sorry let me call bull**** on this divorce is more common only because women are more independent and women wont deal with abuse..
that all is true, but not the only reason
its also because guys dont feel pressured to stay in marriages because of societal taboos about divorce either. In Pakistan where many marriages are in khandan and community and through family contacts it is not easy for a dude to walk away either, but just like women are more independent and can support themselves and can walk away, guys also end things more knowing that it is more acceptable.
littlefairyprincess noted that in her post as well
Agreed. Empowering women empowers men also, and relieves them of some of their traditional responsibilities and stresses that came with it. More power to liberation of women (& men)!
And while everyone is championing the "women standing up" factor, please note that a lot more women are now standing up just for the sake of standing up under misguided notions (because may be they heard something on the media about women empowerment), and end up destroying homes totally unnecessarily. I have seen numerous such examples in Pakistan and seriously that is no cause to celebrate.
Well first of all , we got to get rid of that desi notion that the divorce is a bad thing – yes indeed it is one of the most disliked things in the religion and culture ( most of us here on this forum belong ) . But also consider it as an option given by your religion to be opted in worst circumstances. Now the worst circumstances criteria differs on personal level . For some it could be their husbands not being faithful or getting a second wife and may be for others little less worries then ones mentioned above.
And why it is on the rise – well people thesedays tend to be in things ( whether a job or relationship) according their will and wish , which isn’t a bad thing either . As there is no point doing something , if you really don’t feel like doing it.
But once you are in a relationship , specially marriage , you got to act mature and mark your boundaries and share them with your partner too so he /she knows where you are standing ..
Small pity issues should get addressed and communicated well ahead before they start becoming real issues. In a relationship every thing is about the letter C … Communication , communication and communication .
On the same hand it is indeed despairing to see people getting divorced on tiny issues .. Materialism is good but it aint the key of success for a relationship .
BTW this is why i said it...based on overrwhelming response.....:D
Women and their families are less willing ot** take abuse**.
But what I meant was,** chauvinism is not as tolerate**d as it once used to be.
woman have learned to stand up for themselves instead of staying in the abusive relationship for the sake of children! and of course there is a small number of people who just don't want to work out
miscommunication and misunderstanding between husband and wife because of too much interference from the inlaws...
I feel like divorces are on the rise in countries outside of Pakistan because i have seen over and over and over again of the boys side having these crazy demands and expectations that are not doable for any normal human beings. I see many divorced men having the attitude that mei toh larka hoon ill find an other girl there are plently in the sea. Attitudes like that are less likely to work it out. If you are already pre determined to think there will be another better than my wife out there ill just find another (sad) As most have mentioned above that now a days the girls family is less likely to take abuse from the boys parents and when the boys and their families think we are larkay valay we can do what we want ends up in divorces.
**ager husband k relations hon with other girls **n he take interst in other girls n gives time to his wife also but the wife knows reality so wht shld wife do n relationship b limits cross kr k jo hoti hai woh wali
For some it** could be their husbands not being faithful or getting a second wife** and may be for others little less worries then ones mentioned above
hmm I think divorce is still very much seen as a taboo in our society especially with the older generation and some paindo thinking dimwits. I chose to get separated becoz I looked around and couldn't see history repeating itself, also living in a western county backed by 'rights' I had the option too
saying tht tho, I wouldn't recommend a divorce, unless u have the support from ur family or are incredibly strong minded and can stick up for urself. Best thing to do is ur research and find out if he/she is compatible with urself
Women are getting more educated and less likely to take bs, more able to stand on their own financially and leave a marriage.
That, and quite frankly, society globally is getting increasingly materialistic and dog eat dog type living, so naturally, selfish people are less likely to make marriages work. It's all about me, me, me. You serve me. I don't serve you. You owe me.
Gah. Gits. Can't stand it.
im educated maybe more than majority of girls here in GS....doesnt mean i'll be more likely to divorce...infact that chapter doesnt exist for me and my husband....because we'd never do that....y get married in the first place.....instead of increased divorce rates isnt it better to see a decreased rate in these "so-called" marriages (which end in divorce)?
^ I dont think she means educated women are more likely to divorce.
She means educated women are less likely to stay in bad marriages. They have options and can support themselves if the need arises. Education makes it possible for you to leave if your husband decides to take a swing at you. Instead of being majboor and staying...you leave knowing you dont need a man like that.
i think divorce rate is onthe increase due to kids getting into marriages without thinking and later on thinking theyve made a mistake....seen so many recently...especially girls leaving guy simply cuz they just got married cuz parents said so....GROW UP kids
i think divorce rate is onthe increase due to kids getting into marriages without thinking and later on thinking theyve made a mistake....seen so many recently...especially girls leaving guy simply cuz they just got married cuz parents said so....GROW UP kids
Its quite easy for someone to come on an online forum and tell people to grow up, but in reality it is far more difficult, alot of pressure is put on people to comply with traditional norms. We as second/third generation Pakistanis are very often confused between culture, religion and the western world which impacts on alot of things.
Why is Divorce on a rise? IMHO Its because parents did not bring us up to live in today's society, rather they bring us up to live somewhere in Pakistan. Also when a proposal comes the guy and girl don't get the opportunity to get to know each other further, because religion and culture does not permit it. and even if it did they would just put their good qualities forward and hide all their bad traits until after marriage.
Even in love marriages, In most cases the guy and girl haven't told their parents they are interested in each other, the families don't meet until much later. once the girl has got married and moved into her husbands family things change and its up to her to adjust and make most of the compromises.
In arranged marriages the parents give preference to the guys/girls family over the guy or girl themselves. and in love marriage its the opposite. In both cases both parties should get to know each other and see if they r compatible rather then leaving it to after the marriage.
As a parent If u have a good healthy relationship with ur child where they feel comfortable to come up to u and tell u about a guy/girl they like, then both families should get to know each other and get a flavour of each others family and continue from there. Or If u a rishta comes to ur house then give both the guy and girl the opportunity to get to know each other
women stand up for their rights :) Pehlay zamanay mein women put up with a lot of verbal abuse, physical abuse even, and that's why marriages worked because they stayed married despite all that. Now women don't tolerate all that, and why should they, no women deserves to be physically and verbally abused. Yes divorce isn't a good thing, but neither is living a life with someone you aren't happy with.
*But the main reason of all is no one follows the Quran and the teachings of our Prophets. If we live life following our deen, then there would be no divorces :) *
Big fat egos of both the parties.
I came across a divorce recently in a very close knit family which happened because of big fat ego of both husband and wife.
back in the day, couples had no choice. nowadays women can be independent so they dont need to put up with these men. now people would rather by happy being divorced than be miserable and stay married.
