Hey. I am kind of new here. I was going to put this up on babycenter but changed my mind. This i think is a better place.
I am a working mother to a beautiful 13 month old daughter. I started solids with her when she was 5 months old, like so many people do. She had no problems with it. There were foods that she liked and foods that she didn’t, which is perfectly normal. She would eat appropriate portions of balanced meals and was gaining weight like a baby her age should.
But the last 3 months have been so difficult. She started to refuse meals here and there, i didn’t fret much since she was getting enough milk. Now it has gotten to a point where she has stopped eating solids all together. I have tried so many different foods, flavours and textures. She wouldn’t even open her mouth to get a taste of it. I never cared when my mother or MIL side-eyed me for not pinning her to the bed and shoveling spoon fulls into her mouth if she refuses to eat shrafat se. For one thing she had reflux and still has a sensitive gag reflex, and that this is not my style of parenting.
But i am at my wits end now. She has just started to walk and all she takes in all day is 30oz to 35oz of milk.
She is MashaAllah sleeping through the night and will take a 6oz to 7oz bottle before bed. I tried not giving her a bottle when she wakes up in the morning. She was obviously hungry and would take a niwala in her mouth when i offered it. But just pushed it out without even chewing once. I tried that for a few days but that just resulted in one less bottle of milk a day.
I have been advised by my dr nand to cut back on the milk and see if she takes solids. She didn’t. Cried and cried for milk and i eventually gave in.
I am at a complete loss as to what i should do. Please help.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Is doctor nand pediatrician?
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
No. She is doing her residency in gynaecology.
That is way too much milk for a 13 month old. After their first birthday, their main nutrition should come from food and not milk.
Cut back on milk. Dont give in.
Also, is she teething? Molars or canines are very difficult to cut and can be a hard time for some toddlers..
If its teething.. then you just havta wait it out...
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
She is teething, yes. She cut her first 2 teeth when she was 8 months old. But she was eating fine at that time. She has 4 teeth now and i noticed another one this morning. If teething was the reason, wouldn't it all have started when she got her first tooth?
I know milk doesn't provide all the nutrients she needs at this point. That is why i made this thread. How should i go about cutting back the milk in take? I mean where do i start? Should i increase the time in between bottles? Or do i just skip a bottle and wait till she is hungry and offer solid?
I am a first time mom and had bad PPA. It still tends to surface. So pretty clueless about a lot of things.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Give her one bottle in morning when she wakes up and one at bedtime...
At this age breastfeed/formula should be down to 2-3 times a day at most!
Don't give in.. Maybe give her stuff like fruit smoothies once or twice durinf the day and see if she likes it.
And make an appointment with your paed
Canines and molars are a whole lot harder to cut than the front 4 teeth. Some babies even throw.up due to excessive saliva buildup. So even if she didnt.feel.bothered by the first 4, these new ones may be irritating her more.
When she wakes up... give her bfast. Whatever have you. If she likes mushy stuff then porridge with pureed fruit maybe. If she likes solids then egg and toast?
And milk at the end, however much she wants.
No milk during the day. Offer cheese, or fruit yoghurt.
You are.gonna havta be tough...the amount of milk she is drinking, no way will she feel hungry for solids. You hage to create the hunger by just going down on the number.of.bottles...
Take it slow... teething babies are picky and hard to feed. See how far you can go with her... in regards.to pushin solids.over.milk.
Good.luck
Agree with khawa. Don't give in. Kids are master manipulators and most mama's are designed to be mush.
So my story is almost identical to yours. Working mom. My girl started teething at 4 MO n was a great eater since 5mo of age. However somewhere around 1.5 to 2yo she became incredibly picky n was living on milk.
I couldn't say no to her milk knowing she hadn't eaten anything but a bite all day ... so initially gave in ... but eventually toughened up n cut bk on milk to 8 oz per day. There wasn't, still arnt any miracles happening for me. She is four now and still a v v picky eater ... But she does eat (chooses from a handful of foods she likes) and is 70%percentile wt n height.
