Why can't you women

Theorist · March 5, 2014, 8:16pm

Re: Why can’t you women

Just wondering...how tall is everyone here?

OP, the interactions and emotions involved in relationships are very intricate and complex. They cannot be easily simplified as you have done in your thread, which reads more like a finger pointing at one gender. Deliberate and unintentional mistakes are made by both the persons in the relationship. After the storm has subsided and both individuals put their egos aside, they may be able to recognize their mistakes. If your thread is based on an actual situation, then it is one side of the story and not the complete story as holds true for all other threads. The validation you receive here is validation for just that one side and perspective.

It is not always the case that girls develop feelings for a guy after a few interactions. Sometimes those feelings can develop at a much later point when a friendship has already formed, making things more complicated. Society and cultures, even today, are not very encouraging of women making the first move. It can depend on the girl’s personality and whether or not she feels comfortable doing so. It can also depend on her perceptions of how she thinks or fears the guy might react if she were to make the first move. There are many factors at play and they are compounded by the other person’s responses and emotions like fear, pride, etc.

I do not think it’s right to diminish the girl’s feelings by saying that the average guy gets rejected often, so she should move on and deal with it. Maybe the girl has not been in that many relationships, maybe she had stronger feelings for this guy. People’s experiences vary. As uncomfortable as you may have felt by the lady’s confession of her feelings for you, I’m willing to bet that it was ten times more uncomfortable for her because she was the one being rejected. This places her in a more vulnerable situation than you. If one is going to be doing the rejecting, they can choose to do it with empathy and decency or they can do it in a way that kicks the other person when they’re already down.

Rejection is equally hard on both genders if the feelings are strong.