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Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides
of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf
before the end, bash up the villain (who is the real bad guy), and be pardoned
for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only
if he has a heroine - see rule). -
If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess
heroes/heroines will
- die
- join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.
-
If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savegely for
at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers). -
Any court scene will have the dialogue “Objection milord”. If it is said by
the hero, or his lawyer, it will be sustained. Else, it will be overruled. -
The hero’s sister will usually marry the hero’s best friend (i.e. the
second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30
minutes, and commit suicide. -
In a chase, the hero will always overtake the villain, even on a
bullock-cart, or on foot. -
When the hero fires at the villain(s), he will never
- miss
- run out of bullets.
When the villain fires at the hero, he will always miss (unless the hero is
required to die, as in rule).
- Any fight sequence shall take place in the vicinity of a stack of
- pots
- barrels
- glass bottles, which will be smashed to pieces.
- Any movie involving lost+found brothers will have a song sung by
- the brothers
- their blind mother (but of course, she has to be blind in order to regain
her sight in the climax) - the family dog/cat.
The amazing thing is that these folks remember the song after 20 years in the
movie, and you can’t remember it 2 minutes after coming out of the theatre.
- Police inspectors (when not played by the hero) come in two categories:
- Scrupulously honest, probably the hero’s father - killed by the villain
before the titles. - Honest, but always chasing the anti-hero (as in rule), saying “Tum kanoon se
bach nahin sakte”, only to pat him in the back in reel 23. Usually, this
inspector’s daughter is in love with the anti-hero. - The corrupt inspector, (usually the real villain’s sidekick) unceremoniously
knocked about by the hero(s) in the climax.
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i alwayz knew..
Indian Moviez SUX!!..
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Uske ik ik hurf ki teh mein mein ne akser chahat ka deriya daikh..
uski ankhon mein mein ne akser pyass ka sehra daikha..
derd ki ruut mein kon kisi ke zakhmon pe merhum rakhta hai..
chandni raat mein mein ne akser chand ko tanha daikha..