when potential rishta's come to visit

[Rainbow09]

@Milly

For the first tea trolly meeting you are basically on show. Like a little doll in a shop window. You be yourself, but the shop window you. Like all sharmili and polite and smiley. I have never understood what people come to look for, so no matter what you do, you wont know what it is they want to see.

Dont giggle at the guy if he eats 5 samosay and then spills the chutney on the floor and dont act horrified if the potential MIL claims all black people are thiefs and defo do NOT chortle when potential FIL gets out his mobile phone and doesnt know which button he needs to press to answer it.

Other than that…its all good experience. Character building so to speak.

Good Luck!!!

alvena: Yayyy, you don’t have to bring out tea

[alvena]

Re: when potential rishta's come to visit

another thing im reallly worried about is that, i prefer to speak in english...i can talk in urdu to aunties...but im most comfortable with english and what if he starts in reallly amazing urdu and im like ermmmmmmmmmm..ahhhhh

[Magic_8_Ball]

another thing im reallly worried about is that, i prefer to speak in english...i can talk in urdu to aunties...but im most comfortable with english and what if he starts in reallly amazing urdu and im like ermmmmmmmmmm..ahhhhh

Try to relax, Alvena. Have you ever gotten so worked-up about a situation only to find that things turned out fine? Well, that's how you'll feel about this as well. A good majority of things we worry about rarely happen. I speak urdu at home on a daily basis, but I get nervous speaking in Urdu around people that I'm not familiar with or that I usually don't speak Urdu to. In these situations, if the person starts speaking in urdu, i respond back in English. And without getting upset, the other person automatically understands that I prefer to respond in English. There, that's it. Nobody creates a hoop-la over it. Usually my response in English shows that I understood the Urdu correctly. It's no big deal.

The guy will be able to tell that you can speak Urdu because you said that you'll be speaking in Urdu to the Aunti/Uncle. Perhaps your mom might speak to you in Urdu as well and that will also be an indication. Just speak to him in English if that's what you comfortable with. It'll show you have a decent grasp of both languages. :) Plus, you've been raised in the west, and trust me, it won't come as a scandalous shock to the guests that you feel more comfortable speaking English because that's the language you have to depend heavily upon outside of your home.

[PyariCgudia]

Re: when potential rishta's come to visit

Speaking in English is YOU. You'll be using the English after marriage, right? So, why not use it in front of them now. If they have a big issue for it and its a deal breaker to them, you might as well let them exit now with some saving grace.

[alvena]

Re: when potential rishta's come to visit

Magic ball thankyou so much for your post!

Thats exactly how i am as in speak urdu at home all the time but infrtont of new people it all goes a bit weird.

But your post made me feel so much bettter!

Also thanks PCg your posts make me feel better too!

I should not panic so much just take it lightly....

ahhhhhhhhhhhh

[PyariCgudia]

Re: when potential rishta's come to visit

Be confident. You're the one in power here. You don't like him, you can tell him to take a hike.

[Sara516]

Thankyou for the advice everyone!!

I asked my mum if i have to bring tea out and she said no i dont yayyyy!!

I just want to go for like 10 mins and come out....

And i want to talk to the guy on his own, i hope i will be able to.

Ok another thing i found out about him, he spent 5 years in pak , the rest of his life was here in england.

I have spent my whole life is england going pakiland every summer only.

DO u think he will be a bit fresh? nothing wrong with fresh people but it worries me... like his urdu is going to be better than mine...

If all other factors are in his favor, that part shouldn't bother you. In fact, if his Urdu is better, you can always learn from him.