19 year old kills himself live on the internet

cricketplaya · November 24, 2008, 10:14pm

I am sure you’ve heard this news.. happened on the 19th…

here is the suicide note he left:

Ask a guy who is gonna OD (again) tonight anything
To Whom It May Concern,
I am going to leave this for whoever stumbles across my bookmarks later on.
I hate myself and I hate living. I think that if someone who knows me
reads this they will know who I am. So I will leave this unsigned. I am
an a@hole. I have let everyone down and I feel as though I will never
change or never improve. I am in love with a girl and I know that I am
not good enough for her. I have come
to believe that my life has all been meaningless. I keep trying and I
keep failing. I have thought about and attempted suicide many times in
the past. I used to think of my failure as some mystical way of telling
me that I was really meant for something meaningful. The only thing I
dread, besides the pain, is the way my family will suffer. I do not want
my mother or father to think that it was anything they did that lead me
to kill myself. I never really had any plans of leaving a note. I
thought that I would not be able to describe why I want to do this and I
am right. There is no way to tell you or anyone else why I dread every
new day. My father had such high expectations for me and tried to give
me every opportunity to improve upon myself. I let him down. I think
that I am a major disappointment to him. I have a job but I?m always broke
and I am in college but barely, I show up to class but that?s about it.
I want my life to end. I am tired of f@#$ing up everything. I
am tired of people always telling me that they do not like me. I am
tired of trying to be decent. I hope that someone finds this post and I
hope that my parents know that I f@#$ed up not them. It is my fault I
screwed up my own life.
The hate that rages within me, rages not for those I love so dearly or
those who have crossed my path.
This hate rages full force towards me and only me.
I have long forgiven those who’ve hurt me, but I have not and cannot
come to terms to forgive myself for the things I have done to myself, and
the things I’ve done to hurt those in my life.
You have all touched my life in one way or another,
especially those whom I call family.
I cannot tell you how sorry I am for ending my life the way I did. I
hope that you can all find it in your heart to see it as way for me not
suffering anymore and that I am finally at rest with myself, for being at
rest with the guilt that constantly ate at me for so long.
Please forgive me all for taking my own life so early. I tried so hard
to fight against this strong battle. I have reached out for help so many
times, and yet I believe, I was turned away because of the things I did,
that it is a punishment I am willing to take, for I know that being who I am
has only brought myself and others pain.
I love you all and will forever live within the memories we created.
Forgive me.
Love always and forever,
As for my signature I will leave you with a quote so that if anyone
reads this they will know it’s me, “Can?t feel pain if your dead? Just Saying”

story: globeandmail.com: Cyber suicide

can’t believe it… people really didn’t care watching all this unfold.

inzi_rocks · November 24, 2008, 10:24pm

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

:( Thats well touching.....

UZ · November 24, 2008, 10:28pm

Thats sad :(

Lucid_Chaotic · November 25, 2008, 2:06am

That's what saddens me more...

I'm not sure how I would be able to live with myself for the rest of my life if I told the guy to (quote from the article) “You want to kill yourself? - Do it, do the world a favour and stop wasting our time with your mindless self-pity.”

Extremely sad event... should make us all realize that there is a real person behind every screen handle and even though your identity may be anonymous, your words may find real meaning in someone's actions.

Sheroz · November 25, 2008, 2:14am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

Sooooo sad........:( :( :(

unknownme · November 25, 2008, 4:48am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

I wish people would realise the power of prayers rather than the power of suicide. What a sad thing to happen to such a young person.

Sara516 · November 25, 2008, 4:53am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

Maybe hte people didn't think he was serious?

XChorniX · November 25, 2008, 4:58am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

i thought they saved him? :-/

haimeradil · November 26, 2008, 2:24am

this is so sad.

yeh zalim duniya wale

poor guy. so young.

cricketplaya · November 26, 2008, 2:43am

well, he tried to overdose before didn't work out well. so the people knew what he was trying to do... plus these people knew what he was taking anyways.. but don't blame them much since his intention was to kill himself anyways. o well.

saieen · November 26, 2008, 4:29am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

it was his time to go. no body could have done anything to stop him from going. jab jis ki aaye hai so aaye hai.

_MuNiYa · November 26, 2008, 4:31am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

Please tell me this is a hoax...
thats just so sad 19!

lazarrus · November 26, 2008, 4:40am

Re: 19 year old kills himself live on the internet

hmm .. :-?