My daughter is 6 years old. Today she told me she has crush on her class mate. She told me he was in her kindy class and he
had crush on her now she has crush on him.
Honestly i do nt know how to handle this situation. I dont know what to say to her. I dont want her to get negative message or misunderstand the situation?. Please advice?
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
Best thing to do is to act non chalant..listen to what she said, smile and say something like "aww, it's nice to have friends, haina?" And then move on. If you freak out and lecture her, it's only going to draw attention and either a) intrigue her more or b) make her feel ashamed
Dont make a big deal about it right now, likely she just picked up this phrase some other kid at school, it's very common. Later on, like in a few days or so, when she's engrossed in something else or when enough time has passed to where it's slipped her mind, bring it up casually and say something like "Remember when you told me you had a crush on so and so? What does that mean?!". Listen carefully to her response. If she says she doesn't know, laugh it off and say "Well then don't use words where you don't know the meaning! If she gets shy and says.."you know!" Or mentions boyfriend/girlfriend keep the convo light and silly and in an age appropriate way, let her know it's perfectly ok to have a friend that's a boy, because one day when she's grown up like you she'll marry a handsome boy like her daddy, but that's a long ways away, and in school she should always show kindness to all girls and boys and play nicely with all of them together in a group, but "crushes" and such are just silly talk!
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
Op, don't get mad at her for it. That's the worst thing you can do because crushes and attraction are natural feelings that Allah has placed in everyone and it's not uncommon to see this in young children/students. As Khattichic said above, getting angry about it will only draw more attention and curiosity about it which may not be apparent to a parent because when kids become afraid of a parent, they will then hide their feelings from them. It's good that your daughter opened up to you, not every parent-child relationship is like that. And you WANT for your daughter to always be able to share her feelings with you, not just when she's 6, but also when she's 16 and 20 etc etc...but you have to establish that foundation of trust with her. It becomes a bit easier to guide kids when they don't fear you. And you can't shield them from these things because for one they are natural and secondly they will always be exposed to such ideas in the form of fairytale books and Disney etc etc. So keep communication lines open and guide her gently.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
Did she use the word "crush"? I haven't heard children in USA using the word crush especially in kindergarten/first grade. If she just said she "likes" xyz, and xyz like her, I wouldn't fuss too much with it. Anyway, if she even used the word crush, again no need to fuss. Simply talk how you are glad she has a good friend.
Sometime, you can have a casual talk with her about not kissing friends, teachers, etc. We just kiss our parents or siblings. Have a casual talk about no one can touch or talk to her about her private areas and she cannot either. However, we you talk about such topics, make sure you don't bring that friend in the conversation, so she wouldn't feel you might be blaming her.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
relax.
That don't mean she had actual crush. She could be only a smart girl.
Who is more aware of her surroundings and more aware of social dynamics.
Good thing is she would take influence from you easily as well. Don't let such kids
in auto pilot mod. Be social with them.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
Kids are just being kids. They can't possibly even comprehend what that means - she must have heard it somewhere
One day at school on a Princess/knight theme day; My 6 year old daughter's teacher sent me an e-mail that her and a little boy in her class got married 'he even gave her a ring' we just all laughed it off.
And I agree with @Lusi my kids haven't used the word 'crush' yet either in Kindergarten
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
Like Khatti said she cannot have a crush , she has just picked up this word from somewhere..... I mean a 6 year old cannot have a crush.
You will have to be hard with her and tell her to keep the friendship upto a certain limit.... believe me once or twice and she will start understanding....it's a phase and soon be over.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
Lol, this is so cute. Yes, as everyone else is saying, dont take it too seriously. Just down play it. Your daughter will forget about it in few weeks herself.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
My daughter and my nephew(8) are very close and they go to school together too. She had already told him than she had fight with him and she thought he might tell me. He told her its haraam to think this way as his scripture told him. I asked her if she knows what crush is she replied as she knows and crush is love.
I have just said to my nephew and my daughter on the way to school that its ok to have girls and boys as friends. And they should play with everyone at school. And try to be friends with those who have no friends. An dont eat haram food. I wanted to say indirectly.
actually my nephew is very aware of haram and halal things.
I just want her to forget about it.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
You'd be surprised what 6 year olds know and understand these days.
While most children will not fully grasp the subject of 'crushing', there will be the rare ones that do know what sort of emotions it refers to.
They will understand that to have a crush is different and more intense than simply being "friends".
Everyone is right that making a big deal out of it will only draw more attention to a subject matter that you don't want to amplify so downplay it....but since your child seems to have a deeper grasp, don't dismiss it altogether. Drop the necessary hints and keep the communication going.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
It's like my daughter. She learnt the word husband recently. And says it a lot. She thinks my husband is disgusting ) her dad) and that I'm not allowed to have one. But she wants 10.
Sounds funny but it does make me cringe.
Re: 6 years old having crush on classmate
This is your chance to increase her vocabulary. Explain to her what else the word 'crush' means and how one can bring it about.