OK.... So this is a long distance relationship problem,
I am currently married to an awsome guy who is in Pakistan and I am encountering similar problems to what I encountered with my ex-boyfriend (before I got married). In both these relationships, there has been the long distance element. I call my husband every single and most of the time I find it difficult to actually speak to him. He carries his cell phone around with him and majority of the time, when I call him, he is either praying, with his friends, at home with his parents - hence too shy to speak openly with me, or is doing something 'important' and too busy to talk. He keeps saying "call after an hour" and when i do, he is still busy doing what he was before and cannot talk. When I question this important thing, he says that its to do with his friends. I have realized that his friends indirectly cause a lot of tension in my relationship with my husband, in that they are always 'there' when I call him. He is either playing Ludo, Cricket or listening to Pashto music with his god damn friends and he finds it 'awkward' speaking with me, whilst he is with them and cuts it short. On the other hand, he sometimes speaks freely and openly in front of some of his friends. Others times, he says that its not 'good' talking on the phone whilst his friends are in his company, especially with his wife. I totally understand this - however, what I dont get is that when I talk with my husband on the phone, he seems to be talking to me and his friends at the same time - meaning he doesn't give me his full attention and sometimes his friends tell him to 'come on, hurry up', whilst he is on the phone with me. I know for a fact that if my friends were with me and I was speaking with my husband, who is in another country - they would give me space to speak with him. His friends seems like rude a**holes who should know and realize that he is speaking with his wife in another country, with telephone communication being the only form of contact and they should at least give him space to talk. His friends can enjoy my husbands physical company day and night, but i only get ten mins on the phone and i dont even get that, because of them!! My husband said that i dont understand the 'system' in Pakistan and I said that i dont belive that there is any 'system' in place where a husband and wife are prevented from talking on the phone. When he said this, he meant the etiquette of dealing with friends and talking to wife at same time - he says its rude for him to cut off his friends to talk to me.
Any advise or insight into this problem would be much appreciated!!
"GO OFTEN TO THE HOUSE OF THE FRIEND;
FOR WEEDS SOON CHOKE UP THE UNUSED PATH"