My belly hurts with thinking
your words
of seconds
and of seconds with seconds
laying forgotten
like bread
Between prayers
and inevitable
vomituous salvations
Sandwiched between
the losses in faith
Maybe I should give it all up
and in the place of your admiration
find myself a husband
and a few children
give it all up
for my elbows in dough
for a life
so
tragically mediocre
that i should blush on my wedding night
at its unpious thoughts
My head resonates with half coherant
waves of emotion
amplified by
expression
I hate to write poetry of love
or delerious
heart stopping happiness
but rather the moments inbetween
the inspiring heartbeat
fluttering
the moments
when you most feel
this feeling
this proof that you are alive
This solid insolance
this obtuse hurt
a clear angle
This view though a clouded puddle
through which you are convinced
you can see God
maybe it is best for trains to stop
before they run so far
and so fast
that they fall over the edge
and cannot be seen
for all the
loccomotion
the lightning speed
this feelng
The waste of
movement
can you imagine
Bitter seeds
of
orange pips
taht which gave me light
the sun
could be so sour
i could taste my heart in it
could be so angry
my bile duct would smile
to placte it
Like I am knocking on empty doors
of mothers
who were always barren
like me praying
to a grave
of a dead God
I wonder if my mother would be proud
to learn
that i have learnt the art
of tragic half rhyming
to see
that I have applied it to living
like a twinless
half moon
.
how ironic, that
the words I saved for you alone
are now lying
blush red
behind tattered
pillows
and quilts
I want to be a river
my limbs
my breath
in stream
in droplets
in cloudy mud puddles
under distant childrens
dreamy feet
not all of it makes sense. But good nonetheless.
I take it you mean you understand it all rather than it doesn't make sense :p
But yea,
I am done for the day :)