Has any one dealt with a baby with separation anxiety? My 6 month old has started acting differently lately. Usually he would be okay laying down and playing with his toys while i did stuff around the house. When he would get bored, I would put him his stroller and keep him close and he would coo and talk to me. But for the past 2 weeks he’s started wailing as soon as i walk away from him (even though he has all his toys with him). and he seems extremely unhappy in his stroller as well.
He just wants me to pick him up. I don’t wan’t to spoil him by indulgence, But I really can’t carry him around for too long since he’s a big baby Mashallah and it gets tiring after just a few minutes.
People have been telling me off for spoiling him by picking him up whenever he asks. (I was at a dawat and it was the only way of shutting him up). I’ve tried letting him cry it out, (not more than 15 minutes) just until Iv’e finished up my work , but its getting frustrating now. I can’t even cook or clean or study until he falls asleep at night or takes a nap during the day and thats not enough time for me.
Set aside a routine for him … Part of your planned day for him alone … probably best time is before you intend to leave him alone … You need to tire him out … At this age they are looking for more than passive stimulus … They are looking for interactivity … So 6 months is a good age to get him on the floor and rolling about - egg him on with toys to chase and really speak to him with full clear sentences … that will start to develop his linguistic skills … If he is not crawling get him to try it and prop him back up if he falls - if he is crawling hold him so his feet touch the floor … A warm bath soothes babies well … Coax him on milk before taking him out and keep him clean and he should be good inshaAllah.
I don’t agree with the let him cry approach - when a baby cries pick them up … There is nothing wrong in doing work while he is in a position that he can see you … Keep talking to him while you do your house work - but keep yourself in his line of sight … Use bouncers and/or push chairs rather than cots because you can move them around as you move in the house … Good Luck … Bismillah.
I would suggest the cry it out method, it worked for my older one who is 5 years old now. (by crying it out i mean stay close by and keep an eye on him and don’t pick him up as soon as he starts whining, keep him occupied with other things, toys..etc)
I have also tried the giving in method for my son who’s 3 years old now, he still wants to be carried around and is super attached to me! 6 months is very young though pick him up when needed but do not swing him or carry him around when it’s not necessary. Also try to get other family members such as dad involved with baby, the more people he sees and interacts with the better for him and yourself.
Crying out is a modern technique, very effective, but it has its side-effects - kids will naturally move away from their parents it is not necessary to do this, but doing it early may make the children too independent, it will also pacify them and stunt their progress in other areas … Trust me modernity wants children to be taken care of by the state - Brave New World - Both parents aught to be productive in society.
There are different forms of intelligence - the modern trends show that there is a systematic push to reduce the emotional intelligence of humanity … If you want a caring child then teach him care by caring for him - even if it means that you are getting tired … I’m sorry this is easier said then done … Forgive me, but you are mothers …
hareem…you just don’t know when to put a cork in it, do you?
is it possible that you just don’t see the hypocrisy of your own words (you know the words where you say that you don’t want to be part of anything that is hateful or negative) and actions or are you just too bitter to care?
first you blog about another blog and state that one has nothing to do with the other and people shouldn’t take it personally or be offended. then when someone calls you out on that you deny (omg, I should have used the river in Africa play ).
and now you drag the whole blog war into a completely unrelated thread.
perhaps psyah might want to share with you the sentiment that he expressed in his comment this morning:
**With apologies to psyah bhai and his ever-calming and peace-loving approach.
you guys know how i don’t like to stir the pot like ever giggles but is the kettle calling the coal black- i really thought that you meant in your umrah blog that gs is anything but soul cleansing and then you are the one uchalling the topic where there is not even a need for it. For god sakes she didnt ask how to discipline a 6 month old. I would totally get ur rant but here and now.. I dont!!! To hypocrite kaun hua.. Mujhe waqai main samaj nahi ata. Chalo google kerte hain.
