Re: 2011 Brides
Awe… I feel like you and I share alot of the same feelings…except I am getting married here and missing out on all the relatives and being surrounded by your luved ones…instead it is going to be surrounded by the “communities” who will only judge and critique…yay for me.
My mom is making me recite the quran too in front of everyone… for a quran khani done for me that ends with a dua. I dont want to do it but you can not really say no. I know its good and all…but eh… i rather have that day to relax…
I really wish our weddings were like goray people…where the bride and groom have all the say in everything and they plan it according to their budget. They thoroughly enjoy their one day and then go off to enjoy their honeymoon. There is no tension..nothing…looks like good times from beginning to end. I know this for a fact bc most of my fiance’s goray friends are married and my best friend who is gori is also currently engaged.
The elders just give their opinions and dakhal too much… its a viscious cycle in our society…they never had a say in their weddings so they live vicariously by planning their kids. And for those of us living in the west… i think it is harder for us to accept it after seeing so many other people not go through all the stress of planning and dramas that stem from it.
Keep your chin up Monkey Mirch and remember the main thing: you are marrying a wonderful person and you will be spending the rest of your life with him. You will have many opportunities to plan things the way you want them and make things go your way. Just pray for a luving and happy marriage. And that is the biggest happiness of it all.
I find the more you accept that others are wanting to have things their way… the less you feel anxious and the stress leaves you. It’s just becomes necessary to make peace with the facts of whats going on around you.
xoxo 