It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change
the admittance policy. The new law was that, in order to get into
heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The
policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to the gates of heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly says to
the man, ‘Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was
going when you died.’
‘No problem,’ the man says. 'I came home to my 25th floor apartment
in my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked and appearing to be
having an affair, but her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately
began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the
entire apartment. Just as I was about to give up, I happened to
glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging
off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
‘Well, I ran out onto the! balcony and stomped on his fingers until
he fell to the ground. But wouldn’t you know it, he landed in some
trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn’t die. This ticked
me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing
I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first
thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out
onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted
25 storeys and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so
great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.’
The angel sits back and thinks for a moment. Technically, the guy
did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the angel announces,
‘OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,’ and lets him in.
A few seconds later the next guy comes up. ‘Before I can let you in,
I need to hear about what your day was like when you died.’
The man says, 'No problem. But you’re not going to believe this.
I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily
exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing
hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped,
and accidentally fell over the side! ‘Luckily, I was able to catch
myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a
sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts
cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well of course I fell. I hit
some trees and bushes at the bottom that broke my fall so I didn’t
die right away. As I’m laying there face up on the ground, unable
to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his
refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and
lands on top of me, killing me instantly.’
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.
‘I could get used to this new policy,’ he thinks to himself. ‘Very well,’
the angel announces, ‘welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,’ and he
lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel is
warming up to his task. ‘OK, please tell me what it was like the day
you died.’
The man says, ‘OK, picture this. I’m naked inside this refrigerator…’
