Hi all, i’m new to Gupshup (well posting that is, have been reading stuff on here for a while) and i’d like some advice from mums and dads. I have a baby girl who is 5 months old and i just found out that i’m expecting another one (totally unplanned!) due in December, meaning the age difference between the two of them will be just 13 months!
So, i’d just like to know if anyone else has been in a similar position and how they handled it? did it affect your relationship with the older child?
I’m really quite scared that i just won’t be able to manage… btw I’m a stay-at-home mum, i don’t have any relatives nearby (moved to UAE from UK after getting married)
any advice or tips would be much appreciated…thanks
I can relate to your dilemma perfectly well. When my eldest daughter was 4 months, I was expecting my 2nd daughter and as a result they were born exactly 13 months apart. For me it worked out very well, I had plenty of help and support and I guess that is what you will be missing. Would your local mother and baby group help out, does your husband help you as it is? Are you able to have any of your in laws around to help out or can your family members/siblings visit when they can?
I really wish you all the best for your impending pregnancy. My daughters are best friends now, they have similar interests in clothes and fashion and my eldest didn't feel left out at all when I had my second. In fact, she relished in it so much she would help me with mummy chores when it came to baby and since they were co close in age, they just looked adorable when they were strapped in their double buggy.
Im sure it will be OK with you. Oh and congratulations by the way!
they just looked adorable when they were strapped in their double buggy.
lol, that's so cute
yeah, i've read that there can be less jealousy between the two.
well my in-laws live abroad and there may be a chance my mum-in-law can come and stay for a while.... hubby helps out when he gets back from work, but i'll be alone during the day, i think i will find out about mother and baby groups locally.
I haven’t had this, but my mom did. This is the exact age difference between my brother and me. She says in many ways it was okay because we were going through things together developmentally and we kept each other busy. She doesn’t talk about the negative aspects, but I guess we were two really good babies. :halo:
Me and my brother are 12 months apart and like Sahar... my mom doesn't complain about it. She has good things to say about raising two kids together. You'll need help though with household work and taking care of the babies while you recover. So that's one thing you should worry about other than that I think you'll be fine IA.
wish it was me,...i have a daughter 6 months mashallah.
for me, id rather have 2 or 3 kids quickly, and then get on with life. and go back to work once all are at nursery age.....why wait the 2years between each child.....i find it was wastingg time and a dozen years....
I preferred close age gap too. Not for any particular reason or to get over having babies but I just thought 2 to 3 years would be a good difference.
I have a friend who had her 2 kids just like that and she is working. She lives in a joint family and had help from MIL.
Everyone's situation is different but inshaAllah you will find a way.
I dont think 1 year olds have jealousy or understand it , i think it is more with the 2 year olds who need to be taught sharing and who get jealous.
1 year olds also sleep atleast either twice during the day or for longer period in the afternoon depending how you set the schedule so you can get some sleep as well.
I had two under two. Just like you I was nervous about not giving my older one attention. I enlisted a lot of family support, made her a bit independent, got her to sleep with her dad in another room if it was needed.
It's do-able but start planning now. If you don't have any relatives, it would be nice if she went to a play/day care for 1/2 a day even for 2-3 days. It would help her socialize and would help you recover for 2-3 months with a newborn.
I'm MashaAllah having 2 daughters with a age gap of 10,5 months. They r now MashaAllah 13 months and 11 wks. I'm on my own when husband is on work. I do all the housework and shopping myself. It's important to get ur wee one into a routine. U can then plan ur day. The first weeks, the first months will defo feel difficult, but u will InshaAllah manage. U have to manage. No choice. My wee one was even colicky baby, bt Alhamdulillah she is much better now. It was hard when it was bed time for the elder one and the wee one had her crying hours.
Everyone says that it will pay me for the hard time now when they get elder will keep them self busy together.
Allah will give u strenght and himmat. U have to be strong. U will defo manage, coz u have no choice...u have to manage. Wish u all the very very best.
My sister and I are 13 months apart and its really nice because we're really close. I recently had a baby and asked my mom how she did it with two kids so close together and she said that having someone help her for the first two - three months of my sister being born was key.....see if you can have a relative stay with you for the first little bit, just to help with the transition.
As salamelikum
COngratss dear. i wish u a very healthy pregnency (Ameen)
I have one daughter 15 months old and a son 3 months old. It gets difficult sometimes. Especially at time of sleeping when both of them are crying together. I have a lot of support from my mom and hubby. I stayed with my mom for 2 months. Now im at home but I do go to stay at mom for 2 days. I have also got a maid for 3-4 hours. I hope it will b easy in long run.
I have been reading here since years but its my first post here...........
