Re: when potential rishta’s come to visit
Wow. Not something I miss.
Be yourself, I suppose. 
I don’t think its unreasonable for you to ask permission from the elders when they do come and visit, if they think its okay that you two talk privately at some point before any decisions are made. Who knows. You might see the guy and observe him, and think its not worth talking to him at all. Maybe he’s repulsive.
He’s interviewing you, but don’t forget - you’re also interviewing him. Watch his every move. Observe his family and the power control. Does his mom control everything? Is he allowed to open his mouth by his family? Does he do anything slightly rude or inconsiderate while he’s at your home? Does he make any retarded comments?
A guy opens his mouth and you can figure out easily:
- If he’s a retard.
- If he’s been well-schooled
- Where his priorities are.
You should definitely ask questions to the family, or if the set-up doesn’t allow you to talk, make a list of questions for your parents to ask him. Like, you should know what you’re looking for. And you need to ask those questions. Ex. you want him to live alone with you away from his parents, then they need to be asked about living arrangements after marriage.