This is mainly for the girls, but guys can answer too if they like :p
Ok so you have been offered two proposals, both guys are nice, but have some differences.
Option 1: Born and bred in Pakistan, qualified as a doctor, nice personality, looks average, he's a cousin of yours so you know what the family is like. However his family has stated that he might just settle in Pakistan even after marriage and would want you to move from the UK/USA to Pakistan.
Option 2: Born and bred in the UK/USA, works in a good position at a bank , is alright looking, is well settled. However this rishta is from outside of your family so you don't know the family that well.
If you had to choose from the two above, which one would it be? :)
Lol fair enough!. However *if *you were born and bred in the UK/USA would you still go for option 1?
Nah, then i wl be confused like you :p. Haha. Well it seems both are on same level, so i would focus on shakal part more and go with the one i m more attracted too :D.
If I were you, I would do a search on GS and find all the threads started by nadz123. That should help you to see what you may encounter with option 1, if you were to go for that one.
After reading those threads, you might just want to go for option 2. Or you might decide that neither are good for you.
NO man i did that out of curiosity and mess up my head :(
OP plz dont do that + plus there are alot of other variables in play other than being from pak,
all the ppl who replied above states their own preference based their own reasons, have got nothing to do with your, ur family, ur situation, dont what you wanna get out of this topic anyway
If I were you, I would do a search on GS and find all the threads started by nadz123. That should help you to see what you may encounter with option 1, if you were to go for that one.
After reading those threads, you might just want to go for option 2. Or you might decide that neither are good for you.
If I were you, I would do a search on GS and find all the threads started by nadz123. That should help you to see what you may encounter with option 1, if you were to go for that one.
After reading those threads, you might just want to go for option 2. Or you might decide that neither are good for you.
Good luck!
Not every US/UK bred girl who marries a guy from Pakistan is like that.
Well thanks guys for your opinions, and as you all have probably guessed this is the situation I am in. After carefully analysing the pros and cons of both rishtas, I have decided to go ahead with option 2, only because I feel moving back to Pakistan is not something I am looking in to and would prefer to stay here in the UK and other factors as well. :)
I would get to know both prospectives (if i was okay to marry a cousin to begin with). Then i would decide who i am more attracted towards. Whose company do i seem to enjoy more? and who seems to be more understanding and caring? Just because the guy is from your family does not mean that he would be a good husband to me or a suitable match for me. Above all, I have seen many guys who come from Pakistan and are having trouble to settle down professionally and financially here. Worse now after all the economy breakdown and high unemployment rate. Even a doctor does not mean anything he would have to go through years of training and examinations to finally be able to practice or find a job. Can you sacrifice? or do you have faith in this cousin of yours? In both cases i would prefer the compatibility of views and lifestyles over anything else.
Option 1 is not suitable for me since I don't want to marry in the family. Just tooo complex for me to manage the after marriage change in dynamics. Besides, its difficult for girls bred outside Pakistan to adjust in Pakistan. Someone reasonably educated NOT belonging to my extended family will do for me preferably already settled outside Pakistan. Sons of family friends are good option as compared to extended family since you know about the guy and the family without the presence of family politics etc.
Option 1 is not suitable for me since I don't want to marry in the family. Just tooo complex for me to manage the after marriage change in dynamics. Besides, its difficult for girls bred outside Pakistan to adjust in Pakistan. Someone reasonably educated NOT belonging to my extended family will do for me preferably already settled outside Pakistan. Sons of family friends are good option as compared to extended family since you know about the guy and the family without the presence of family politics etc.
If I were you, I would do a search on GS and find all the threads started by nadz123. That should help you to see what you may encounter with option 1, if you were to go for that one.
After reading those threads, you might just want to go for option 2. Or you might decide that neither are good for you.
Good luck!
Or you might let your cousin see those threads.... he'd promptly retract the proposal and you won't have to choose anymore.
I would go for option 2; as I wouldn't want the if/mabye of moving abroad, as I've lived in the UK. Also marrying into the family isn't something I personally find to be an deciding factor.
I would go with option 1. The complexities of marrying within a family are no more than marrying a family who are complete strangers. Atleast with family you know what you are getting into. You did say the pakistani doctor MAY go back to Pakistan, but then he might not. After he sees the excellent salary he can earn in the UK he might decide otherwise.
The fact is, a doctor earns more than a banker in the UK and the job is more secure than a bankers (given the financial mess the banks are in). Other things of course matter too, but once you have a family, the financial stability of the husband becomes the most important thing.
^Not necessarily.. A sucessful London city banker can easily earn as much or even several times more than a doctor (esp if he/she isn't a consultant and/or only NHS).. Fact is ppl go for doctors more because of the stable income rather than the ability to make serious money.. The vast majority of doctors' families lead 'comfortable' lives but not luxurious by any stretch.. (the rich ones tend to end up that way thru private practice or setting up a business eg nursing homes)..
Thats what I'm talking about, job security and stability. I did not mention the word luxury! Also not every banker works in the city, most probably work in the high street banks.