Excuse any errors. I need sleep, among other things.
These awards are conducted upon the transmissions of Geo, ARY and PTV Prime.
Best song-and-music-video - Faakhir’s Toba Hai
Best video created in India where another artist has lost his mind. On that note, I’m not gonna hounding after Faakhir sayin he’s great. He’s not. He has a lisp. He’s short. His Toba Hai video reminded me of just why I don’t watch Indian movies, and just why I would prefer having a rib removed to watching it again.
Best drama - That…thing with guys with wardrobe malfunctions.
Best use of bi’s…or tranny’s. Christ I don’t even KNOW. Also, everyone cried a lot. I liked that. Just as I like a fork in the eye.
Best music show - Katakut.
Best music show to have an annoying monkey in between sometimes good music videos. Buddy has issues though. Starting with his name. Also, can he play any musical instrument? He admitted to not being able to play the guitar. He can’t sing. Maybe he can play the spoons on his head.
Best Bad-execution - Geo’s Telefilms.
All of existance will be swallowed by a giant dragon with a cold when I finally understand why telefilms are just like the dramas, except shorter. Melodramatic and often ripe with bad acting. Good idea though, until they made it so bad it hurts.
Best channel-to-not-have-email-addresses - PTV Prime.
This is a clear winner. The shows have addresses at domains such as the illustrious hotmail, and the classy aol.
Best charity show - I don’t even remember.
Someone came up with the idea of holding a live transmission from Pakistan. Just cause it’s for charity, doesn’t mean it’ll be successful if it’s 4 am in Pakistan and half your audience is asleep.
Best host - Dr. Amir Liaquat.
This man’s a treat to watch. By a treat, I mean, it’s kinda like having your mouth explored by a small bulldozer.
Best end-of-career-show - Loose Talk.
I don’t even know where to start. It’s just not funny.
Best Oprah-ripoff - Heart to Heart
Mhmm, a set that looks nice, Greek and fake. A hostess who likes interrupting her guests and also likes holding cards or SOMETHING that have her name on them.
Best ad - Roti Boti restaurant.
Dancing chicken tikka’s get my goin. I wanted to fly out to wherever it is and personally put a boot to the guy who’s talkin on the phone at the end.
Stupidest-channel-that-finally-realized-its-niche-and-started -showing-Uncle-Urfi-and-Studio-Dhai - PTV Prime.
This one was a toughun to pick. But hey, no other channel has access to things like Alpha Bravo Charlie. Now if only they’d show Dhuwan and Tanhaiyaan.
Best English - They all win.
Trophies will be accompanied by large burly men who are coming to smash their heads in. Trophies are in the shape of cricket bats.
RT man good going