thanks for the advice Psyah. I don’t really believe in the crying it out method, I only use it for a few minutes when i really have to finish up something and can’t hold baby at the same time. I do encourage him to crawl and move about, and he’s learning fast, and i do talk to him while I’m working at something, but he still gets distressed and keeps calling me , and it makes me feel guilty. I’m looking into getting some new toys for him and a bouncer/exersaucer , maybe that’ll work. . If that doesnt preoccupy him, then I’ll just buy a sling and keep him with me all the time : )
Thanks for the advice Jhanjariya. I honestly wanted to try the crying it out method, but I couldn’t do it for too long. It distresses me to hear him cry. You are right though, six months is too young, if he were behaving the same way when he was much older then it would have been an issue. We don’t have any family members where we live, and husband is away all day for work purposes, so its just me and baby.
I thought crying it out was for sleep.. I tried that wih my child at 15 months and it worked. I wont have tried any sooner either!
Six months old do this.. can you get him involved in an activity? does he crawl yet? give him a spoon and a pot and put couple of lil things in there and see if he wants to stir it, play with it for a while? banging pots is theie favorite aorund that age!! shoe box can be very exciting for a child!! Kids go through separation anxiety around this age so no big deal.. If I were you, I would probably just wait util he is 1 to try anything.. at this point it is basically giving him what he wants.. or at least I did. Disciplining, learning etc all started after 1!
My boy loved playing with anything bt his toys! he didnt like the colorful stuff.. he would rather play with a wooden spoon and bang that on the floor than anything else around that age
what your baby is going through is completely normal. at this age, they’re becoming aware that you are, in fact, not an extension of their self, so when you walk away, to them its frightening as all heck because they think you’ve ceased to exist entirely. poor kiddo! pick him up if need be- you CANNOT spoil a child this young by holding them too much. that’s all BS and desi parenting nonsense. can you take his high chair with you into the kitchen if you are cooking so he can play just outside and still see you? indulge the kiddo. too soon he’ll be grown up and entirely too happy to play on his own and you’ll remember these days.
also NO to crying it out. like i said, mentally, he thinks you’re gone. that you don’t exist anymore. that he’ll never see you again. can you imagine how frightening that would be for a baby? on top of that, to not come back on purpose and let them cry and continue thinking that? its cruel and unnecessary punishment, and entirely uncalled for. you’re his mama and he’s just figuring out the world around him and you are a crucial part of it- the most important thing in his life. take your time with him. i know it can get frustrating but that’s parenting for you! a sling is a great idea, or a bouncer, a high chair, even a playmat. he won’t care what he’s doing, he just wants to see you.
Muzna, I don’t understand? Dint she say people tell her not to pick him up coz that will make him spoiled? Why can’t you give me a break? I don’t even want to argue with you women…para nahi AAP logon ka kya masla hai? Blog kahan say as gya beech main?
oh dear…maybe I was wrong to fly off the handle hareem…
perhaps you can clear up the confusion for me.
where exactly did the mention of taking the baby to dawats come into this discussion?
and that too dawats where people talk “BS”?
what does that sentence have to do with this thread?
**okay…I owe money to those that said she would come back and be all cow-eyed…pretending she doesn’t know what’s wrong. I guess I gave her too much credit.
I think my wife was responding to that bit in the first post … Yes, her passion may have been fuelled by the blog, but it is also true that her response here is not about the blog at all.
On forums some can write stuff, others can delete stuff … But those records on the shoulders of people will tell everything on that Day … We should be more concerned about that Day … True or False?
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend anyone…I was saying the same thing what STG said in her post about the myth of spoiling child by picking him up. I said she can avoid such people by avoiding the dawats or meet ups etc.
granted and accepted.
the problem is not with her passion…
it is to do with her willingness to accept that her words and actions contradict each other.
Very true.
on a side note: do let me know if you are okay with me deleting the posts related to this specific exchange. I think we all understand the point that was trying to be made.
Excersaucer would be awesome!!! My son went theough horrible sep anxiety… This was the only thing that helped. I would drag it along with me wherever i went in the house… Amazing creation.
And i agree… Crying it out is a sleep tactic… Not something to use in the day when the kid is wide awake. Poor thing would get the fright of his life if u went away on purpose.
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