Keep trying mama. You can do it.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Give her one bottle in morning when she wakes up and one at bedtime...
At this age breastfeed/formula should be down to 2-3 times a day at most!
Don't give in.. Maybe give her stuff like fruit smoothies once or twice durinf the day and see if she likes it. And make an appointment with your paed
I am definitely going to make an appointment with the paed as soon as the eid holidays end. But i have a feeling he is going to go down the 'less milk' route too.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Canines and molars are a whole lot harder to cut than the front 4 teeth. Some babies even throw.up due to excessive saliva buildup. So even if she didnt.feel.bothered by the first 4, these new ones may be irritating her more.
When she wakes up... give her bfast. Whatever have you. If she likes mushy stuff then porridge with pureed fruit maybe. If she likes solids then egg and toast? And milk at the end, however much she wants.
No milk during the day. Offer cheese, or fruit yoghurt.
You are.gonna havta be tough...the amount of milk she is drinking, no way will she feel hungry for solids. You hage to create the hunger by just going down on the number.of.bottles...
Take it slow... teething babies are picky and hard to feed. See how far you can go with her... in regards.to pushin solids.over.milk.
Good.luck
She never liked purees much and used to prefer chunks/chewable foods.
Toughening it up part is the hardest for me. It is going to take days before she gets used to the new routine. And she will be cranky and hungry during that time. Won't she lose weight? What if she refuses to eat? She is one hard headed little lady and is very very prone to throwing tantrums when forced to do something she doesn't want. Throws herself on the floor and screams bloody murder and all.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Agree with khawa. Don't give in. Kids are master manipulators and most mama's are designed to be mush. So my story is almost identical to yours. Working mom. My girl started teething at 4 MO n was a great eater since 5mo of age. However somewhere around 1.5 to 2yo she became incredibly picky n was living on milk. I couldn't say no to her milk knowing she hadn't eaten anything but a bite all day ... so initially gave in ... but eventually toughened up n cut bk on milk to 8 oz per day. There wasn't, still arnt any miracles happening for me. She is four now and still a v v picky eater ... But she does eat (chooses from a handful of foods she likes) and is 70%percentile wt n height. Keep trying mama. You can do it.
How long did it take for your daughter to understand that she is going to have to eat afterall? And how did you yourself handle the transition?
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Even with food, it is pretty much like what they say about every other aspect of a baby's life (eg sleep training) be consistent.. Stick to the routine etc..
You are going to have to be strict.. No two ways about it...it will take a few days but she'll get the drift eventually :p
Btw, was she eating the bland babyfood? With my daughter, i switched to give her what we eat thing around this age... She prefers daal/sabzi/qeema roti to the sujis and bland porridges... Maybe give her a bite or two of whatever you are having...
Don't worry about the weight... She'll gain it back eventually.. Just keep her well hydrated...
Do your research about how to go about it...discuss with paed asap and get on with it
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
Even with food, it is pretty much like what they say about every other aspect of a baby's life (eg sleep training) be consistent.. Stick to the routine etc.. You are going to have to be strict.. No two ways about it...it will take a few days but she'll get the drift eventually :p Btw, was she eating the bland babyfood? With my daughter, i switched to give her what we eat thing around this age... She prefers daal/sabzi/qeema roti to the sujis and bland porridges... Maybe give her a bite or two of whatever you are having...
Don't worry about the weight... She'll gain it back eventually.. Just keep her well hydrated... Do your research about how to go about it...discuss with paed asap and get on with it
She never liked any kind of cereal or porridges except sagodana. Everything i feed her always has a taste to it. She used to love all fruits but won't eat them now. She was eating omelette, potato from a salan, french toast, chicken ka qeema, pulao etc. She liked parathas too. And it is breaking my heart to write all this in past tense, she wouldn't eat a single one of these things now.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
How long did it take for your daughter to understand that she is going to have to eat afterall? And how did you yourself handle the transition?
she got it within one week. its not that she began to eat whatever was offered her within a week .. its that she understood that she wasnt getting milk until she ate something first in one week. she did an still does have days where she eats nothing but one or two bites of something. but those instances are getting fewer and fewer in number as she grows.
