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Get 24 boxes of condoms; randomly put them in people’s carts when they aren’t looking.
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Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals.
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Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms.
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Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, ‘Code 3 in housewares,’ and see what happens.
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Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M’s on lay-by.
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Move a ‘CAUTION - WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.
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Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department.
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When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, 'Why can’t you people just leave me alone?
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Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose.
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While handling knifes in the men’s department ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
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Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from ‘Mission Impossible’.
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In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different size funnels.
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Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say, ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!!!’
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When an announcement comes over the loud speaker assume the foetal position and scream ‘NO! NO! It’s those voices again’.
And last but not least…
- Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly, HEY…We’re out of toilet paper in here!’
