yeap.. just two weeks left.. ur friends been trying for the past 3 years to tell his fam he doesnt want to marry the girl hes engaged to… u’ve been listening to ur friend for the past year and half talk about it…
and although u feel sorry for the person on the other end who has no idea they are not the dreamgirl/guy for their ‘fiance’.. u cant help feeling sorry for ur friend.. and thinking its cruel to be tied into such an important relationship without ur consent…
the story is.. i got a friend whose supposedly getting married in 2 weeks.. all the arragements have been made.. hes been telling his fam that he’s not ready.. and doesnt want to marry this girl… but has been told.. ‘shes good for u…’..
all the forced marriages i know so far actually turned out just fine, the couples couldn't be happier. i think it's just this corrupted modern world, that gets to kids heads these days. unless ur friend likes someone unless, i'd tell em to stick with it. tell him not to take life so seriously, it's not that big of a deal. just learn how to get along. take it as an adventure not a forced marriage. he has every day to look forward to and see if he will fall in love with her or not. pretty soon they'll both be tied up in all the worldly normal things again, and he won't even remember what he felt like. ne ways i wish them the best of luck.
Hmmm this reminds me of one of my female cousins who was forcefully engaged with another cousin by her family but she had guts to break it off after FOUR long years which was 2-3 weeks before the wedding. Exact same situation!
well this friend of mine thinks he may break it off too... lekin i dunno.. i honestly dont know what to say anymore.. the more i think about it the more i freak out..
yeah true a lot of forced marriages do work out.. and i think if he goes thru with it.. hes gonna make it work regardless of he wanted to get married or not.. hes just like that.. will put everything into it.. but i think its just against his principals to be doing it this way ..
i hope Allah Mian guides him Inshallah.. hes one of the funniest and liveliest persons i know....
Lets hope for the best for both of them.Sometimes you dont know and things go very smoothly eventually.I know of a person who broke off his engagement just 1 week before shadi when the cards were already sent to friends and relatives,i could not tell you what kind of misery that girl and the whole family went through.Its already too late for your friend sadzz,hope for the best for them both :-)
I agree with digital, its between this guy, his finance, his and her family. But as human beings we cannot bear to see our loved ones in pain nor can we bear to see them make "mistakes". Although, I have learned from experience that sometimes you need to let them make "mistakes" so that they can learn from the experience but this isn't one of those situations.
Marriage is one of the most important relationships in our lifetimes. Its a relationship which needs to be cultivated properly and a forced marriage (which is against Islam) is just not the proper foundation for this eternal bond. I don't feel sorry for neither your friend nor his fiance. His sorry ass needs to **break it off immediately **so that she won't be bound to him for life or atleast a miserable few years. Honestly who wants to be married to a guy who doesn't want to be married to you regardless of whether he has someone else in his heart or whether he really isn't ready for marriage. If doesn't have the guts to confront his family for his own sake, he has every right to be miserable for his own inaction and procrastination but has no right to effect another individual because of his choices. He can screw up his own life but he can't drag someone else into it, so its best that he break it off. Its like, if you smoke, great but don't let that smoke near someone else. By allowing his family to force this marriage when it is against his will, not only is he allowing them to ruin his own life, but he in turn is ruining her life. In the long run, she is much better off without him, although she may be hurt immediately (or maybe not, if she thinks like me).
Or your friend can let her know what type of situation she is getting into. Tell her that he doesn't want to marry her b/c of whatever reasons and see what she wants to do. If she wants to continue with this and if your friends has no guts to face his parents then they take equal responsibilty and he's no longer responsible in making her miserable.
thats the problem.. he does have guts.. and hes confronted his family on numerous occassions.. he usually has the support of his brothers and sisters.. but this time even they have given up and decided this is for his best..
true its not my problem at all.. but i was just wondering what would someone do if they were in a situation like that.. i know for a fact hes gonna be a lovely husband if he goes thru with it.. lekin i dunno..
i know a lotta girls go thru what hes going thru.. and if he was female.. we'd all be feeling sorry for him.. thats the way life is i guess... and cus hes a male we assume its his fault and he should have the guts to say it...
i dunno... Inshallah something happens for the best of both of them... i dont wanna see him in pain nor his family... and the girl.. i just feel sorry for her..
Muni has eloquently written my exact thoughts. :k:
He should break it off immediately. He’s only going to resent his wife after the marriage. It isn’t her fault … but she will feel the brunt of his anger for his family forcing him into this marriage.