Trust me (im a physician as well) and your pediatrician when they say ...children do not go hungry. They will eat when hungry. they may eat less if they dont like the option but they will eat. there may be some weight loss ... mine did lose weight ... but wt loss is acceptable as long as the child has not fallen of the growth chart altogether (that would be 10%ile or less). I accepted the weight loss in my daughter because i didnt like the alternative of her developing deficiencies leading to severe anemia and other illnesses ... which would lead to frequent doc visits, lab draws or god forbid hospitalization ....
how was it for me? terrible, to be frank. she used to cry for milk... hug me and cry. its very very difficult as a mother to deny your child sustenance.
I would just hold her n let her cry an explain to her that it was mamas rule and Dr. H (her pediatricians) rule that she eat before she gets dudu. so after a first few days of bhook hartal and lots of repetition of same words over n over n over from me n her father and her babysitter ... she would eat a few bites and then would get 4 oz milk. if she wanted more milk ... she'd have to eat a specific quantity of something solid (like one strawberry,or an apple slice, or 1/2 slice toast, an egg etc) and would get rewarded with a bit more milk and so on ....plenty of tears throughout that. i would take her to the fridge and let her pick out whatever she wanted ... i didnt worry about it being healthy in the beginning ... goal was just to have her eat something. anything.
i wasn't able to do it cold turkey ... she was drinking approx 100 oz of milk in 24 hrs .... i cut it down 8oz at a time ... so equivalent of one less bottle very week.
on particularly bad days ... i supplemented her once a day (bedtime) with pediasure. she calls it her special dudu :)
so as a working mama... this was extra hard on me. offering a kid anywhere from three to five eating options, finding the patience to not lose it during tantrums after a long work day (i work 12-14 hr days) and worrying incessantly during work about her was rough/stressful. There were plenty times when it would have been just easier to give her the damned milk ... but somehow by sheer will power we stuck to our guns and it really has paid off.
btw she remained in overll good health despite some wt loss during all of this. she is 4 yo now and has never had to have any antibiotics. gets an occasional cold as we all do but alhumdulillah was (still is) very energetic, very active, happy and healthy.
this morning she actually asked me for breakfast (i wish i could explain to you how amazing that is for me) and had half of buttered cinnamon toast and small bowel of noodles (see we are still working on the healthy appropriate foods part) and a cup of milk.
sorry about the insanly long post but clearly i have a lot to say on the topic :D
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
she got it within one week. its not that she began to eat whatever was offered her within a week .. its that she understood that she wasnt getting milk until she ate something first in one week. she did an still does have days where she eats nothing but one or two bites of something. but those instances are getting fewer and fewer in number as she grows.
Trust me (im a physician as well) and your pediatrician when they say ...children do not go hungry. They will eat when hungry. they may eat less if they dont like the option but they will eat. there may be some weight loss ... mine did lose weight ... but wt loss is acceptable as long as the child has not fallen of the growth chart altogether (that would be 10%ile or less). I accepted the weight loss in my daughter because i didnt like the alternative of her developing deficiencies leading to severe anemia and other illnesses ... which would lead to frequent doc visits, lab draws or god forbid hospitalization ....
