Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
Is it not bad to judge a judgmental person? 
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
slander in Islam is considered worse than adultery, and Gheebat is considered worse than eating your dead brothers flesh, I am afraid they deformed not reformed.
hehe.. says the man who started a thread called "Full of advise looser"... check out the irony!
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
My approach to such people is to let them be. Most who do that, are not doing it out of spite or malice. They are just doing it to make sure they themselves don't slip back to that behavior. Allah ta'ala is the final judge and He knows what is on our tongues and what is in our hearts.
Just because I made mistakes in my past, does not mean that I cannot stop my own kids (or people that I care about) from making the same mistakes. Now of course, that should not justify backbiting, slandering or gossiping; which are bad character traits anyways regardless of the fact whether you have committed the acts yourself in the post, that you're criticizing now.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
I think it depends, Muzna. If you have really good rapport and a close relationship with someone, then you can maybe get away with reminding them of their own mistakes. I have been in this situation and the way to "soften" that reminder is to first admit your own mistakes and imperfection before proceeding to remind the person of their former ways. Or the other way is to word it in a general way. Or a positive/lighthearted way..."I have a feeling that person will become a strong Muslim in the future just like you. Remember the mistakes of your own wild youth? And now you're MashaAllah very strong, but change doesn't happen overnight for most of us." So you mix the guidance with some flattery. Or you could leave well alone.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
Agreed. Now what if you are the player sitting on the side with this player that is critiquing in a negative manner.....do you say something? You're supposed to be on the same team....so the attitude of this player will affect the rest of the team.
depends not just on you and the person criticizing, but also the player being critiqued, are they there? can they take it, do they want you to fight there battles? do they want you to even bother with this person? is the critic just known to be a critic and everyone takes all their exaggerated statements as just that.
many different situation combos. in some cases it may be worth it to just put a stop to it, in some cases it just creates a mess out of some yip yap that was tuned out by most and would have ended shortly anyways.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
I guess muzna my stance is once you cross a line it is easy to recross again and again. So in my view it is more difficult to break addiction than to not get addicted to begin with. Speaking of cigarettes and drugs specifically and bad habits in general
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
I understand what you're saying D.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
Turning towards religion is a personal decision, and it's for your own soul, not for others. So if prayer brings you peace, and learning about Islam, and practicing it's advice helps you, then good for you. If these people know the first thing about Islam, it's that mocking others or making fun of them or pointing out there faults is not how Rasulullah (SAW) brought anyone closer to God. So the loss is their's. And should you point it out? Yes, you should. They feel like they need to point out how others aren't practicing Islam, so then point out to them that they're not practicing it either by their behavior.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
And honestly these are the people that are turning others off and turn others AWAY from Islam. So something does need to get said to them. If they don't like it, too bad. The deleterious effect they have on our community needs to be addressed.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
I think just let it be because speaking up will only cause more drama. You don't have to indulge in gossip and slandering, just pretend to get busy or simply say oh I didnt notice. They will get the point that you don't want to be a part of it and might just stop. We are constantly evolving and our opinions and personalities are constantly changing and hopefully they will evolve out of this judgy phase.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
hehe.. says the man who started a thread called "Full of advise looser"... check out the irony!
How about looking at what knight said rather than attacking his post due to your bias? Following the herd may be the path of least resistance. But if one were to think independently, one can conclude knight makes a good point. Though conceding that may not be popular.
Back on topic - pious is overrated. Religion is private. Pious synonymous with wearing religion on ones sleeve.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
It seems as if it's okay for religious folks to dish it, but they can't take it. if you criticize someones 'liberal' non-religious lifestyle or ideas, then be prepared to hear criticism of your beliefs as well.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
We all know people that have reformed their lives. Perhaps in their younger days they were the party animal and now they have settled down, married and had kids. Having broken societal "norms" and the laws of deen in the past, they have now become seemingly very religious so that those around them would think them to be pious (the same woman that was sneak-dating the guy behind her family's back and fought with them to marry him now practices hijab and the same guy that supplied the pot to his friends now is hell-bent on sending his kids to Islamic school).
You have maintained your relationship with them over the years and seen the drastic changes in their lifestyle.You now witness them criticizing the acts of others, back-biting and condemning people for doing things that are no more scandalous than what they did themselves. You see them pointing out the flaws in other people and being holier than thou.
What, if anything, do you do? Do you speak up and remind them of their own past?
entire bold text including blue is where they are wrong. Blue part is, what you are stuck at .
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
a question: if billi hasn't finished eating 900 rats yet and hasn't gone on haj as well, means she is allowed to get judgemental all she wants?
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
I would never ever remind people of the past. I feel its a below the belt type of thing to do , no matter how justifiable it feels to do so. Its not something that brings out any good for either people involved.
In particular when someone becomes a different person and has changed them self , who am I to question their religious belief or try and gauge or make fun of their level of belief? I will only be ruining mine , if I do so.
What can be done however , is to let them know if any action of theirs is hurting you. Since none of us are perfect and each one of us has flaws , irrespective of how religious we are , its just the best way in my humble opinion to address an action rather then the whole of that person.
I dont know about others , but for me, anyone who pulls out past skeletons and words and brings them into the discussion as a way of revenge or getting back at a person , I lose respect for them immediately and know that this person is really low in morals and its best to avoid this type of people coz they are vengeful.
Re: 900 choohay khake billi haj ko challi
Doesnt that judging bring you to the same level as that person? how would you then justify yourself being any different that that person?