what hmcq said. I also think it's the actions and behaviours that make people change their opinions about a person. So just take it slow. Their opinions will change with time.
One thing though, don't over-work yourself trying to change others' perceptions. All that matters is that you know yourself you've changed for the better. People who are close to you automatically come to know it while interacting with you. You haven't changed yourself for the sake of others (or shouldn't). The change has to come from within you, and I'm sure that exactly is what happened. :-)
It is a human nature to be accepted regardless of how one changes towards better or worse. You are giving control to others to approve the changes that you so dearly want for yourself. Whether I accept or reject the new Sarah should not bother you. Live your life as you see fit..don't worry about my perceptions. Even if you have stopped wearing make up..I think I'd still like you :-p Ok i'll try..
SaraS everyone changes, with me ive moved around alot so ppl accept me for who i am even though it may be someone completely different from a year ago
we learn to change our approach in life by all sorts of experiences its what makes us wiser, as for being accepted, changes take time, some ppl automatically become more aware of ure differnt attitude other ppl take more time
whatever happens try to maintain ure new self the one ure most happy with dont let ppl change who u r to fit in, if u arent ure individual self then ure not unique anymore, ull be like everyone else