how was it for me? terrible, to be frank. she used to cry for milk... hug me and cry. its very very difficult as a mother to deny your child sustenance. I would just hold her n let her cry an explain to her that it was mamas rule and Dr. H (her pediatricians) rule that she eat before she gets dudu. so after a first few days of bhook hartal and lots of repetition of same words over n over n over from me n her father and her babysitter ... she would eat a few bites and then would get 4 oz milk. if she wanted more milk ... she'd have to eat a specific quantity of something solid (like one strawberry,or an apple slice, or 1/2 slice toast, an egg etc) and would get rewarded with a bit more milk and so on ....plenty of tears throughout that. i would take her to the fridge and let her pick out whatever she wanted ... i didnt worry about it being healthy in the beginning ... goal was just to have her eat something. anything. i wasn't able to do it cold turkey ... she was drinking approx 100 oz of milk in 24 hrs .... i cut it down 8oz at a time ... so equivalent of one less bottle very week. on particularly bad days ... i supplemented her once a day (bedtime) with pediasure. she calls it her special dudu :)
so as a working mama... this was extra hard on me. offering a kid anywhere from three to five eating options, finding the patience to not lose it during tantrums after a long work day (i work 12-14 hr days) and worrying incessantly during work about her was rough/stressful. There were plenty times when it would have been just easier to give her the damned milk ... but somehow by sheer will power we stuck to our guns and it really has paid off.
btw she remained in overll good health despite some wt loss during all of this. she is 4 yo now and has never had to have any antibiotics. gets an occasional cold as we all do but alhumdulillah was (still is) very energetic, very active, happy and healthy.
this morning she actually asked me for breakfast (i wish i could explain to you how amazing that is for me) and had half of buttered cinnamon toast and small bowel of noodles (see we are still working on the healthy appropriate foods part) and a cup of milk.
sorry about the insanly long post but clearly i have a lot to say on the topic :D
Thank you i have actually picked up a few tips from your post 😊
So the game plan should be to not give her a bottle in the morning and try feeding a proper breakfast like a toast or egg or a bite of paratha. She will initially take just a few bites. How long should i wait to give her a bottle? 30 to 45 mins? Or just try feeding her another solid if she still seems hungry? I think she is too young to understand the concept of a reward.
Also what are the appropriate portions of food a 13 month old should eat at one time? When Z was 8 to 9 months old she would eat one whole egg or banana. I am guessing that should be the target again if not more.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
you are right. a 13 month old doesn’t UNDERSTAND the concept of reward … BUT .. they absolutely respond to it anyway. understanding will come around age 2 and beyond. if you can, read a little bit about age appropriate positive reinforcement. teachers, child caregivers, child development specialist use this concept all the time even in babies. I bet you use it all the time too without realizing it … things you do to sleep train, potty train, stop dangerous behavior (like chewing electric wires) … use the same approach for eating too. consistency and repetition.
so specifically. i would tell zoya its time for breakfast yayyyy! yummy yummy breakfast! im sooo hungry zoya … r u hungry? let me see that empty belly! (tickle the belly). oh My GoD! thats a hungry belly. lets put andaa in the belly! … come one zoya lets mix some andaa.
i talked to her even though i know she doesn’t actually understand what i am saying … but i kept my voice cheerful and bright … like a cheerleader. yayyy everything is fun yayyy lets do this yayyy … u get my point?..
i got her involved. i sat her down on the floor or up on the counter (do not walk away if she is up off the floor) and let her mix the egg and i would tell her the ingredient going in. let her put in a pinch of salt … n i do the pepper. then i’d hoist her up on my hip and let her watch as i cooked the eggs. then i would sit down with her … eye level … keep thing playful bright happy. i let her play with the food /bowel/spoon… and in between would spoon a few bites in and then distract with a toy or picture of song … i also put out cut up fruit, few cheerios, little bits of bread so she had a few choices. i learned pretty quickly that way what things she liked better then others.
as you can see … it is a LOT LOT LOT of work and TIME. she would spill while mixing, not eat after all that effort or spit out a bite. took me at least an hour to do any kind of feeding.
