Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Well that's your own fault - you should have get him a concubine as a b'day present on his 16th birthday :)
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
That would be a tough situation but abortion is out of the question in this case as it's totally up to the girls' parents so if they want to keep the baby I'd suggest for a marriage ceremony and I'd say, "your girl led my boy astray".
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
oh and don't forget to have a DNA test...it could be someone else.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Get the girls family involved. See if the two moron's are compatible to each other to get married, if yes, get them married and try to save this girl's/ son's izzet.
If not compatible, than leave the decision up to the girl (to keep the child, give to adoption, get an abortion) and help her through it as much as possible.
And what about the boy? He should get away with it easily?
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
in the real world girls parent will shoot the guy.
Maybe. But overall this girl would lose all izzet even though it takes two to impregnate a girl.
what does 'compatible' mean here?
If they actually fit together for a marriage. What if this was just a one night stand and they're are not a good match for each other? I think pushing people who don't belong together is worse in the long-run. The bachari girl and the son would have her/his entire life ruined because of one mistake.
But lets say they have been in a relationship and do see a future together even if there was no baby, than I would get them married.
And what about the boy? He should get away with it easily?
If he was my son he would NEVER get away with it even for a second. If there is no marriage in the future, he STILL will have to pay for anything that the girl is going to be going though. If that means she decides to have the delivery or an abortion, HE would pay for it ALL. Personally I would put more of the blame on my own son, rather than on someone elses daughter, only because this society is MUCH harsher on a girl.
Maybe, his punishment would be to volunteer at a shelter for women and children, and make him understand what he has done to this girl.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Firstly, I'd slap him silly and then I'd blame myself and wonder where I went wrong.
Secondlly, I would tell him to give me the phone number of the girl he impregnanted and ask her what she wanted/expected from my son. Were they in a relationship (bf/gf)? Were they in love? Did they have intentions of getting married? Is she planning on keeping the baby? Does she want to marry my son?
If they agreed to marry, then I would welcome her into my home and make sure that my son fulfilled his responsibilities as a father to the child and as a husband to her. If he didnt want to marry her, but agreed to support her financially, then I would make sure he kept his promise.
If he disagreed with even doing the least to provide for her financially, then he can leave my house because I do not want such a selfish and irresonsible person living under my roof!!
No way would my son get away scot-free!! All too often the woman pays the price, as it tok two of them to make this baby, he needs to pay his dues too!!
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Allah forbid if my son was a rapist… then well lets just say he will be handed over to the authorities or if he goes on the run then I will have to take part in the man-hunt and kill him if need be.
If it was a mistake between him and the girl… then there is only one way to save face. Get them married and pay “blood money” to her fammily 
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
I DON'T HAVE A SON!
YOU'RE WRONG!
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
^you're already disowning him??
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
interesting replies there. one can easily sense a mentality prevailing here that puts most of the blame of the pregnancy on the guy ...as if young women are incapable of making their decisions regarding sex...as if they need to be absolved of the mistake they have made but not the guy.
womens bias is so evident if you compare their replies here to the other thread named "what would you do if you daughter got pregnant outside marriage?"
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Firstly, I'd slap him silly and then I'd blame myself and wonder where I went wrong.
Secondlly, I would tell him to give me the phone number of the girl he impregnanted and a*sk her what she wanted/expected from my son*. Were they in a relationship (bf/gf)? Were they in love? Did they have intentions of getting married? Is she planning on keeping the baby? Does she want to marry my son?
If they agreed to marry, then I would welcome her into my home and make sure that my son fulfilled his responsibilities as a father to the child and as a husband to her. If he didnt want to marry her, but agreed to support her financially, then I would make sure he kept his promise.
If he disagreed with even doing the least to provide for her financially, then he can leave my house because I do not want such a selfish and irresponsible person living under my roof!!
No way would my son get away scot-free!! All too often the woman pays the price, as it took two of them to make this baby, he needs to pay his dues too!!
In both of your replies, why is it all about what the girl expected from the guy? whether she expected marriage, whether she was in love with him.. why is it about 'expectations' in the first place? why isnt it about the understanding b/w the two regarding what they want from the 'relationship' ?
why would you slap your son silly, but not your daughter? do you consider men to be morally superior? why do expect a higher degree of judgement from a young man than a young woman ?
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
I have no idea what I'd do honestly.
I would have to see how angry I am at him.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Maybe. But overall this girl would lose all izzet even though it takes two to impregnate a girl.
If they actually fit together for a marriage. What if this was just a one night stand and they're are not a good match for each other? I think pushing people who don't belong together is worse in the long-run. The bachari girl and the son would have her/his entire life ruined because of one mistake.
But lets say they have been in a relationship and do see a future together even if there was no baby, than I would get them married.
If he was my son he would NEVER get away with it even for a second. If there is no marriage in the future, he STILL will have to pay for anything that the girl is going to be going though. If that means she decides to have the delivery or an abortion, HE would pay for it ALL. Personally I would put more of the blame on my own son, rather than on someone elses daughter, only because this society is MUCH harsher on a girl.
Maybe, his punishment would be to volunteer at a shelter for women and children, and make him understand what he has done to this girl.
just because the society is harsher on the girl, doesnt mean the guy has to pay for it. They both are equally to be blamed. If the society is harsher on the girl then people need to do something about it specifically. try to change the mindset of society or support the girls ho are impregnated this way. not wish that society was equally harsh on men ! that is such childish mentality. you admit that its wrong that society is harsh on women but you want the same standard for men rather than simply trying to change the harshness against women.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
just because the society is harsher on the girl, doesnt mean the guy has to pay for it. They both are equally to be blamed. If the society is harsher on the girl then people need to do something about it specifically. try to change the mindset of society or support the girls ho are impregnated this way. not wish that society was equally harsh on men ! that is such childish mentality. you admit that its wrong that society is harsh on women but you want the same standard for men rather than simply trying to change the harshness against women.
This mentality will never change. It's nature taking it's course. That is why Islam puts so much emphasis on protecting girls, rather than guys.
Also, I was replying from the respect that he's MY son, not that he's a man. If I had replied in the other thread of MY daughter getting pregnant, in my eyes I would hold her more accountable than someone else's son. Someone else's child is not my problem (this is all assuming that they BOTH willingly had sex).
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
^
what nature taking its course? No one seems to fret over women getting pregnant out of wedlock in western society.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
And you didn't know about his girl friend. What would you as a parent of this boy?
I will make him marry her.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
^ what nature taking its course? No one seems to fret over women getting pregnant out of wedlock in western society.
it maybe more of a norm to get pregnant out of wedlock in a western society, but that doesn't mean society treats a pregnant girl and the guy who got her pregnant equally even in a progressive society.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
Cant we JUST ask a theoretical and random question? Why is everyone so damn serious? Sheesh kabob.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
it maybe more of a norm to get pregnant out of wedlock in a western society, but that doesn't mean society treats a pregnant girl and the guy who got her pregnant equally even in a progressive society.
that is changing with time. western society is quite indifferent to it.
you also seem quite unfamiliar with the rising phenomenon of single mothers by choice.
in any case your premise of nature taking its course is false.
Re: Your son has impregnated a girl outside marriage
I'd congratulate him first....
.....Then beat the hell outta him.