Girlfriend: And are you sure you love me and no one else.
Boyfriend: Dead Sure! I checked the whole list again yesterday.
Teacher: Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?
Pupil: The moon.
Teacher: Why?
Pupil: The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun lives us light only in the day time when we don’t need it.
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Pupil: A teacher.
Waiter: Would you like your coffee black.
Customer: What other colours do you have?
My father is so old that when he was in school, history was called
current affairs.
Pupil: Did you know that the most intelligent person is going deaf?
Teacher: Really. Who is it?
Pupil : Pardon.
Tom : How should I convey the news to my father that I’ve failed?
David: You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year’s performance repeated.
Teacher : Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?
Student : Brotherly love.
Teacher : Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers befor eating?
Sam : No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
Patient : What are the chances of my recovering doctor?
Doctor : One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of ten
people die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I’ve treated. The others all died.
Teacher: Hello boys, Remember !!! Nothing is impossible.
One of the 20 Students: Ok Sir, You please take out all the toothpaste and put it back into the tube again.
Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE ?
one Student: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the sameday sametime.
Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
One Student: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
I hate signatures.