I gave her milk only and only after she ate something … so i would say finish this (3 bites apple) then dudu … she would go noooooooooo … only dudu mama only dudu mama … tears tears … run away … crying no apple no eat. id just sit there and wait. she would come back after a few mins … repeat whole process. within 2-3 days … i was having to repeat less. 3 times instead of 5. if she ate … she got milk right away.
kids this age are stubborn stubborn little beings. they are so sharp.. they know exactly what will get them what they want (tears, tantrums) and they know who the easy soft person is 
BUT they are also amazing in how quickly they learn and adapt … thats why we(parents/adults) need to be very very consistent and repetitive.
remember to give her less milk then u usually do … so that she doesn’t stay full for hours and hours.
im sure there are other tricks/advise moms AND DADS on this forum can share … dont underestimate the power of dad. get dad involved. im gonna tag a few folks here …
@khattichick @S02 @prototype @Demilitarize @OYMWA @khawateen @TLK @aahmed @Muzna @somegroovychick @NaMaan @Lusi @Reha @Gemini the Great](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/members/gemini-the-great/) @Royal Gala @eastern11 @WendyDarling @queer
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
My 1 year old one was teething like a month back, and he refused eating solids . Its was my idea (sorry @Lusi) to give him Haleem . Its liquidy and full of energy . Plus I like it myself too , free treat ;)
Anyways, it worked .
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
^^ yes! He had haleem, soup, couscous for a week. Now he back to eating his good old solids and home lunch is coming back from school.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
My daughter is named zoya too 
And i have also read about positive reinforcement. I am an extremely paranoid mother actually so i haunt all the mommy forums pretty frequently. If Zoya twiddles her thumb i am like why why why is she doing that, do babies do that …cue hours of googling. It is unhealthy baqaida. I wouldn’t put her on the floor or carpet up untill she was 9 months old. As a result she didn’t learn to crawl and went straight to walking.
I really like the idea of keeping her involved in the whole process. I have noticed she immediately stops fretting if i take her to the kitchen with me. I am going to try this InShaAllah.
Also i tried to change the routine this morning. She woke up at 9. I didn’t give her milk. Instead gave her a bite of a pancake. Which she spit out at once. I kept at it for about half an hour and she ate only 3 small bites. She practically fight me. I mean with both hands and even with feet if she can. I forced a niwala into her mouth at this point and she gagged and almost threw up. So i gave up.
I think there is no other way. I should just keep trying no matter how big of a rola she creates, right?
Wish me luck.
Re: 13 months old refusing solids
I think a lot of things could be going on, and usually what happens is that toddlers develop routines and patterns and sometimes they just No because they want to assert their own will. They may well want to eat. Also I think they have a whole big world to explore, and food just isn't as exciting anymore. So it's going to be a little trial and error. Here are some things to try, if you haven't already.
Make mealtime a special shared experience, not something to get over with. Set the table. Let her help. Pick a "centerpiece". Even if you don't do all that, eat WITH her.
Is she in a high chair or some sort of seat that can lock her in place?
Let her eat from your plate.
Sometimes you just need to break a habit or start a new one in order to make things "normal." So get her in the habit of eating regularly again. That might mean singing songs to keep her engaged. Letting her watch some videos, whatever.
If you feed her, prepare food she can eat herself.
If she usually eats herself, maybe make it a special treat meal where you feed her.
Get a bento box or something with compartments or different colors and put little bite-sized or easy to pick up items in each one to develop a balanced meal.
Milk is offered AFTER meals, not before.
Sweeten food with honey. Season foods (salt, pepper, garlic, ginger, cinnamon, cumin, etc) for flavor.
Serve food with a little dip (yogurt, hummus, ketchup, honey, etc). Make eating a chance to develop a new skill.
Put her in a high chair. Don't offer her food. Ignore her. Sit down and eat your own food. See how fast she demands her own!
Be careful about "rewarding" her bad/uncooperative behavior with more attention. They start to see refusing or contradicting things as a game or a way to keep your focus/attention on them.